Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Help Keep Boards Alive. Support us by going ad free today. See here: https://subscriptions.boards.ie/

Thinking of starting my own religion.

  • 29-10-2012 12:06PM
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,029 ✭✭✭✭


    A requirement to wear an unusual hat is definitely on the cards for my new religion (only for men though).

    The women of my religion will have to bake delicious cakes to honour our God.

    So, good folks of AH, any suggestions for my new religion?


«134

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,443 ✭✭✭SafeSurfer


    Another religion - just what the world needs.

    Multo autem ad rem magis pertinet quallis tibi vide aris quam allis



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,363 ✭✭✭stampydmonkey


    SafeSurfer wrote: »
    Another religion - just what the world needs.
    fight!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 654 ✭✭✭girl2


    Good luck with that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,653 ✭✭✭Ghandee


    That's me in the corner.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,724 ✭✭✭tallaghtmick


    Feck your religion! whatever you start im gonna post a letter on a door and start my own religion with Ian Paisley and hookers!


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,785 ✭✭✭9959


    A requirement to wear an unusual hat is definitely on the cards for my new religion (only for men though).

    The women of my religion will have to bake delicious cakes to honour our God.

    So, good folks of AH, any suggestions for my new religion?

    Yes. Keep it to yourself.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,264 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    Be unique, create one that is honest and has some morals.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    my religion would be "Just dont be a cunt"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,593 ✭✭✭Sea Sharp


    Tax evasion, nice!

    I want in!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,029 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    9959 wrote: »
    Yes. Keep it to yourself.

    I will make you a priest if you join.

    You will get a car, a house, and sex as perks of the job.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 241 ✭✭Equality


    It sounds like it could be quite profitable.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,724 ✭✭✭tallaghtmick


    I will make you a priest if you join.

    You will get a car, a house, and sex as perks of the job.

    Aren't they cracking down on that?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,283 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    Thinly veiled "I'm an atheist having a go at religion" thread.

    Instead of Darwin Awards, we could have Dawkins Awards.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,899 ✭✭✭✭BBDBB


    Can I be the first accolite to cause a division by misinterpreting your doctrine, engaging in a power struggle causing untold death and misery before setting up my own sect in a disused business park on the outskirts of a major connurbation?

    if not


    forget it


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,943 ✭✭✭smcgiff


    That your god told you it was your divine duty to shag all the female adherents.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,029 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    ejmaztec wrote: »
    Thinly veiled "I'm an atheist having a go at religion" thread.

    I'm not an atheist.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,696 ✭✭✭mark renton



    I will make you a priest if you join.

    You will get a car, a house, and sex as perks of the job.

    You looking to rehire for Jimmy Savilles former position?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,029 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    smcgiff wrote: »
    That your god told you it was your divine duty to shag all the female adherents.

    You know him? :eek:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,899 ✭✭✭✭BBDBB


    john47832 wrote: »
    You looking to rehire for Jimmy Savilles former position?


    perhaps he heard there was a small opening



    edit - Im going to hell :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,359 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    You'll have to have a hook to pull in the punters,such as eternal life,reincarnation or being transported to another planet.Good luck with your project Chuck.


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,473 ✭✭✭Wacker The Attacker


    ejmaztec wrote: »
    Thinly veiled "I'm an atheist having a go at religion" thread.

    Instead of Darwin Awards, we could have Dawkins Awards.


    I have no particular argument for or against religion but that guy is one of the smuggest c**ts alive


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,440 ✭✭✭✭El Guapo!


    Can we start a turf war with the Mormons? If so, I'm in.
    There'll be crying Americans and ripped backpacks everywhere.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,067 ✭✭✭Gunmonkey


    Your religion sounds ok.....but its no bowl of Special K.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭BrensBenz


    I tried that some time ago but, because of DIY and TV cookery shows, I couldn't keep it up. Some hints that might help you:
    • You'll need to write a manifesto / bible and it will have to include stuff like "do whatever I say or be doomed" and / or "do whatever I say and be rewarded with...." fill in whatever might appeal to your demographic;
    • It should include lots of unprovable "facts";
    • It will also help if you write in lots of ambiguity so that an industry, devoted to the interpretation of your words, will develop;
    • Good to get the government involved so that they can add civil legislation to back up your "commandments";
    • You'll also need a uniform. Don't worry about your lack of creative ability - the uniform is meant to look ridiculous;
    • Come up with some get rich quick schemes and link them to your "doomed" and / or "rewarded" laws;
    • Try to learn from the mistakes of others, e.g. Don't go to Jerusalem on a donkey, even if you're welcomed by thousands;
    • When you die, don't pass command to anyone who might eventually pass it on to dimwits.
    You're welcome.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,952 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    BrensBenz wrote: »
    [*]You'll need to write a manifesto / bible and it will have to include stuff like "do whatever I say or be doomed" and / or "do whatever I say and be rewarded with...." fill in whatever might appeal to your demographic;

    But you can make that up as you go along. Pretty much no-one turns up with it all ready.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,943 ✭✭✭smcgiff


    Religion forming 101

    It's essential to say you are the last prophet and no one after you can change your laws.

    This will separate you from some of the earlier amateur religions.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,952 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    And throw the word science in. Makes it sound modern and not at all superstitious.

    Like Christian Science
    http://christianscience.com/what-is-christian-science

    Or scientologists (who are a lovely group of people. No need to sue boards.ie)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,862 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    I have no particular argument for or against religion but that guy is one of the smuggest c**ts alive
    He took over the role when Christy Hitchens kicked the bucket.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,359 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    Can I begat someone?


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,375 ✭✭✭Sin City


    smcgiff wrote: »
    That your god told you it was your divine duty to shag all the female adherents.

    Sounds like the Catholic Church, just substitute female for child and bingo.


Advertisement