Moving closer to work but kids involved?

Hannaho

I moved for job, got bullied and the company which appeared great on the outside, was not at all financially secure. Now I travel to Dublin from Sligo 10 days a month. My family think we should move back to Dublin, but my kids hate Dublin and love living in the countryside and they both really like the primary school they attend, my family are here and take the kids if they are sick, and childcare is lots cheaper and more available. I am happy to commute for the next couple of years in the hope that I might get something down West again, but others think I'm mad. Just wondered what others opinions would be. Thanks.

Ellsbells

So who thinks you should move back?

Hannaho

My sister and friends in Dublin. I also get sheer amaement from work colleagues that I am travelling such a distance for work. I stay over 2 nights a month in Dublin most of the time, just to ease the burden of commuting. I seem to have to keep on explaining to people that my children are happier here than they ever were in Dublin, and can't bear to even visit Dublin now, but people (including my sister) still seem to expect me to move back to Dublin. Am I completely mad doing what I'm doing? My kids being happy and settled, and particularly so in school, has always been really important to me, more important than my own convenience, though there are also the travel expenses and wear and tear on my car which could aslo be a consideration.

jimmycrackcorm

There are plenty of people doing what you do during these recessionary times. I did it myself for three years commuting weekly. It's tough but doable. And the thing to remember is that it isn't forever. In your case it's better than most as it's ten days out of the month.

Frankly its no business of anyone other than your immediate family who seem to be happy so just ignore it.

LegacyUser

So when the kids are coming home from school miserable and upset, your sister& friends plan to be there to comfort them?
Or when they're bored/compaining at weekends, and want to get out of Dublin to go to the countryside, your sister and friends will take turns to drive them?
Of course not.
Obviously they're concerned for you, but if your happiness is based on your kids' happiness, then all is right in the world right now. Personally, I also think you've taken on a big sacrifice on your side re the commute, BUT, clearly it's paying dividends for your kids. Plus you yourself are in a more financially secure job, with no bullying!
It's unreasonable of your sister and friends to expect you to "have it all", the trade-off of the long commute is worth it imho.

Ellsbells

Did you post about this recently? Have they started at you again?

MissFlitworth

Why would you even consider doing something that would make you & your children unhappy just because other people think it would be better for you?

Hannaho

Hi! All, thanks for your comments.

My sister and family in Dublin are just concerned that the commute is too much for me, especially with frosty mornings and dark evenings in Winter, but my kids love country life. My son who was happy in Dublin even said he did not want to go back to a big school again, and my daughter aslo loves the small school. They have much more freedom in the country and are now involved in activities such as surfing (all summer), kayaking, and horseriding.

My sister is also concerned that if anyting were to happen to the kids while I was away working that I would be an hour and a half's drive away. My extended family live about 25 miles away from us in the country. I told my sister that there was a list of people that my childminder could call, or that my oldest child could call if there ever was an issue, and that these people have agreed to help out in any emergency. We also have wonderful neighbours who have collected the children from the school bus when the childminder was delayed and who they feel they could call into at any time.

I feel so torn in all directions! However, the job is great, no bullying, very easy going. I am so grateful to have it after what happened in my last job. There is a God!!

LegacyUser

If they are worried about you travelling on your own on sideroads and sliproads during bad weather conditions, fair enough. But 10 days a month travelling, to a job that you are enjoying, isn't too bad? Could you look into sharing transport with someone somewhere along the route?- there has to be someone in the same boat as you. Even if it halved your journey, you'd have company too.

okiss

You have to remember that no one can tell you how to live your life or make a judgement on what to do in a particular situation.
At the moment your children are happy with were they live and in school.
You have a job you like and the company treat you well.
The only part of your life which is not great is the commute but you do this 10 days a month and stay two nights a month in Dublin.
Your family may think life will be easier if you move back to Dublin.
You have a better quality of life when you not working at the moment.
Your children are happy in school and with where they live.
Also you have a good childminder and other good support when you or the children need it.
I would tell your family that you and you children are happy with the set up you have at the moment. I would explain that the children like the school they go to and you have good childcare in place. I would also tell them that you are happy in your job and you are not moving back to Dublin.
Most people I know have made sacrifices or are making sacrifices to have what they want in there lives. They know that doing this for a period of time will help get them a job, help build a home, bring up a family or achieve there own goals.

Big Bag of Chips

Are you happy with the way things are at the moment?

If you are, then that's your answer.

You shouldn't change anything major about YOUR life just to keep others happy.

I get the impression you allow them to think they have a right to an opinion on your life. They, of course, are entitled to an opinion, they are not entitled to force that opinion on you and make you feel like you are wrong to go against them.

Next time they start, tell them you are happy, your kids are happy and you don't want to hear them going on about it anymore.