Is this a sign i should end it?

perfect_circle

I've been seeing a guy for the last few weeks and Im not sure if i could continue with him. We've been on a few dates and have gotten on really well, text all the time and have good chemistry.

Sat night we went for a few drinks and were in rounds. We moved pubs and he said something teasing me and i said for that he owed me a drink, even though it was my round. Then he basically flipped out and started saying did i expect him to pay for everything and then walked out of the pub. He said maybe he shouldn't bother with relationships, that he's better on his own and that his long term ex he went out with for ages took advantage of him.

After a lot of convincing he stayed. He was literally so angry he was about to go home and call it a day. We made up anyways and he came back to mine for a cuddle (nothing happened) and we had a nice day.

Im just wondering is the flip out a bad sign? He got so angry it was like a totally different person. Should i see that as a sign and end it or give him another chance as i really like him? I just don't want to get hurt.

Its Behind You!

Very bad sign in my book. He needs to grow up a lot and fast. I would'nt let him make those required adjustments on your time.

Create a big bit of distance for yourself for now, and move on.

CarMe

Yeah I think that's a really bad sign the nerve of him storming out on you on a date just for making a joke and having to be coaxed back in!
He sounds like he's got issues and id definitely move on from him!
That'd give me the creeps to be honest.

Payton

Your last paragraph says it all....run and keep running, if this is what he is like this early its a serious red flag. Cut contact and move on.

LegacyUser

ugh so many issues:

1. He can't take a joke, can't laugh at himself, fears being made fun of, sounds horribly uptight.

2. He clearly has huge baggage with his ex and is clearly not over her, not to mention bitter and resentful towards her and women in general. (pretty scary when mixed with issues 1 and 3)

3. The major red flag - serious, serious anger problems.

Really liking him is not a valid enough excuse to forgive his behaviour tbh. Why on earth would you risk giving him another chance, next time you could be forgiving him for punching you in the face- he really sounds like he has very serious anger/anger management problems. See it for what it is a very lucky escape, you got to see his true colours before you got any more involved - run for the hills OP.

m'lady

Run and don't look back for your own sake and sanity!

Merkin

perfect_circle wrote: »

Then he basically flipped out and started saying did i expect him to pay for everything and then walked out of the pub. He said maybe he shouldn't bother with relationships, that he's better on his own and that his long term ex he went out with for ages took advantage of him.

After a lot of convincing he stayed. He was literally so angry he was about to go home and call it a day

Put it this way, if he was flying with Ryanair he'd be absolutely screwed for excess baggage. This man has wayyy too many issues (and too bad a temper) for you to have to put with when you're only getting to know him. I'd be cutting him loose. People often say what they really mean if you listen hard enough so I'd take it literally that he shouldn't bother with relationships.

dixiefly

You can be sure of one thing......if you stay with him something similar will happen again. On top of the issues that the others have identified it looks as if he isn't that much into you either as he was prepared to walk away like that.

Very bad form imo and not someone I would be advising anyone to develop a long term relationship with.

perfect_circle

dixiefly wrote: »

You can be sure of one thing......if you stay with him something similar will happen again. On top of the issues that the others have identified it looks as if he isn't that much into you either as he was prepared to walk away like that.

Very bad form imo and not someone I would be advising anyone to develop a long term relationship with.

Thanks everyone for your responses. I texted him to tell him its over and he apologized for being an idiot and asked for another chance. While i definitely hesitated i think you're all right, too many red flags. Upwards and onwards!

squonk

Good move OP. I'm all for second chances and giving someone the benefit of the doubt. We can all have bad days and other things in our life that bother us at times making us prone to flip out suddenly but that doesn't apply here as he can't take a joke and, were it me who flipped, I'd be back immediately to apologise knowing I was being an arse. I think you had a lucky escape here OP so, like you say, onwards and upwards!

curlzy

I think you did the right thing too. Sounds like he has issues with women, maybe his ex was nasty but do you really want to have to go out with someone while he fixes those issues. Bad temper is a serious red flag, I think you've saved yourself some grief.

jordainius

Its very concerning that he'll do that so soon into the relationship, after only a few weeks and a few dates? That seems to me the type of thing that would only get worse the longer the relationship developed, people tend to be somewhat restrained at the start of the relationship so this may only have been the tip of the iceberg...

You may have had a lucky escape there, like the previous posters said; you made the right decision.

FrogMarch

Hmm. Male perspective here. I think it's a bit harsh saying that he has issues with women in general. From what I gather from the OP's first post, his ex took advantage of him financially and maybe he was just hyper-vigilant to this? His issue seems to be with his ex and the OP asking for another drink, despite it being her round, made him flip out.

However - I'm not making excuses for the guy here. I'm just saying that, rather than being inherently a bad guy, he's just got bad baggage. Certainly his flipping out and inability to react in an emotionally balanced way probably means that he's nowhere near ready for another relationship yet. He may need therapy? So, OP, you're right to give him a wide berth.

Taltos

OP - as you have taken action on this I am going to close the thread.
If you want it re-opened at any point please PM any of the mods.

Taltos