Foster home threat?!

xxXCuteypieXxx

I need some advice about a situation involving my 17 year old sister.

Due to family issues, my sister was placed in foster care 7 years ago. The foster home is that of our aunts and they do not live far from us, lucky i know. She is now 17 and for many reasons she wants to move out of there. I believe she would be in a better position if she did move out of there, either with me (21 and living independently with my fiance), with her boyfriend of 2 years or back home. The reason she is in care in the first place is a long time dealt with and there is no longer a risk to her safety and welfare.

When she tries to tell her social workers that she cant stay at our aunts anymore she is quickly told that if she attempts to leave she will immediately be placed in a foster home somewhere around the country, with complete strangers! This is a terrifying idea for her as she is a very mature sensible girl and nobody wants this to happen! I dont know the law but I find the idea that people can just throw my sister into a random foster home god knows where, while we have such a huge family of aunts and uncles who could take her in! Are they really allowed to do this??

tayto lover

You haven't explained the problems with her staying where she is.
The Social Workers obviously see her as a danger to herself and not being in danger with the aunt she is now with.
The SW obviously knows of things/events that you are unaware of and trusts the aunt your sister is with now. If she was in danger there or not being treated properly then they would/should know about it and if you think she is in danger there then you should inform the SW of your fears.
When the girls is 18 she can go where she wants.
Would I be right in thinking that the girl is not getting the freedom she craves and that your aunt has fears regarding the boyfriend she has?

xxXCuteypieXxx

tayto lover wrote: »

You haven't explained the problems with her staying where she is.
The Social Workers obviously see her as a danger to herself and not being in danger with the aunt she is now with.
The SW obviously knows of things/events that you are unaware of and trusts the aunt your sister is with now. If she was in danger there or not being treated properly then they would/should know about it and if you think she is in danger there then you should inform the SW of your fears.
When the girls is 18 she can go where she wants.
Would I be right in thinking that the girl is not getting the freedom she craves and that your aunt has fears regarding the boyfriend she has?

She is without a doubt a danger there. I would be here for a week telling you why my sister should get out of there asap.
1) my aunt mocks her on a daily basis about her weight.
2) bought her grad dress in a charity shop without her even getting to choose it. It was a size 10 and told her she wont be going to her grad unless she fits into it. This was 4 weeks before her grad and my sis is a size 16.
3) When my sister was younger she started socializing with the rougher crowd her cousin hangs out with it. My aunt told her if she wanted to invite a lad back to stay the night she would give them condoms. My sister was 14.
4) My sister wanted to do a course but its a half hour drive away. She refuses to pay for bus, wont drive her, and wont let me drive her.
5) She has been seeing her boyfriend for 2 years and he is a lovely person. This sounds crazy, but because he is not 'rough' but a decent hardworking young man she does not approve. She does let him come to the house sometimes, never to stay the night, but she makes sly remarks about his weight and looks.
6) Our cousin of 19 verbally abuses my sister, encouraged by my aunt.

My sister did try telling the social workers but she is terrified of what my aunt or cousin will say or do. When the abuse started, they listened at the door while they spoke to eachother. The social worker did nothing about the complaints and my sister suffered even more nasty comments from her aunt for 'telling stories'. Every other time she would speak to a social worker about it outside the house in a cafe or somewhere like that, the social worker went to my aunt and they came to the conclusion that my sis is just an attention seeking troubled teenager. Again, my sister suffered as the social went back to my aunt even though she promised my sister she wouldnt.

Ive tried to get in contact with the social workers to set up meetings or to let them know whats going on, but they point blank refuse to answer my calls and never respond to texts. It is true to say that my aunt and the social workers get on very well and my aunt can do no wrong in their eyes, as to them, she is a hardworking mother who also raises her teenage daughters baby also.

I assure you this is not an exaggerated story by a teenager who does not get enough freedom. I witnessed this first hand as I was in their care for a year. My aunt and her daughter are absolute bullies and known troublemakers. However, the social workers don't see it and my sister has lost all faith in them.

btb

Put everything in writing and send it to your sisters social worker, also the social workers team leader/ principal social worker and keep a copy for yourself. The HSE only responds to issues when they are in writing, not phone calls and certainly not texts. Just my tuppence worth...

tayto lover

xxXCuteypieXxx wrote: »

She is without a doubt a danger there. I would be here for a week telling you why my sister should get out of there asap.
1) my aunt mocks her on a daily basis about her weight.
2) bought her grad dress in a charity shop without her even getting to choose it. It was a size 10 and told her she wont be going to her grad unless she fits into it. This was 4 weeks before her grad and my sis is a size 16.
3) When my sister was younger she started socializing with the rougher crowd her cousin hangs out with it. My aunt told her if she wanted to invite a lad back to stay the night she would give them condoms. My sister was 14.
4) My sister wanted to do a course but its a half hour drive away. She refuses to pay for bus, wont drive her, and wont let me drive her.
5) She has been seeing her boyfriend for 2 years and he is a lovely person. This sounds crazy, but because he is not 'rough' but a decent hardworking young man she does not approve. She does let him come to the house sometimes, never to stay the night, but she makes sly remarks about his weight and looks.
6) Our cousin of 19 verbally abuses my sister, encouraged by my aunt.

My sister did try telling the social workers but she is terrified of what my aunt or cousin will say or do. When the abuse started, they listened at the door while they spoke to eachother. The social worker did nothing about the complaints and my sister suffered even more nasty comments from her aunt for 'telling stories'. Every other time she would speak to a social worker about it outside the house in a cafe or somewhere like that, the social worker went to my aunt and they came to the conclusion that my sis is just an attention seeking troubled teenager. Again, my sister suffered as the social went back to my aunt even though she promised my sister she wouldnt.

Ive tried to get in contact with the social workers to set up meetings or to let them know whats going on, but they point blank refuse to answer my calls and never respond to texts. It is true to say that my aunt and the social workers get on very well and my aunt can do no wrong in their eyes, as to them, she is a hardworking mother who also raises her teenage daughters baby also.

I assure you this is not an exaggerated story by a teenager who does not get enough freedom. I witnessed this first hand as I was in their care for a year. My aunt and her daughter are absolute bullies and known troublemakers. However, the social workers don't see it and my sister has lost all faith in them.

I would report this to your solicitor and write to the Social Worker's Team Leader making sure you keep a copy of the letter yourself. If your story is true, I believe it is, then your sister is suffering a lot of emotional abuse. You could also demand a change of Social Worker.

xxXCuteypieXxx

I never knew this! When I did manage to get to speak with one of them they would sit there nodding taking notes..im thinking great finally something will be done. Obviously they never followed up on it. Ill write a letter and send it to the main guy over the whole thing.

My sister was told told that if she has any problems she can text them any time but like me never got a response, yet when my aunt wants to get in contact a quick text and the social worker drops everything to accommodate her..surely that cant be right?

Back to my earlier question though, do they truly have the right to just move a child into a random foster home on the other side of the country?

btb

Would think that they cant just move a child in care, but nothing would surprise me. Seems to be a major shortage of foster carers at the minute, always see HSE advertising for them. So maybe if they have none lately then they might move a child to another area, if they had a placement available there.

tayto lover

xxXCuteypieXxx wrote: »

I never knew this! When I did manage to get to speak with one of them they would sit there nodding taking notes..im thinking great finally something will be done. Obviously they never followed up on it. Ill write a letter and send it to the main guy over the whole thing.

My sister was told told that if she has any problems she can text them any time but like me never got a response, yet when my aunt wants to get in contact a quick text and the social worker drops everything to accommodate her..surely that cant be right?

Back to my earlier question though, do they truly have the right to just move a child into a random foster home on the other side of the country?

Only if they fear she is in danger where she is can they move her.
They usually hold a family case conference before they do anything to change the plan that's already in existence.
My advice to involve your solicitor still stands though.

xxXCuteypieXxx

tayto lover wrote: »

Only if they fear she is in danger where she is can they move her.
They usually hold a family case conference before they do anything to change the plan that's already in existence.
My advice to involve your solicitor still stands though.

If it was just my 17 year old sister I would jump in there with gaurds, solicitors and everything else to give them what they deserve believe me..but me and my family are terrified of the thought that if they do investigate, found the situation unsafe, then decided the only option would be is to move them. Even though my mothers problems are gone they still have issues understandably she could become addicted again, so moving home isnt an option. That leaves me. I applied for custody before but they were quick to note that I was only renting a house with my fiance and im only 21 so should be worrying about my own life not theirs. All other family is on my mums side and because its my mums problems that started it its unlikely they will go there.

Sorry if i seem to be going on and on here but im just so frustrated by the system and its been going on long enough.

tayto lover

xxXCuteypieXxx wrote: »

If it was just my 17 year old sister I would jump in there with gaurds, solicitors and everything else to give them what they deserve believe me..but me and my family are terrified of the thought that if they do investigate, found the situation unsafe, then decided the only option would be is to move them. Even though my mothers problems are gone they still have issues understandably she could become addicted again, so moving home isnt an option. That leaves me. I applied for custody before but they were quick to note that I was only renting a house with my fiance and im only 21 so should be worrying about my own life not theirs. All other family is on my mums side and because its my mums problems that started it its unlikely they will go there.

Sorry if i seem to be going on and on here but im just so frustrated by the system and its been going on long enough.

You need to be very firm and stand up to them.
One thing that always gets action is the involvement of a solicitor.
If you and you're sister went to a solicitor and got him to draw up papers making you her legal guardian (if your mother is not in a fit state) then that should have the desired result. No harm having a chat with a solicitor in this regard.

Victor

xxXCuteypieXxx wrote: »

Back to my earlier question though, do they truly have the right to just move a child into a random foster home on the other side of the country?

They don't do it willy nilly. In theory they need to take a lot of factors =into account, but in practice, not all options may be available.

MagicSean

The first thing to do is to make them fully aware of the situation in the home and how it is affecting your sister. There's no point making requests or demands. They won't really be listened to if they are not supported by something ot if there has been no attempt to address the situation.

biddybops

MagicSean wrote: »

The first thing to do is to make them fully aware of the situation in the home and how it is affecting your sister. There's no point making requests or demands. They won't really be listened to if they are not supported by something ot if there has been no attempt to address the situation.

One word of advice, be very careful when dealing with social workers.
You are, in there eyes, leaving them open to accusations of negligence and bad judgement.
You can try to involve the legal profession but your sister will probably reach the age of legal maturity before any thing will be done.
Try to have your sister stay with you as much as possible and keep your heads down as much as possible.
Keep a diary of all contact you have with any hse worker or solicitor.
If they persist in insisting that your sister is just 'attention seeking' the next step could be a psychiatric evaluation.
The best of luck with your situation but things will get better when she can legally make her own decisions.

Equality

Go to a solicitor.

One point may interest you, as mentioned below.

She can keep the orphans' pension until 22, if she stays in school or she can get the full dole of 188 plus rent allowance at 18, if she is coming out of foster care.

If she moves back to her parents and loses the foster care allowance, she will only get a max of 100 on the dole at 18, and won't be likely to get rent allowance.

schemingbohemia

She's not an orphan though

xxXCuteypieXxx

Equality wrote: »

Go to a solicitor.

One point may interest you, as mentioned below.

She can keep the orphans' pension until 22, if she stays in school or she can get the full dole of 188 plus rent allowance at 18, if she is coming out of foster care.

If she moves back to her parents and loses the foster care allowance, she will only get a max of 100 on the dole at 18, and won't be likely to get rent allowance.

Not orphans my dad works away in Scotland most of the time comes back every 2nd weekend and him and my mum have a happy marriage so its not like he can get custody and raise my sisters without interference from the social. My sister wants to avoid the dole as much as possible but she is aware that it may be the only choice if she cant find a job. I believe my aunt is getting a payment for fostering them but my sisters see none of this. If this is the 'pension' your referring to, it really wont affect them at all.

Equality

It does affect them, based on the information you have given.

The child is not required to be an orphan.

The criteria is that the orphans allowance or the foster care allowance must be paid in respect of the child. Your sister is getting the foster care allowance paid on her behalf to her aunt, according to your post.

This means that she gets the full dole of 188 at 18, as she is coming out of foster care. The fact that her parents are alive is not relevant, what is relevant is that she clearly cannot rely on them for support, as she is coming out of foster care. Therefore the full dole and rent allowance should be available. SW won't notice as the foster care is paid by the HSE not SW, she will need to tell SW when she claims, but once she does tell them they will grant the full 188.

If she goes back to her parents, she will be means tested and might get nothing, as dad works.

xxXCuteypieXxx

Equality wrote: »

It does affect them, based on the information you have given.

The child is not required to be an orphan.

The criteria is that the orphans allowance or the foster care allowance must be paid in respect of the child. Your sister is getting the foster care allowance paid on her behalf to her aunt, according to your post.

This means that she gets the full dole of 188 at 18, as she is coming out of foster care. The fact that her parents are alive is not relevant, what is relevant is that she clearly cannot rely on them for support, as she is coming out of foster care. Therefore the full dole and rent allowance should be available. SW won't notice as the foster care is paid by the HSE not SW, she will need to tell SW when she claims, but once she does tell them they will grant the full 188.

If she goes back to her parents, she will be means tested and might get nothing, as dad works.

Ok that makes sense. I got the impression that somehoe my aunt can still claim for her after she turns 18. She is leaving as soon as she turns 18 so there is no way my aunt can get anything from her. As a matter of interest, what exactly can she be claiming right now. My 3 sisters are in her care so does she get foster allowance plus child benefit? She also has another child of her own so I assume she is claiming for her also?

Equality

Over fifty thousand per year, tax free, for three foster children.

She gets child benefit, about 140 for each child per month.

She gets foster care allowance. This is between three to four hundred euro per week per child. About 330/week for a young child, slightly more for a teenager.

Therefore more than a thousand per week for three foster children. This is not taxed.

If there is income from employment, that is usually it, unless the income from employment is low enough to qualify for Family Income Supplement.

If the aunt/her husband are on social welfare (jobseekers, lone parents, disability or old age) they get another 30 euro per week per child.

They can continue to claim so long as the child is resident with them and in full time education. If the child is doing/repeating the leaving, the get the full amount, even if the child is over 18.

If the child goes to university the child gets the higher education grant and the foster care amount is reduced, down to about half.

Equality

If a child has special needs, the foster mum gets the domicillary also at 330 per month.

Then if she qualifies for it should would also get carers benefit or allowance in respect of the special needs foster child. This only applies if the child has a disability and the foster parent meets all the conditions, including the means test.

xxXCuteypieXxx

Equality wrote: »

Over fifty thousand per year, tax free, for three foster children.

She gets child benefit, about 140 for each child per month.

She gets foster care allowance. This is between three to four hundred euro per week per child. About 330/week for a young child, slightly more for a teenager.

Therefore more than a thousand per week for three foster children. This is not taxed.

If there is income from employment, that is usually it, unless the income from employment is low enough to qualify for Family Income Supplement.

If the aunt/her husband are on social welfare (jobseekers, lone parents, disability or old age) they get another 30 euro per week per child.

They can continue to claim so long as the child is resident with them and in full time education. If the child is doing/repeating the leaving, the get the full amount, even if the child is over 18.

If the child goes to university the child gets the higher education grant and the foster care amount is reduced, down to about half.

fifty thousand per year?? That is unbelievable! She never buys them anything from food and she has been doing up her house ever since they went into care! Only there yesterday she refused to pay for my sisters taxi to get home, 'you think you can just use my money for your personal use?' were her words i believe :mad: