Trying to get inside a mans mind

RoseRedHeart

Hey everyone I am just wondering....
Is it better to be a chaser or to play cool and not even nessessarily 'Hard to get' but sit back and let the guy do alll the work? I met this guy recently who I thought was great and he used to ring me up for chat and organise dates etc etc.... next thing he rings me up and says That's It folks (essentially).
I had totally fallen for him in my head but it looks like the opposite was going on in his head.


I still really like him although it is getting easier to not think about him ALL the time as each day goes past.

Would love some advice from lads on here? Cheers !

Tefral

Like i said in your previous post, it (from the limited information you have provided) appears that he was doing all the work!

That would get tiresome for anyone man or woman

py2006

Did you try ringing him up and asking him out?

leggo

You're kinda only focusing on one thing with the info you give, so it seems like you've made up your mind on what you feel the problem was.

In reality, it could be a multitude of things. A lot of women tend to think things through moreso than a lot of men (yes, there are many, many exceptions on both sides). But, as a general rule of thumb, if a guy rings you up every now and then and ends it quickly, I'd say that he wasn't that interested and you were a 'placeholder' of sorts. Not that he just used you for sex or anything, but members of both sexes tend to just kinda keep people around us while we wait for someone we really like to come along. It's not necessarily nice but it happens a lot. Being lonely and/or horny does that to a person.

Don't take it personally, though. The reality is that, if he wasn't that interested, you two probably just weren't a good fit. There's nothing wrong with you...even though it feels that way when someone you like rejects you. You just have to look out for people who appreciate you more in future. Ultimately, that appreciation is the foundation that'll make any relationship work and should supercede anything more superficial that we look for in a partner.

I always say that if you settle for less, you'll get it every single time. Perhaps another lesson to be learned from this is that you need to be more upfront with your intentions from an early stage (in a non-needy way) and not leave it to chance...even if it means you risk losing someone you like. That's easy for me to say, I know, but it's still true.

seachto7

If you let the guy do all the work, the guy will eventually go "ah f*ck this........"

smash

I think at this stage you've shown your colours and he's said he's not interested so leave him be.

sam34

moved to RI. please note their charter applies from here onwards.

Taltos

Thanks sam34.

OP - you might get a more balanced and even response if you could elaborate on the issue. With the details provided there is very little constructive advice we can offer here.
Also as per sam above if you have not already read our charter now would be an excellent time to do so.

Thanks
Taltos

ash23

No harm in playing it somewhat cool (as opposed to needy and full on) but balance it with some encouragement too.

Although truthfully, I think if someone is into you enough, they'll forgive your little foibles and quirks and still be interested. And vice versa.

Generally speaking, if someone dumps you, it's rarely because of something small you did or didn't do right, and moreso because they aren't into you.