Depression, Anxiety and Counselling?

LegacyUser

Hi,

I have been anxious and depressed for over ten years and am now in my mid 20's. For the past few months I have made a concious and continued effort to work on this- with some success, particularly in my problem of avoiding everything. However by actively doing things I would normally fear the scale of the issues I have let fester has become very apparent.

I had a very unhappy childhood due to my fathers behaviour and treatment, I was controlled and I guess my trust was abused. My mother was a great woman but was never able to stand up to him properly. Looking back the one positive from my obsessive worrying is that it seemed to push me to do well in school and university, but it did cost me a significant portion of life that I have completely missed out on.

Anyway to the present I have been getting extremely stressed in pretty inoccuous circumstances. On my way to work on a crowded bus I became so uncomfortable that I felt I was going to collapse, I had to get off and go for a walk and ended up an hour late for work. In lifts with strangers my breathing is no longer automatic and I lose control and end up holding my breath for the duration. I can often see the empathy in peoples faces when they deal with me as there is almost no situation that I am able to relax myself into. In fact a lot of the time I trying to keep a brave face on whilst I really feel like curling up into a ball and crying, people in work seem to think I am quite emotionless but I really am just concealing a mess.

This has had a marked impact on my life, while I do have a dwindling amount of friends I can actually properly deal with I would say I haven't gained a new friend over the past half dozen years and am becoming increasingly distant the friends I have. I cant deal with men or women, and intimacy with anyone feels a million miles away from something I can be comfortable with. When a girl tries to flirt with me she hits a brick wall. Other than sport I struggle to think of anything enjoyable I have done over the past 12 months.

At this stage (bizarre how I've taken this long and my family never tried to intervene) I am finally accepting I could do with counselling and maybe some form of medication as there is so much I could make of myself if I tried.

However there are a few issues with this I could use some advice on. I actually get on quite well with my GP and am friends with his son, this makes me a bit uncomfortable approaching him about this, if I go to a different GP would my prescriptions be put onto some file that he could access?

In other people experiences would medication put me into a zombie-like state or can it help a recovery? Obviously it is up to the GP whether or not I actually need it.

As for counselling what hours do counsellors work? I have a job in a fairly corporate place, I wouldn't want them getting a sniff of this so would prefer going somewhere discrete at a time outside of working hours, would this be typical or would I have to visit some medical centre from 9-5?

RossFixxxed

sorrystateofaffairs wrote: »

Hi,

However there are a few issues with this I could use some advice on. I actually get on quite well with my GP and am friends with his son, this makes me a bit uncomfortable approaching him about this, if I go to a different GP would my prescriptions be put onto some file that he could access?

Your new GP will ask your medical history or you can give written permission for your old GP to send him your file.

In other people experiences would medication put me into a zombie-like state or can it help a recovery? Obviously it is up to the GP whether or not I actually need it.

Not necessarily at all. Sure some meds are incredibly powerful but your doctor will recommend what he thinks is right in the situation. The GP will usually start with the minimum dose they think will suffice, and only over time and with observation will they adjust your dose. They may not even prescribe meds!

As for counselling what hours do counsellors work? I have a job in a fairly corporate place, I wouldn't want them getting a sniff of this so would prefer going somewhere discrete at a time outside of working hours, would this be typical or would I have to visit some medical centre from 9-5?

There are many different councellors/psychologists/psychiatrists etc around the country and some work very flexible hours as they know people are working. There is a sticky at the top of this forum full of information. See where your GP recommends and don't be afraid to shop around. These people are there to help and they'll steer you in the right direction.


The first few steps are hard. Asking for help isn't easy to do sometimes, but you won't know yourself as you progress. Things can and do get better. There isn't a magical fix and it can take time. You may try different treatments e.g. CBT, councelling, medication or a combination of things. It's finding what works for you and sticking with it. Keep an open mind, it's easy to become cynical or doubtful of some of this, but I have experienced, and witnessed huge transformations in people. Best of luck!

loubian

I got depressed last year, have been to counselling three times before I started again this year. I felt lost, hopeless, out of control. I was losing my friends and my family were extremely worried about me. What you don't seem to realise when you're feeling down and in the dumps is that 1)there are people who feel the same, and 2)the people around you, friends and family, actually do care about and love you. The first thing a counsellor will always say to you is congratulations. Congratulations for taking the next step into recovery. It is a small, but life changing step. And you can do it. I truly believe that counselling helps people. As for medication, I'm on medication now for six months. It has calmed me down a whole lot, but what I really found worked was finding a counsellor who is right for me. I started Cognitive Behavoural Therapy in July and I never though I would feel so good again. I'm able to deal with things so much better now. Seven months ago, everything would have put me in a bad mood, now I smile everyday.

Basically what I'm saying to you is, first talk to your GP. In regards to knowing his son, your affairs with your doctor should be private anyway, so there'd be no way his son would find out. Secondly, read up about the different types of counselling and see if one suits you more than another. As RossFixxxed said, there are counsellors who work flexible hours to suit peoples needs. Just take it easy, and remember to keep breathing! Good luck!

skooterblue2

Hi OP
Right now we are in the middle of mental health Pandemic. 1 in 3 are suffering from depression and 1 in 4 are on some sort of medication.
You are not alone. However society makes us feel this way. It takes 10 years on average for a person to get treatment.

I am 3 years in recognizing that I have problems. Addressing them took an awful lot longer.

I have taken 2 prescriptions for 1 year each of Cipramil and Effexor. Both reduced me to a unfeeling zombie. Its not the pills that are the big thing its the withdrawing from them. I found them very hard to come off.
You can never tell "Exactly" how a person will react taking a medication or combination of medication. The fastest way to treat patients is prescribe Lexapro/Cipramil (SSRI) or Effexor/Lurox (SSNI). Doctors are over whelmed by the deluge.

I am not a doctor and cannot speak for everyone but I can tell you apparts from keeping me calm my life didnt advance one pace in 2 years on them. I now get regular acupuncture and it helps me massively.

My cousin was a well know professional in Dublin and 3 weeks ago he took his own life. Noone knew he had problems.

I congratulate you on getting help. The hardest journey starts with the first step. I found I wasnt benefiting on them. I dont like living unless I am thriving. What I mean by this is If I am not getting anywhere (Proffessional, socially, academically) I am not happy. Since getting off Medication (Big step), I have never been temped to go back. Google people getting off these meds.

I tried counselling and no it doesnt work for me. No disrespect to them but my problem is more a physical one that manifests as an emotional one. Definitely DO NOT tell them at work ever or confide with anyone at work!!! They will mark you cards. Deal with it outside of work. I made that mistake.

Your Doctor and his son will not be able to access your files if you go to a different GP.

An acupuncturist cost different prices between €25-55 a visit. Get a recommendation. A good clue is the waiting room any place with a busy waiting room is a good sign.

OP, I wish you luck and hope you find peace of mind. I now go out 2 nights a week have an amazing circle of friends (20+) that I never had. I amn't locked away from people in an inner city bed sit. I am now finish college and enjoying life on all levels