Anxiety

LegacyUser

Hi all

I suffer from absolutely crippling anxiety when speaking in front of colleagues. I mean voice-strembling, arms-shaking, cheeks-burning and feeling faint.

And here's the funny thing (don't laugh!): I am actually a lecturer! And a successful one at that, I can speak in front of 100 students with no problem at all. But put me in front of my peers, or even in front of a wedding etc, and I am so so nervous.

This came to a head today, where I actually rang in sick to work because there was a SLIGHT chance that I might have to speak in front of 20 colleagues. What the heck is wrong with me?

A little background; I have always had to work hard with self-esteem issues (crap dad etc). However with lecturing I found a career I love and I am happily married with a beautiful baby girl. I am very well regarded by both colleagues and students, and enjoy my job.

This issue may seem slight compared with others, but it is really upsetting me.

Am I wierd? How can I be so confident in one scenario, and then a wreck in another?? That dichotomy is what troubles me the most. It's driving me crazy

Roisy7

upsetting wrote: »

Hi all

I suffer from absolutely crippling anxiety when speaking in front of colleagues. I mean voice-strembling, arms-shaking, cheeks-burning and feeling faint.

And here's the funny thing (don't laugh!): I am actually a lecturer! And a successful one at that, I can speak in front of 100 students with no problem at all. But put me in front of my peers, or even in front of a wedding etc, and I am so so nervous.

This came to a head today, where I actually rang in sick to work because there was a SLIGHT chance that I might have to speak in front of 20 colleagues. What the heck is wrong with me?

A little background; I have always had to work hard with self-esteem issues (crap dad etc). However with lecturing I found a career I love and I am happily married with a beautiful baby girl. I am very well regarded by both colleagues and students, and enjoy my job.

This issue may seem slight compared with others, but it is really upsetting me.

Am I wierd? How can I be so confident in one scenario, and then a wreck in another?? That dichotomy is what troubles me the most. It's driving me crazy

I don't think you're crazy at all. I think the intimacy of speaking in front of a select group of your peers can be very intimidating...

Back in school I used to sing. My confidence was low yet I found the prospect of singing in front of the leaving cert examiner was not as intimidating as practising in front of my class. I think because I felt I had to see them all the time and if I was awful they'd judge me worse than a stranger?!

Maybe you should try something like toastmasters that could help you deal with speaking in small groups?

Taltos

Actually OP I would hazard that this is quite common.

It is one thing to speak in front of a class who are there supposedly to learn from you, who may (but probably not) ask you questions and who will rarely challenge you.

It is quite another to speak in front of a group of peers who will probably question you, who may be playing politics, or who may have a grudge against you or who just don't want to be there. - If that is what you are thinking even subconsciously then it is no wonder you are a wreck.
Instead try to view your colleagues as your class.
> They are there because they want to be. They are interested in what you have to say. You might actually learn more from t"he presentation than you expect as they "constructively" ask you questions.

The thing is - the more you do this the easier it will get. Been there have the card.
But start small - is there a small group of colleagues - even just one or two who you could practice in front of? Be honest - tell them you prefer to prepare as you value the input of your peers and their advice would be really helpful. There are also courses available on how to give effective presentations - speaking with your peers is by it's nature a little different - some of these courses may be able to address how to shift your mindset or expectations of the event.

I have gone from having extreme shakes - stupidly leaning on the table with the projector (picture it..) to now being relaxed and at ease. It takes conscious effort but above all else for me it took an effort to just accept that yes I was nervous but so what, what was making me so different from the person that was presenting before or the one to come - nothing. Remember small steps - preparation helps - you fall into a routine and one day soon you realise you don't need those 3 prep sessions - it just clicks... That is pretty much what happened to me - got caught out one day where I had no time to prepare or get ready - thrown in the deep-end - but all of the previous presentations where I had prepared and practiced stood to me and I got on with it - was it flawless? Not at all - but I got though it and have never looked back.

skyfall2012

I have suffered social anxiety in the past and sort of overcome it. I sure wouldn't have the guts to become a lecturer, though I would love this job. I have found listening to lectures from Biola University and other Uni's on youtube about Abnormal Psychology has helped me understand my anxiety and helped build up my confidence. That feeling of 'you are not alone' came to me when I realised they are actually studying people like me and trying to figure out how to cure us, that in it self was a cure for me.
Remember the movie the King's Speech, I loved this character and the movie suggested that his stuttering was connected to childhood related trauma, therefore he felt very anxious when he became aware of himself when having to speak. You feel like shouting at the screen telling him he can do it. Well the irony is, we need to use that voice on ourselves. We need to re-program what has been programmed into us since we were little. I wish you the best of luck!

LegacyUser

Taltos wrote: »

Actually OP I would hazard that this is quite common.

It is one thing to speak in front of a class who are there supposedly to learn from you, who may (but probably not) ask you questions and who will rarely challenge you.

It is quite another to speak in front of a group of peers who will probably question you, who may be playing politics, or who may have a grudge against you or who just don't want to be there. - If that is what you are thinking even subconsciously then it is no wonder you are a wreck.
Instead try to view your colleagues as your class.
> They are there because they want to be. They are interested in what you have to say. You might actually learn more from t"he presentation than you expect as they "constructively" ask you questions.

The thing is - the more you do this the easier it will get. Been there have the card.
But start small - is there a small group of colleagues - even just one or two who you could practice in front of? Be honest - tell them you prefer to prepare as you value the input of your peers and their advice would be really helpful. There are also courses available on how to give effective presentations - speaking with your peers is by it's nature a little different - some of these courses may be able to address how to shift your mindset or expectations of the event.

I have gone from having extreme shakes - stupidly leaning on the table with the projector (picture it..) to now being relaxed and at ease. It takes conscious effort but above all else for me it took an effort to just accept that yes I was nervous but so what, what was making me so different from the person that was presenting before or the one to come - nothing. Remember small steps - preparation helps - you fall into a routine and one day soon you realise you don't need those 3 prep sessions - it just clicks... That is pretty much what happened to me - got caught out one day where I had no time to prepare or get ready - thrown in the deep-end - but all of the previous presentations where I had prepared and practiced stood to me and I got on with it - was it flawless? Not at all - but I got though it and have never looked back.

OP here. Thank you, that is excellent advice. I agree with you, it is all about practice and experience.