boyfriend wets the bed all the time

cjr12

I know how you feel, me and my boyfriend of 6 years have just moved in together and he pisses the bed all the time and doesnt even clean it, its up to me other wise its left to stink the place out, And drinks all the time, i never see him sober. I have tried to talk to him over and over again but i get nothing from him no " im sorry " nothing, hes happy to sleep in his own piss which i think is unbelievably dirty. He wants to live like a dirty dirty pig which i cant cope with why should i ??, I have lost my temper alot and arrguments have turned physical with him lately because there is no change he doesnt want to change his ways.

This example will probably make you cringe, At the weekend i went to my sisters house to look after my 1 1/2 year old neice as she was having a baby so i spent the night there to help her out, after a day and half there i came back home to a messy, filthy, stinking **** hole and to top it off i walk in to the bedroom and it stunk of piss he pissed my brand new bed and left it didnt even bother to clean it or wash the sheets, HE JUST LEFT IT!!!! so of course i flip out and says to me " why cant you do it" why the f**k should i...

This is what i find unbelievable - we havent slept in the same bed for weeks he is on the sofa and on the one night im not there he gets into my bed and pisses init.

So now i have seperated the place he has the living room and the bedroom is mine. Ive told him i find him repulsive and dont want to be with him or anything to do with him, i dont want him anywhere near me but still nothing changes, the only thing hes botherd about is MY laptop which he needs for his HGV licence exams but why should i give it him when he doesnt respect anything or anyone not even himself, because i havent givin it to him he says im childish im evil im vindictive blah blah blah and then threatens to wreck my car, What an Unbelievable f*****g C**T.

I would move out tomorrow but the realy stupid stupid thing is.. we signed a 3 year contract. We've only been here 6 weeks.

so much for thinking you know a person :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

ANXIOUS

cjr12 wrote: »

I know how you feel, me and my boyfriend of 6 years have just moved in together and he pisses the bed all the time and doesnt even clean it, its up to me other wise its left to stink the place out, And drinks all the time, i never see him sober. I have tried to talk to him over and over again but i get nothing from him no " im sorry " nothing, hes happy to sleep in his own piss which i think is unbelievably dirty. He wants to live like a dirty dirty pig which i cant cope with why should i ??, I have lost my temper alot and arrguments have turned physical with him lately because there is no change he doesnt want to change his ways.

This example will probably make you cringe, At the weekend i went to my sisters house to look after my 1 1/2 year old neice as she was having a baby so i spent the night there to help her out, after a day and half there i came back home to a messy, filthy, stinking **** hole and to top it off i walk in to the bedroom and it stunk of piss he pissed my brand new bed and left it didnt even bother to clean it or wash the sheets, HE JUST LEFT IT!!!! so of course i flip out and says to me " why cant you do it" why the f**k should i...

This is what i find unbelievable - we havent slept in the same bed for weeks he is on the sofa and on the one night im not there he gets into my bed and pisses init.

So now i have seperated the place he has the living room and the bedroom is mine. Ive told him i find him repulsive and dont want to be with him or anything to do with him, i dont want him anywhere near me but still nothing changes, the only thing hes botherd about is MY laptop which he needs for his HGV licence exams but why should i give it him when he doesnt respect anything or anyone not even himself, because i havent givin it to him he says im childish im evil im vindictive blah blah blah and then threatens to wreck my car, What an Unbelievable f*****g C**T.

I would move out tomorrow but the realy stupid stupid thing is.. we signed a 3 year contract. We've only been here 6 weeks.

so much for thinking you know a person :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

Why would you stay in a situation like this? Is it a lease if so just walk out.

cjr12

its a three year lease theres no way out

ANXIOUS

cjr12 wrote: »

its a three year lease theres no way out

For an apartment? Yes there is, simply walk away. You'll lose your deposit but that will be the end if it. I've never heard of anyone signing a 3yr lease.

Mervenut

You've been together 6 years, did you really not have any idea he was like this? I just don't understand how you had no inkling he was like this? You say you've never seen him sober, then why move in with him, I really don't understand how you couldn't see that this was coming?

cjr12

no not to this extent, maybe ive been blind and dumb

cjr12

ANXIOUS wrote: »

For an apartment? Yes there is, simply walk away. You'll lose your deposit but that will be the end if it. I've never heard of anyone signing a 3yr lease.

That was the deal with the landlord, they were looking for a long commitment

ANXIOUS

cjr12 wrote: »

That was the deal with the landlord, they were looking for a long commitment

You need to look after your own best interest not someone else's. If you can afford the rent on your own kick him out.

burgermasters

cjr12 wrote: »

I know how you feel, me and my boyfriend of 6 years have just moved in together and he pisses the bed all the time and doesnt even clean it, its up to me other wise its left to stink the place out, And drinks all the time, i never see him sober. I have tried to talk to him over and over again but i get nothing from him no " im sorry " nothing, hes happy to sleep in his own piss which i think is unbelievably dirty. He wants to live like a dirty dirty pig which i cant cope with why should i ??, I have lost my temper alot and arrguments have turned physical with him lately because there is no change he doesnt want to change his ways.

This example will probably make you cringe, At the weekend i went to my sisters house to look after my 1 1/2 year old neice as she was having a baby so i spent the night there to help her out, after a day and half there i came back home to a messy, filthy, stinking **** hole and to top it off i walk in to the bedroom and it stunk of piss he pissed my brand new bed and left it didnt even bother to clean it or wash the sheets, HE JUST LEFT IT!!!! so of course i flip out and says to me " why cant you do it" why the f**k should i...

This is what i find unbelievable - we havent slept in the same bed for weeks he is on the sofa and on the one night im not there he gets into my bed and pisses init.

So now i have seperated the place he has the living room and the bedroom is mine. Ive told him i find him repulsive and dont want to be with him or anything to do with him, i dont want him anywhere near me but still nothing changes, the only thing hes botherd about is MY laptop which he needs for his HGV licence exams but why should i give it him when he doesnt respect anything or anyone not even himself, because i havent givin it to him he says im childish im evil im vindictive blah blah blah and then threatens to wreck my car, What an Unbelievable f*****g C**T.

I would move out tomorrow but the realy stupid stupid thing is.. we signed a 3 year contract. We've only been here 6 weeks.

so much for thinking you know a person :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

Oh my god... You dont leave throw him out that has no respect for himself never mind you.. Get rid of him you keep the place best of luck

Mervenut

I think you should get out now! He's not going to change anytime soon, and if he has a major drink problem, which he seems to have why is he going for a HGV licence? That's seriously dangerous! Get away from him asap!

jordainius

Maybe tell the landlord about the boyfriends habit and he might be happy to tear up the lease? If I were renting a house to tenants I'd be delighted to see the back of a tenant who urinates anywhere other than in the toilet and doesn't bother cleaning it up.

As for the "boyfriend", get out, now, please. Expects you to clean up after him, threatens you, alcoholic, and arguments turning physical? Nobody should have to put up with that.

Merkin

Yep, I'd be telling the landlord sharpish that his tenant is an incontinent and violent drunk and it's not going to work out, I'd say he'll appreciate the heads up. You should also make a clean break, I wouldn't bother telling him where I've moved to either.

LittleBook

cjr12 wrote: »

What an Unbelievable f*****g C**T.

Indeed.

cjr12 wrote: »

I would move out tomorrow but the realy stupid stupid thing is.. we signed a 3 year contract. We've only been here 6 weeks.

It seems clear that you're fully prepared to break from your boyfriend, so the issue to be addressed is the lease/living arrangements.

Are both your names on the lease? CAN you afford the place on your own? Do you think he would leave?

If these are not options, there are ways and means to leave a fixed term lease, depending on the terms, the easiest of which is by mutual agreement with the landlord. As the others have said, contact the landlord and explain how his tenant is treating their house and furniture. I suspect they'd be glad to help you get rid of him.

Molloys Clondalkin

op a rented room will cost you around 400 euro a month have a look on daft for one.
When you find a place that you like and have the deposit etc take the room slowly start moving all your clothes etc into it and pick a day when he wont be there then take all the rest of your things. and change your phone number. dont agree to meet him for anything and I would recommend seeing a counselor so you dont lose faith in the human race. you are only finding out your boyfriend is an alcoholic it is a big shock and something you can not fix, you will be the victim for ever as long as you stay with him, he will try to tell you every story so you will stay with him, id even be suprised if he had the next rent oh and one more thing try to do the above before xmas all the booze around hat time of year will be a meltdown.

walshb

Mervenut wrote: »

You've been together 6 years, did you really not have any idea he was like this? I just don't understand how you had no inkling he was like this? You say you've never seen him sober, then why move in with him, I really don't understand how you couldn't see that this was coming?

I have to agree. Sorry, it's so mad that it sounds like a wind up.

Ickle Magoo

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LegacyUser

Firstly, your boyfriend is an alcoholic, not a heavy drinker or drinks too much he is an alcoholic, once you drink to the extent where he soils himself regularly and could not care as to whether he sleeps in it or not, then you have serious problems.

If you love him, confront him and tell him that he is one, if he gets defensive which he more than likely will then get friends and family members together for an intervention, failing this, then walk, you did try your best to help him if you attempted any of these, he should not only want to quit drinking for you and his family but he has want to stop drinking for himself, alcoholics are as well as other types of addictions selfish in what they do they don't intend to be but years of alcohol abuse changes you mentally, they don't see it looking from the outside in and what it does to others, you probably don't realise it but this is effecting you a lot lot more than you think and the longer you stay the worse it will get and subsequently effect you, I know its hard for you to watch this because all you want to do is help but if all else fails walk, money is only a bit of printed paper, your happiness and well being is something you can't buy or put a price on.

I say all this from experience, and an unsuccessful attempt at confrontation with a family member but that is not to say it will not work for. I hope it all works out for you I really do and I hope your other half sees what is going on and admits he needs help.

djimi

ANXIOUS wrote: »

For an apartment? Yes there is, simply walk away. You'll lose your deposit but that will be the end if it. I've never heard of anyone signing a 3yr lease.

If a tenant breaks a fixed term lease a landlord is legally entitled to persue a tenant for the full amount of the lease. Most wont bother with a 1 year lease and will just make do with keeping the deposit, but if we are talking about 34 months remaining on a 3 year lease then the landlord might just see that as being worth persuing.

Im not saying I disagree with you getting out of the place OP, but you need to tread carefully about how you do it.

ABajaninCork

OP. This is a disgusting situation for you. Are you able to afford the rent yourself? If you can, then just throw this loser out. No great loss there. I've been in your situation, and trust me you CANNOT fix this. It's not going to improve.

If you can't afford the rent yourself, can you find someone to re-assign the lease to? (with the landlord's agreement of course). You'll probably have to do the legwork in terms of finding the tenants and checking refs, but might be worth a shot?

Hope this helps!

Carriexx

Hi, within the 1st 6 months of a lease, tenant or landlord can break giving 28 days notice.
http://www.threshold.ie/advice/ending-a-tenancy/terminating-a-tenancy-by-a-tenant/
PLease leave this relationship, you are getting absolutely nothing from it!

djimi

Carriexx wrote: »

Hi, within the 1st 6 months of a lease, tenant or landlord can break giving 28 days notice.
http://www.threshold.ie/advice/ending-a-tenancy/terminating-a-tenancy-by-a-tenant/
PLease leave this relationship, you are getting absolutely nothing from it!

Not with a fixed term lease they cant. There is no legal way out of a fixed term lease unless the landlord has written a break clause into the lease.

Molloys Clondalkin

Hi op I hope your feeling better this week.
Id like to throw my 2cents into the landlord thing here while a lease was signed by you I wouldnt worry about having to stay there for 3 years with this guy.
You can either just walk away and change your numberthen the landlord has no way of contacting you and your ex will be left to sort his mess out on his own, or you could try to get him out and maybe rent out another room (if that is an option).

more than likely you will lose your deposit a small price to pay for your sanity.
and dont forget you have no obligation to try and help this guy all you will be doing is enabling him. He will try every trick in the book to get you to stay after all if you go he has to pay all the rent and that means less mney for booze for him.

whatdoicare

I would suggest having a chat with Threshold to see if they can help you or at the very least give you some advice. http://www.threshold.ie/

Explain your situation to them and see what they can suggest, then I'd have a word with your landlord. Explain the situation, including the murky parts, tell him you are afraid to live there and offer the deposit to pay for the mattress damage.
Maybe if you could line up people to replace you or this guy your landlord might be more willing to let it slide.

Whatever you do, get away from this guy, no matter what.

Best of luck, I really feel for you stuck in this horrendous situation.

djimi

If you want out of a fixed term lease then you need to first approach the landlord and ask them about reassigning the lease. With their concent, you then go and find a tenant to take over the lease, and if the landlord approves with the tenant (they dont have to; the new tenant is bound to the same critieria as you would have been) then the new tenant takes over the remainder of your lease.

If the landlord flat out refuses to a reassignment then you can legally break the lease and retain your deposit (or what remains of it after deductions).

Do absolutely everything in writing (registered letter); you need to have a proper evidence trail.