Emigrating - Stressed - Normal?

LegacyUser

And so I've more or less come to the decision of emigrating, for a better life for my son & I. My son's Mom lives in the States (ex-wife). Now that time is drawing near to going, is it normal to feel so stressed some days? Almost like panic attacks? Which makes me question what am I doing and doubt my decision. Something I don't need.

I guess the stress is brought on from leaving home, family, comfort zone, and going to the unknown...

I'm just curious to know if this feeling is normal in the build up to leaving? I feel we will both be better off going, more so for our son, but the stress is causing much doubt.

Maybe I just need reassurance?

ABajaninCork

Are you emigrating to the US or elsewhere?

Don't worry, it's normal to feel stressed and wonder whether it'll work. I moved here from the UK myself. I just comforted myself it wouldn't be too much of a stretch if I had to go back.

I find it better to break the whole event up into chunks. Like:

How am I going to get over
Getting somewhere to live
Letting people know I've moved
Spending a couple of weeks settling in and exploring my new home.

Doesn't seem so overwhelming then. Best of luck with your move and beyond. Don't forget to set up Internet when you arrive and get e-mailing and Skype-ing!

ABajaninCork

Wretched double post!!

banie01

+1 on Baja's advice!
I emigrated myself back in '99(Spent 4 yrs away) and looking back it was a fraught experience.
Worrying about whether or not it was the right thing to do?
Would I be able to cope?
Would I find work?
Would I be able to pick up the language?
And not to mention the stress I went through with worrying about what would happen if XYZ happened at home while I was away....
Would I be able to get home in time if someone got sick?
Was I bad person for ''abandoning'' my family?
And so many other incidental worries and stress points that honestly left me in an emotional wreck of a state for a while before I moved....
But then I realised that of course I was going to be stressed....
I was leaving the comfort zone, my little bubble where I knew how to cope and who to rely on...
But I was leaving for new experiences, new challenges and in the knowledge that if I applied myself...
I'd make new friends, a new life and new success, all while still having 'home' at the end of a phone(No skype when I went :P ) and if anything happened I could be home in a day.

Emigration is hard, but look at the positives.
If it is the States you are going to.
You will be closer to your son, you have an opportunity to be a bigger part of his life and whatever else happens that chance alone is worth taking a risk for.

That and you have the advantages of already knowing the language(1 less barrier to getting to know new people, although depending on where you are going Spanish could be handy too! haha) and along with the fact that although its a terrible cliché...
Travel really does broaden the mind, you learn so much more about yourself and your capabilities when you are living in another country/culture.
I won't say don't stress....because you will
But focus on the positives of going rather than why you shouldn't.

iusedtoknow

it is completely normal - i have emigrated twice now. Once as a single 22 year old to Spain (where I stayed for 6 years) and then a couple of months ago as a married 28 year old to the states. Both were nerve-wracking experiences for different reasons, however baja's advise is the top one - break it into phases to focus on, rather than one big thing.

I had an excel document with everything that needed done, and went through it - some could be knocked out in one swoop and others took time. It kept me focused on the task at hand rather than the "big thing" that is emigration. This was down to things like closing bank accounts, notifying everyone that needs notified (phone companies etc). I also had a similar list for things to do when I arrived.

It'll all be worth it - nerves are not always a bad thing. My wife's attitude was "a good kind of nervous" about the move.

LegacyUser

Thank you for your comments. It is the States. It's more leaving leaving family & comfort zone behind than worry of what I need to do beforehand and for when I arrive. And also worry of lonliness and regret.

Good advice though. Thanks