Advice Please!

NiamhMcD

Okay guys, I joined today for some advice.
My boyfriend of a year broke up with me six weeks ago. He told me things hadn't been the same for awhile, he still loved me, but couldnt continue in the relationship. Safe to say I was devastated. I saw him last weekend and it made me realise how much I missed him, his behaviour was odd, most nights out he is up for the craic but I could see that he wasnt himself on this particular night.

Now, only this morning I deleted him from my facebook as I have found myself looking at his page so much more often after seeing him out. Even after I deleted him I went to his page only to find he has blocked me after realising that I have had him deleted.

Should I be taking something from this? Or is he just getting some revenge?
I feel that I need to fight him as our break up was very vague, and I just let him walk away. Am I being delusional and should I should stay away or should I try and fight for him?

Midnight Sundance

Are you sure he's just blocked you or has he is privacy settings set to friends only?
On my Facebook page, if you're not my friend , you can't see anything and if you deleted him that would mean your not his friend and therefore wouldn't be able to see what you would have previously??

Perhaps try view his page from another persons profile that's not his friend, then you will know his privacy settings.

On a side note, I think the sooner you move on from looking at his page, the quicker you will get over the break up. It is hard to move on if part of you is still watching everything an ex is doing. It will hurt you more in the long run , honestly.
For your own sanity , take it as a blessing you can't see his comings and goings!!

NiamhMcD

I'm definitely blocked, he doesnt come up in the search, and photo comments that he has recently posted, I can no longer see. Thsnk you for the reply. x

ABajaninCork

OP, either you want to make things work with this guy or you don't!

If you want to make things work, then why have you deleted him from your FB? Makes absolutely no sense to me. No wonder he blocked you! He probably thinks you're over and there's no interest.

You need to make up your mind. If you want him, stop with the game playing, deleting him from FB. It's childish. Put your big girl's pants on and talk to the guy. If you don't ask, you don't know.

Stavro Mueller

If you want to try and patch things up, what on earth were you playing at by deleting him? Talk about mixed messages! Some people will say "oh it's only Facebook" but you have to realise the message you were sending out when you unfriended him. It's a sign that you don't want that person to be a part of your life, be it online or otherwise.

Maybe he does want to get back together but I do wonder are you reading too much into things? After all, he is the one who dumped you. He didn't make that decision lightly and while he probably is missing you, have things really changed? The underlying reasons for why he broke up with you are still there.

Really, the only way you can know one way or another is to talk to him. And if he is still sure you should stay broken up, he has done you a favour by blocking you on Facebook. Being able to monitor him is only going to cause you heartache if he starts seeing other women. It's also stopping you from getting closure and getting yourself into the right frame of mind to get on with life without him.

MissFlitworth

NiamhMcD wrote: »

I'm definitely blocked, he doesnt come up in the search, and photo comments that he has recently posted, I can no longer see. Thsnk you for the reply. x

You can set your facebook profile so that only friends can see your photo comments or bring you up in searches, you completely lock yourself off from anoymous randomers finding you or seeing anything you post. Could really be just that you defriended him is making it so that you can't see his stuff anymore

Stavro Mueller

As far as I know, if you block someone they don't show up in the search. She also says she can't see photo comments he posted any more. That sounds to me like a blocking.

Ickle Magoo

Hey OP,

I'm not sure why it's an issue for him to block you - but it's okay for you to delete him. If the motivation is getting over him then I don't think you should care whether you've been blocked or not - since the entire purpose of deleting him was to stop you looking at his profile, checking whether you still can or not seems counter-productive. Consider whatever reason for you being unable to view his profile as a blessing and concentrate on your original goal of getting over him.

All the best

IrishEyes19

OP, I think him blocking you is the best way to move on! I really believe things happen for a reason. I can understand why you deleted him. Facebook is painful when you break up with someone, everything they do is thrown in your face if it involves another girl they are seeing and ya sure you can make it that you dont see their posts, but unfortunately curiousity wins out and you end up looking at their page anyway.

I wouldn't contact him to be honest he knows where you are, he can unblock you if he wants. But he made a choice to end it and you need to respect it. Vague break ups are awful and I feel for you on that one, but be good to yourself now and move on. Don't waste the next few weeks or god help you years pining for someone who doesnt want to be with you. It's a hard thing to do but the amount of energy and worry that goes into the pain of trying to get over someone is unbelievable and you literarly shun other potential people out of your life, it really is true!

I dont know the ins and outs of the relationship, so I cant comment on whether he was a good boyfriend or not. But you really dont want someone who made you feel this way, who dumped you. If he liked you he would fight for it too. Why must you fight for it? Get up on your feet again, dust your self off and move on. If you go back on this and contact him, the first message you are sending out is you are fickle and he can come back anytime he wants and go.

This isnt a war against who has the upper hand or winning him back. Its a chance to move on and get going again. Good luck

Pippy1976

NiamhMcD wrote: »

I'm definitely blocked, he doesnt come up in the search, and photo comments that he has recently posted, I can no longer see. Thsnk you for the reply. x

So you're blocked... what is the deal here? You're not in a relationship together anymore and don't need to be looking at his page (or his at yours) other than to drive yourself demented and make yourself sad.

I think it's really good you can't see his page. Try move on. It's the best thing you can do right now.

squonk

Facebook seems to change their privacy settings every week. In any event, it could well be the case that he blocked you for his own benefit, so that he can have a chance to move on and so he can't look you up.

Personally I'd say stop thinking like this or about any of this. Get up on your own two feet and move on. Get involved in new things to meet new people. Hanging out with the guy after 6 weeks isn't necessarilly the best thing to be doing at that point in the breakup anyway. He broke up with you. Let it go and do your best to get over it and move on.

Buncha Fives

OP he has definitely blocked you on FB (been there done that!!). Your situation is difficult to comment on because I don't know enough details but having been down that road before it could be a case that after the initial period of freedom he is now feeling lonely.

RossFixxxed

Look at it from his side:

"She deleted me off Facebook". And his friends' advice: "Block her page and don't be lingering on it, time to move on, sorry mate".

The FB thing these days is a bit ridiculous, but to be fair if you unfriend someone on FB, don't expect them to be your friend on FB.

It's no bad thing, maybe he needs to space to move on and you clearly do.

curlzy

Forget about Facebook. It doesn't matter. At the end of the day he dumped you, don't go making a fool of yourself over him. Don't go begging, have some pride. Delete his number, stop all contact and start moving on. I know it's hard when you don't understand why he finished it but at the end of that day that doesn't matter either. It's over and hard as it is, you need to move on. Concentrate on yourself, get out and have some fun and rediscover the joys of being single and free.