Organising a baby shower!

meoklmrk91

Hello all,

Not a parent but just wanted to get some advise, my friend is pregnant and I have been asked to be godmother, she has decided that she wants a baby shower, this is not my forte at all. Not she is down to earth it's not going to be anything fancy, but still Ive never been to a Babyshower and know nothing at all really about babies.

Should I get a cake? Can you get Baby shower balloons and banners and stuff? Is there games that are played? Anyone have any ideas, I'm going to get her sister to do the food anyway as that's not my forte either. Any tips from anyone who had a baby shower would be great thanks.

axel rose

Sorry Op but baby showers scream "BUY ME STUFF!!!! LOTS OF STUFF BECAUSE IM PREGNANT." :rolleyes:

I see them as a progression from the 3 x hen parties, wedding weekend etc. people are broke!

Honestly I'd be embarrassed to be associated with it. Book a nice restaurant and don't put her friends under pressure to buy stuff.


I'm a massive cynic though and am highly allergic to any 'order' to provide presents in situations like this. I'm old fashioned and prefer to buy a gift when the baby is born.

(No help really am I?:D)

pwurple

There is a reason you have never been to one, they are not done here normally. Your friend has been watching too much american TV.

Ask her who's baby shower she was at, and say you have not heard of them done in Ireland.

Friend-shakedown extraordinaire.

deelite

I was invited to a baby shower but I didn't attend - due to financial budgeting. I figured that I would have to buy a present of neutral colour for the shower, bring a bottle (for mum after the birth), and then once the baby arrived safely into the world another present would be purchased. So I couldn't afford it.

suggested game - do a pool (fiver a head winner takes all once the baby arrives safely) sex, weight, date

NextSteps

Friends wanted to organise one for me but I hated the thought of anyone feeling pressurised to spend money and buy presents, and especially before the baby had arrived safely. So they went ahead with it but specifically told people NOT to bring presents.

I don't think it's an Irish tradition to buy baby things before the baby has arrived, and I was very uncomfortable with that. Plus it wasn't all that long after my wedding, so I had already been made a fuss of!

Eveyone brought round something to eat instead (a lot of cake!) and we sat around and drank pink fizzy stuff and had a great chat. It was lovely. I can't remember any particular games.

deisemum

Unless she's American or from somewhere where it's a tradition then it just smacks of greed and attention seeking.

I personally don't know anyone who's been to a baby shower here in Ireland but wouldn't go if I was invited to one either. I'd just feel used for gain.

There are still a lot of mums to be who are superstitious about having baby things in their home until the baby arrives.

Maggie 2

We had a baby shower for one of our workmates recently. We held it in our lunch break. We each (7 of us) chipped in €10 to buy baby clothes and €5 to buy a cake, nibbles, flowers and choccies. We had it in our workplace. Just made tea and coffee and had a lovely mumsie hour. It didn't cost the earth and we all enjoyed it. The clothes buyers had a few embarrassing moments when they were seen buying vests and baby gros! All clothes were bought in Dunnes Stores and Pennys. We bought a sleeping suit, pack each of romper suits, baby gros, bibs, socks, soft towel and flannels, a hat, cardigan, a rattle and a cuddly toy! We didn't know the sex of the baby, so everything was either white or lemon and in size 3 to 6 months. We also got a gift pack made up for Mum of body moisturiser, shower gel and hand cream in Boots for €10. For our €15 a head, she got a huge bag of clothes, flowers and chocolates and we all had a lovely time!

lynner83

We had a really lovely baby shower recently for a close friend, it such nice way to catch up before the new arrival. You can pick a lot of things up in the pound shops, I know we had banners for its a boy/ girl, blue, pink balloons, jelly babies on tables etc.
We all helped by bringing something food wise to the baby shower so it wasn't that expensive and we gave €25 each for the presents.
Played games like blind folding each other and feeding yoghurt, we also had little cheap baby grows that we estimated the sex, dob and weight.
I think it really depends on how close people are, but you have so much fun.

2xj3hplqgsbkym

[We all helped by bringing something food wise to the baby shower so it wasn't that expensive and we gave €25 each for the presents.
fun.[/Quote]
Wow that is so expensive- she could buy a buggy with that money! And did everyone buy a present when baby is born also?

I agree, having a baby shower screams "look at me and shower me with gifts" If your friend really wants a shower I would tell guests they can bring a gift if they like, but spend a max of €5. And give people a category to buy e.g. Something funny for mum or dad, or a pampering present for mum ( like a body cream or book or something), or something practical for baby.

ArthurG

meoklmrk91 wrote: »

.....Anyone have any ideas, I'm going to get her sister to do the food anyway as that's not my forte either. Any tips from anyone who had a baby shower would be great thanks.

I'd say your best bet would be to watch lots of American sitcoms.

As an aside I'm thinking of having a Thanksgiving party in my gaff, and am setting up a gift list for it in BT.....

eviltwin

I agree with everyone else. I think its a bit much to expect people to spend cash on a gift, then another one when baby is born and then yet another one if the child is christened. And its a lot of work for you to put it all together.

I'm all for the notion of a get together before baby arrives but do something that doesn't make people feel obliged to spend a lot of cash.

MurdyWurdy

I'm also not a fan of baby showers and have told my friends under no circumstances are they to organise one for me. I'm a bit superstitious as well which is one of the reasons I don't like them, but mainly it's the "buy me things" aspect of them - very American.

Friend's of my husband's had a baby 6 months ago and we got invited to the shower (it was not just for women). We hadn't spoken to them in months and they weren't ever very nice to me (according to them I'm "frivolous") yet they sent a list of presents they wanted us to buy them (stuff we "need"). Eh, feck off! We declined the invite.

Also, we were told by mutual friends that at the baby shower they told everyone (on top of the presents people had already bought) that they wanted everyone to cook one meal for them for the two weeks after the baby was born and gave out of a timetable of who was to cook on what day. It was shameless. Our friends who were there were gobsmacked.

Just be really sensitive that it may look like your friend is getting you to throw a shower to get stuff and think carefully about how you go about it. The above story is an example of what NOT to do!

I've been to two baby showers (neither in Ireland) and they were fun, despite my dislike of them. They both had themes and really nice food and drinks, the friends had put a lot of effort into it but again, it was mostly about getting stuff. There was games as well (eating melted chocoalte out of nappies, wearing safety pins on string around your neck and banning the word baby - if you said it you had to give away a safety pin to the person that spotted it, that kind of thing). One of the mum's wouldn't let anyway drink because she couln't, the other mum didn't care and the one we got tiddly at was way more fun!! So if you're going to do it maybe think about that kind of stuff and stipulate no presents? I can see how it would be nice to get everyone together before babba is born.

Stheno

MurdyWurdy wrote: »

Also, we were told by mutual friends that at the baby shower they told everyone (on top of the presents people had already bought) that they wanted everyone to cook one meal for them for the two weeks after the baby was born and gave out of a timetable of who was to cook on what day. It was shameless. Our friends who were there were gobsmacked.

That is beyond belief!

MurdyWurdy

Stheno wrote: »

That is beyond belief!

Tell me about it - lucky I wasn't there because I wouldn't have kept quiet about that one, words would have been had. My friend who went did make them some food (more fool her) and said they were really ungrateful about it as well. She was actually very upset about it.

Rachineire

I had a baby shower and I have thrown two for other irish friends here. Now I'm not irish and a baby shower would be the norm for me- and my friends threw me my baby shower.
for me it is NOT about the gifts at all- In fact, in all my experience (with friends in america and ect) a lot of times its more about getting together and conversing and having cake and ect with the mother to be before she has the baby. Games are played, cake is had, its a nice afternoon!

I did get presents but I wasn't expecting a thing from anyone! I told every single person who did ask what we wanted or needed that all I wanted was the pleasure of their company and to enjoy some cake with me! The same goes for both baby showers i threw (with other friends helping) for my other two irish friends here. There was definitely no expectation of spend (like 25 euro minimum) if presents were purchased! (I had one friend make me a diaper cake which is brillant since those diapers will definitely get used and the "stand" on the inside is a bottle of baby lotion! dead handy!! and it probably cost her less than 10 euro total to make and was the centerpiece at my shower!)

I always made sure to have games to play, like the "dirty nappy" game or the don't say baby game, or even guess the bump game ( use string or crepe paper and see if you can guess how much you need to get around the bump...obviously this is only if the mammy to be is willing and will be in good humor about it! It can be pretty funny to see how big or small people think your bump actually is!)

I think discounting a baby shower as attention seeking greed is harsh and it makes me wonder if my other irish friends now think that about me since I had one!

MurdyWurdy

Rachineire wrote: »

I think discounting a baby shower as attention seeking greed is harsh and it makes me wonder if my other irish friends now think that about me since I had one!

It sounds like you were very sensible about the whole thing, telling people you just wanted their company so I doubt it! Sounds like you had a lovey day

ash23

I've often had a girly night for a friend who was due but would never have classed it as a "baby shower". To me a baby shower is everyone bringing stuff the mum to be will need for the baby.

In Ireland it would be common enough to have a nice lunch or dinner for the mum to be when she is finishing up work for maternity leave. Just a way for everyone to catch up with her before she is unavailable for a while.
Then the gifts are bought when the baby arrives.

I think I'd turn down an invite to a "baby shower" because I'd think it was a greedy ploy by the mum to be honest.