Moving into apt with girlfriend...HELP!!

readytorock

Hi all,

Need some advice here.
Myself and my girlfriend are taking the plunge and getting our first place together....a 2 bed 2 bathroom apt for rent(going for the extra room for extra space and a bigger apt overall).
In a nut shell my idea is that we share ie: closet space in main bedroom is shared along with en suite bathroom for our belongings etc.
All other bits we have I think shud go into the spare room.
She however wants us to have 2 separate bathrooms, our clothes and belongings in the two separate rooms but we sleep together in the same room.
This basically feels like a student accomodation to me as in everythings separate but my point is if we're moving in together its a joint sharing partnership.
HELP!!??

Sauve

Ah don't panic OP, all will be well

As a 'been there, done that' aul wan-
I can see her logic here to be honest, if she's anything like me she probably likes keeping her things neat and tidy and in their own spot, which will be easier if ye store in separate rooms. Same goes for bathroom, its a luxury not to have to share this either..

Dont take it as a sign that she's trying to put distance between you, I doubt that's the case at all. She just wants a little bit of the apartment that's hers- remember moving in with someone is a big and daunting step.

Let it go over your head, enjoy the fun and excitement of the next few months together and dont sweat the small stuff, it'll fall into place...

tinkerbell

OP, that to me is really weird. When you move in with someone, you move in. That means sharing a bathroom and closet space. I agree with you, it's really weird that she wants 2 separate bedrooms and 2 separate bathrooms, that's just ridiculous. I think that's just a really odd setup. If that's the case, ye are more house mates rather than anything more than that.

Ellsbells

We do that and we are normal

It's easier if you are organising to leave at the same time. It's really not a big deal.

readytorock

thanks for ur replies!!! but yeh exactly I feel like we'll almost be house mates almost and I really dont want that......aside from anything else if we have someone staying over in the spare room what do i do....do i have to wait till that person is up before i can get changed etc??? I understand its a daunting step as we both live at home currently but i feel like im ready to move in with her but i feel like she just wants to move out for her own space rather!? i hope im making sense so far but i really dont want to feel like we're under the same roof but have separate areas...bedroom/bathroom etc! I just cant seem to see where i meet her half way on this one!!!!???

Tar.Aldarion

Surely she will be the one waiting on the person in the spare room?

ash23

I can see why you think it's strange but I can also see why she wants to do it. I wouldn't mind the wardrobe but I hate sharing a bathroom with a boy. Well, even with my daughter to be honest.
Wee on the seat, poo smell lingering that isn't your own, stubble and toothpaste in the sink........ I prefer to know that the bodily fluids in the bathroom are my own. Makes it more tolerable somehow

Maybe she has a particular way of organising her clothes? Is she a very organised person usually?

I think, let her have her space if she wants it. It's a big adjustment living with someone and some people just need more space than others. However, she should be the one using the main bathroom and spare room for storage if she is the one who wants more space. You shouldn't be inconvenienced by it.

stargazer 68

OP I really think you are overthinking this. Do you realise how much 'stuff' we have - essential stuff! A girl could fill a closet in the main bedroom twice over with no problem and an ensuite is usually quite small. You are already deciding that this is a bad idea and you haven't even tried it yet. Get the 'housemate' idea out of your head and just go with it.

LittleBook

readytorock wrote: »

She however wants us to have 2 separate bathrooms, our clothes and belongings in the two separate rooms but we sleep together in the same room.

readytorock wrote: »

aside from anything else if we have someone staying over in the spare room what do i do

Ha, ha. I see what's going on here.

Frankly I would have no problem expanding to fit the space we have, no sense in a closet/bathroom space going to waste. But if your girlfriend wants to have a space of her own for dressing and getting ready in the mornings, she should use the facilities in the spare room/spare bathroom.

No-one should have to go out of their own bedroom/ensuite in the mornings if they don't want to.

Tell her that the ensuite and the main bedroom are for both of you and if she wants more space, she knows where to find it

Stench Blossoms

How much wardrobe space is in the main bedroom?

More often than not women will have more clothes then men. Her clothes plus your clothes will more than likely not fit in the one wardrobe anyway. I didn't share a wardrobe with my OH when we lived together for precisely this reason.

We also used separate bathrooms. My shower consisted of about 10 bottles of shampoo/conditioner/face wash/body scrub/shower gels etc. and he was actually happy that he had his own shower that just had 'the essentials'.

Just to add. He had the en-suite and wardrobes in the 'main' bedroom and I kept my stuff in the spare room and used the main bathroom.

Have you ever lived with a girlfriend before OP?

DaisyD2

Have you any idea how much "stuff" she might have? I can tell you I live alone in a two bedroom & both wardrobes & hot press are full of clothes & storage(xmas decs, linens etc), ensuite has my day to day stuff but main bathroom has spares & hairdryer etc (more space to move about). I've often wondered where I'd fit a man if one were ever to move in! But I know I wouldn't move into a 1 bathroom scenario.

Don't sweat this stuff although I wouldn't be letting her dictate that she gets master bedroom wardrobe & ensuite to herself.

If she want the extra space thats what the spare rooms for but a spare room, as you've pointed out also implies visitors so what does she think will happen if 1 of ye have all your bits in there & can't access it because a drunken friend unexpectedly stayed over so you'd no time to get tomorrows clothes out the night before?

woodchuck

I think the bedroom thing is a bit odd, but if you have two bathrooms anyway I think it's a good idea that you each have your 'own'. If nothing else it makes sense in terms of getting ready in the mornings, so neither of you are left waiting.

But how would the separate bedrooms work?! She says she wants to sleep in the same bedroom, but who sleeps in whos room? That sounds a bit messy to me. It might work for some people, but if you're not happy about it you need to discuss it with her. I would've thought you both share a bedroom and you can then use the spare room for any extra clothes that neither of you are currently using (eg store summer clothes in there during the winter).

To me it definitely sounds more like being housemates than a couple living together...

ElleEm

When my boyfriend and I moved in together first, our room was so cluttered and there was stuff everywhere!! My disorganised chaos caused a lot of arguements!

The house we live in now allows us both to have adequate storage space for our clothes, it just so happens to be in different rooms!

I can mess up the main bathroom with make up and have all my creams and stuff "displayed" and easy to hand, while the en- suite only has what it needs.

Your girlfriend will probably only use the spare room as a walk in wardrobe, and if she stores all her girly stuff in one bathroom, it means that you won't be fighting over whose turn it is to brush their teeth/ shower first!

You should be thankful for this.... it is most likely preventing arguements in the future. Wait til you see how much stuff she has in relation to yours, then you will understand!!!

Ellsbells

woodchuck wrote: »

But how would the separate bedrooms work?! She says she wants to sleep in the same bedroom, but who sleeps in whos room?

for their clothes!!!! they sleep in the same room but have their individual clothes in separate rooms.

woodchuck

Ellsbells wrote: »

for their clothes!!!! they sleep in the same room but have their individual clothes in separate rooms.

The OP mentioned clothes AND belongings in the separate rooms though. Extra wardrobe space in another room I can understand, but it sounds like she wants her own bedroom too. Living together as a couple involves sharing space. That's part of what it means to me anyway... if all of her 'stuff' (not just clothes; could be books, or whatever else has for any hobbies etc) are in another room she's much more likely to spend her time in that room and not in their 'shared' room.

If the separate room was to be made into a study, or studio, or art room etc I could understand. But from the sounds of it she wants to make it a second bedroom just for herself.

LegacyUser

Honestly don't find it odd that she wants her own bathroom. If your going to the effort of renting a two bedroom apartment then why not have it that way? Myself and my OH have a 3 bedroom but the 3rd bedroom is really just a box room so it's joint storage really, the bigger bedroom is 'our' sleeping room but it's mainly my clothes and crap thats in there and the middle size room is 'his' room for his computer, clothes, etc etc There is a bed in there but its mainly used as a couch to play computer games. It's never caused any issues, I'm welcome to go into 'his' room and play games with or without him, the big tv in the main bedroom and all the dvds are mine so we can either hang together and watch dvds or play video games or both do our own thing, it was the main reason we looked for a 2/3 bedroom over a 1 bedroom. The big main bathroom is his and the smaller en suit is mine. It works for us as it vastly reduces cleaning rows, you clean up after yourself in your space and it just leave the kitchen and hallways for us to clean once a week together. Also we both really just prefer to have our own bathroom spaces. If guests come they crash in his room and use the main bathroom and he uses the en suite or if it's either set of parents they get the big room and we crash in the smaller room. We've both ended up having clothes in all three rooms so it really hasn't been that big of an issue. I think you might be jumping the gun a little OP, see how the first few months go, you may find it works out and if it doesn't then have a sit down with your OH and explain what your having issue with but I wouldn't go dismissing her proposal right off the bat.

tinkerbell

ash23 wrote: »

I can see why you think it's strange but I can also see why she wants to do it. I wouldn't mind the wardrobe but I hate sharing a bathroom with a boy. Well, even with my daughter to be honest.
Wee on the seat, poo smell lingering that isn't your own, stubble and toothpaste in the sink........ I prefer to know that the bodily fluids in the bathroom are my own. Makes it more tolerable somehow

I find this a bit odd tbh. Whatever about sharing a bathroom with anybody else, it is completely different to sharing a bathroom with your partner / husband / spouse. I'm saying this since you specifically mention bodily fluids. Surely if you have a husband or boyfriend, you are in an intimate relationship which generally means you're having sex so you are sharing bodily fluids! So what difference is it by sharing a bathroom. Plus who cares about a poo smell? Unless your poo smells of roses (which I highly doubt) then you just need to get over it. Girls can stink up bathrooms too and can be just if not more messy than a guy. If there's a poo smell, either turn on the extractor fan, open a window or spray with one of those anti-smelly spray cans. And presumably girls brush their teeth so there will also be toothpaste in the sink and also girls shave their legs and so on so there will be bits of hair in the bath or whatever.

OP - regarding having someone staying over and waiting to get stuff out of the spare room. I suggest the following. Since your gf is making this ridiculous request, the master bedroom is for YOUR stuff and the ensuite is yours (since you can make the argument it'd be too small to store all her crap than compared to the main bathroom). You both then sleep in the master bedroom. She gets the spare room and main bathroom to house all her stuff. She cannot use your bedroom to house her stuff. When you have a guest staying over, they get her room (the spare room) and then she can see how ridiculous it is when she's looking to get a pair of shoes or something and realises they are in the guest room! Honestly I think this whole setup is mad. You either move in with somebody or you don't. Relationships are all about compromise, give a little, take a little. But if she wants separate bedrooms, well she can get the spare room then.

ash23

tinkerbell wrote: »

I find this a bit odd tbh. Whatever about sharing a bathroom with anybody else, it is completely different to sharing a bathroom with your partner / husband / spouse. I'm saying this since you specifically mention bodily fluids. Surely if you have a husband or boyfriend, you are in an intimate relationship which generally means you're having sex so you are sharing bodily fluids! So what difference is it by sharing a bathroom. Plus who cares about a poo smell? Unless your poo smells of roses (which I highly doubt) then you just need to get over it. Girls can stink up bathrooms too and can be just if not more messy than a guy. If there's a poo smell, either turn on the extractor fan, open a window or spray with one of those anti-smelly spray cans. And presumably girls brush their teeth so there will also be toothpaste in the sink and also girls shave their legs and so on so there will be bits of hair in the bath or whatever.

It was just a bit light hearted :rolleyes:

Given the choice I prefer my own bathroom for the reasons I gave. I prefer to know that my boyfriend won't smell my poo and I won't smell his. I am neater than he is so I prefer for him to deal with his mess and I'll deal with my own.
I prefer not having to clean the sink of his stubble and toothpaste before I wash my face etc etc. If there are two bathrooms I'll take one and he can deal with his own mess.
I never said girls weren't messy. In fact I mentioned I prefer not to share a bathroom with my daughter either.

I don't think it being my child or my OH makes the skid marks on the toilet or the splashes on the floor any more palatable to be honest.

ManOfMystery

I think you're overthinking this slightly OP.

I'm married, and my wife and I use wardrobes in separate bedrooms for storing clothes. It's handier to find things, it's more organised, and it's much quicker when we're both getting ready for work that we're not tramping over each other to get our stuff. I also keep my 'man drawer' (full of useless crap), computer bits & bobs, bookds & magazines, etc in that room most of the time.

We have one bathroom which we share, but are moving house soon and will have an ensuite and a full bathroom in our new house. At which point I'll imagine we'll just use them both separately to get ready in the morning as it will be quicker again.

These are just storage and convenience issues, nothing more. As long as you both still spend time together, sleep together, cuddle up on the sofa and do all the normal things that couples do ....................... then the use of separate rooms and bathrooms is only for convenience and should have no bearing at all on how your relationship is actually functioning.

Pippy1976

ManOfMystery wrote: »

I think you're overthinking this slightly OP.

Agreed! She wants to put her clothes in another room and wants to have a bathroom to herself... I'm not sure there's any problem there.

Also, you haven't moved in together yet so this may all turn out to be pie in the sky - she might realise that it's handier to have her stuff in the room she sleeps in or you might decide that yes, having her stuff in her own space is great. See how you go when you move in and stop trying to anticipate a problem.

There probably won't even be one.

strawberrytart

I live with my bf and we have our stuff in different rooms and if we had two bathrooms we'd def have separate bathrooms
I actually use the spare room for my stuff but thats because i get up earlier and it means i dont have to turn on the light to get my clothes etc in the morning.

Move in and see how it goes, i think once ye do, you'll see how practical it is to have it this way.

Best of luck with the move!

LegacyUser

i'm not sure why the girl's request is being touted as ridiculous or demanding or anything like that, jeeze louise people need to get some perspective in life sometimes.

different women have different amounts of clothes storage needs, different preferences of where they keep things, different comfort levels of bathing or shaving or waxing etc in front of their partners. it really doesn't matter what anyone on the internet thinks, all that matters are whether you and her are happy living together. where anyone keeps what is the least important thing in the world when it comes to living with someone, what's important is how you both adapt to the new situation and enjoy the new stage of yer relationship.

so what if she keeps her stuff in a different bedroom and you both sleep in the same bed? so what if she doesn't want to keep all her girly bathroom stuff in a different bathroom? things like that will seem so unimportant once you get into your groove after a few months and will more than likely change over time.

relax and enjoy it.

CathyMoran

My husband and I live in a 3 bed - we used to have one room for my stuff, one room for my husband's - that all changed when we had our two. We have separate bathrooms as both of us have medical conditions that mean that if we need to go to the toilet we have to go in a hurry. We are actually looking into getting another bathroom for our children.

I do not see the big deal in your girlfriends request.

cloud_dancer

I think this is a great idea on her part. Most women struggle to get their clothes/shoes/bags/coats into their own wardrobes never mind sharing with someone else. As for belongings like books etc, there's nothing wrong with keeping them in the spare room to stop it from cluttering up the main bedroom. I'm sure she will just choose what she is using, be it a book or whatever and bring it into the main room to enjoy it. No big deal. Same with the bathroom. I doubt it will be a case of "Oh you can't pee in there, that's my bathroom!". It's just a matter of women having tonnes more stuff than men and availing of the extra space for it. If you both need the bathroom in the morning it would be silly to have all the stuff in one bathroom letting the other one go to waste.

I bet if she didn't bring this up at all and put her stuff in the spare bedroom/main bathroom on arrival after a quick appraisal of the place, then it wouldn't be an issue because you'd realise that all of your stuff and her stuff aint fitting in one room. I lived with a bf in a one bedroom apartment and it was a nightmare because we didn't have enough room for both our stuff.

cloud_dancer

woodchuck wrote: »

But how would the separate bedrooms work?! She says she wants to sleep in the same bedroom, but who sleeps in whos room?

To me it definitely sounds more like being housemates than a couple living together...

The master bedroom is their room where they both sleep and do everything else a couple should do together. She just keeps her clothes/extra stuff in the spare room.

readytorock

thanks for all your help so far......well I spoke to herself but it didnt go so well! She was saying that shes very weird with her own personal space and she 'needs' to have all her clothes/possessions in one place. I'm thinking now that her objectives to move out are different to mine. She desperately wants to move out of her house for her own space and I want to move out of my own house but prob more to move in with my gf! I feel like ive opened a can of worms here and i feel like im finding out what she really wants from this move!?

woodchuck

cloud_dancer wrote: »

The master bedroom is their room where they both sleep and do everything else a couple should do together. She just keeps her clothes/extra stuff in the spare room.

It just sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. If they're sleeping in the same room she'll naturally end up having her stuff there (at the very least a full bedside locker, and other things will sneak in; warmer/lighter pairs of PJs, dressing gown, slippers, moisturisers etc). So why the need for the extra room all to herself? It just sounds a bit selfish in my opinion. OP you could both manage to fit your day to day stuff in the one room and any extra/nonseasonal clothes could go into the spare room. You could both share both rooms. Otherwise it sounds like she'll have one bedroom all to herself and half of the shared bedroom, and all the OP will have is half of the shared bedroom and no use of the 'spare' bedroom...

Although I do agree that perhaps the whole situation is being blown out of proportion. I suggest try it one way and see what happens organically. She may find it a pain switching between rooms and end up in the same bedroom as you. Or if you're both sharing the bedroom for everything maybe you'll decide that actually it's better if you both have different rooms for clothes/changing etc. I guess just go with the flow, but make sure nothing is set in stone (if you give up the spare bedroom you may never get it back :P)

woodchuck

readytorock wrote: »

She was saying that shes very weird with her own personal space and she 'needs' to have all her clothes/possessions in one place.

Well if she's been living at home up until now, then by default of course she'll have needed to have had all of her stuff in the one place... her bedroom! When we're living with our parents, the rest of the house is naturally 'their' space and the only personal space we feel like we have is in our own bedroom. Maybe try to get her to see that she doesn't need a bedroom to herself because she will have the whole apartment to herself! And I mean that in the sense that obviously the two of you will have the apartment to yourselves. But it's an entirely different dynamic than living with your parents. Maybe try to get her excited about ways to make the whole apartment a nice place to live in? A trip to ikea together for example... they've loads of cheap stuff for brightening up the place If you're buying things for the sitting room and kitchen together for example, she'll soon see that 'her' stuff is already all over the apartment and hopefully won't be obsessed over keeping everything in the one room.

Sorry, I hope I'm making sense there!

Obviously though you do need to make sure that you're on the same page about what you both want. That she's moving to live with you and not just to move out of home.

Ellsbells

readytorock wrote: »

I feel like ive opened a can of worms here and i feel like im finding out what she really wants from this move!?

I think you are really, really over thinking this to the point of ruining it. Are you secretly having second thoughts?

It makes sense to have all your stuff organised and in one place. I also think the master bedroom is for ehem 'private' hobbies and not a place to park your bike / easel / x box / knitting.

iusedtoknow

this is a bit of weird one alright, but not unusual. We have a two bedroom as well, and the spare wardrobe is used for winter clothes in Summer (and vice versa in winter) and spare duvets etc, but it is pretty clear that it is a guest/spare room that neither of use on a day to day basis.

The only thing I can say is that if this is her first time out of home, there will be a readjustment period to understanding about sharing an apartment with a partner. I think it probably takes most couples a bit of time to find their groove in the whole thing. Also, there are no "proper" way to do things, so if you do find that it works for you as a couple, and doesn't get into the way of your other couple activities, then there probably isn't too much harm.

LegacyUser

i also think you're overthinking things to the point of ruining it. and to be honest i think it's less acceptable for someone to say 'you must have issues with moving in with me and not be as serious about this as i am cause you won't put all your stuff in the same room as all my stuff'' than it is for her to say ''i'd like a bit of my own personal space and have all my things where i need them''.

personally op, i think you're coming across as insecure and maybe a bit naiive as to how couples can have different dynamics. not couple in the world is the same as every other couple in the world.

besides, you haven't even moved in yet have you? so you don't know the dynamic of how things will even out and flow as time goes on. chill.

Neyite

Dont move in together. If you are both this particular and uncompromising over whose stuff goes where to the point you have had 2 arguments about it before you have even got the keys to your new love nest, then neither of you are ready to live together as grown ups.

Living as a couple requires compromise and treating the other as an adult. I would never dictate to my partner where he can and cannot put his stuff in a place we both pay for, and I would not accept it from him either.

If she likes all her clothes/shoes/accessories in the one dressing area, and all her toiletries to hand in the one bathroom without having to have a naked dash from one to the other in the morning, then whats the problem?

Its a concern that you feel where she puts her personal items is somehow a reflection on her commitment to you. The only thing a couple moving in together should be thinking about is how to christen all the rooms of their new home.

readytorock

Neyite wrote: »

Dont move in together. If you are both this particular and uncompromising over whose stuff goes where to the point you have had 2 arguments about it before you have even got the keys to your new love nest, then neither of you are ready to live together as grown ups.

Living as a couple requires compromise and treating the other as an adult. I would never dictate to my partner where he can and cannot put his stuff in a place we both pay for, and I would not accept it from him either.

If she likes all her clothes/shoes/accessories in the one dressing area, and all her toiletries to hand in the one bathroom without having to have a naked dash from one to the other in the morning, then whats the problem?

Its a concern that you feel where she puts her personal items is somehow a reflection on her commitment to you. The only thing a couple moving in together should be thinking about is how to christen all the rooms of their new home.

Hi, thanks for the advice.
So what do I do now? I feel like i've seen a completely different side to her over this issue when i really didnt expect it to be a big issue. I definately didnt want to dictate what she could and couldnt do....thats not me at all, but I can see how shes perceiving as that! The overriding problem I have is this. She wants to have her bathroom and her bedroom thus leaving me with my own bedroom and my own bathroom....she says then we can sleep together in the same room at nite(which will be like sleeping in her room if u get me?)
I just think itll be 2 people sharing an apt as boyf/girlf but living separately....help and advice needed

Thanks

SheFiend

You won't be living separately

Your clothes will be separate from hers.
You won't wash or toilet in the same bathroom.

There's a lot more to living with someone than sharing closet space and bathroom.

I think you should let her keep her stuff in her own room if she wants...

BUT...

She should have to take the spare room. You should move into the better room, and that's where the two of you should sleep. So the two of you will have moved in together, she'll just be keeping some of her things in a separate room so that she has a bit of private space.

If she's expecting to take the room that the two of you will be spending time in, and making you keep your stuff in a separate room, then I'd agree it would feel like you were more of a guest in the room and I'd understand why you'd be miffed.

Ellsbells

How in the name of god are you turning this into a flat sharing situation. I assume you are sharing a sitting room and kitchen where you will spend most of your waking hours. Are you looking for excuses to backtrack out of moving in?

LegacyUser

readytorock wrote: »

Hi, thanks for the advice.
So what do I do now? I feel like i've seen a completely different side to her over this issue when i really didnt expect it to be a big issue. I definately didnt want to dictate what she could and couldnt do....thats not me at all, but I can see how shes perceiving as that! The overriding problem I have is this. She wants to have her bathroom and her bedroom thus leaving me with my own bedroom and my own bathroom....she says then we can sleep together in the same room at nite(which will be like sleeping in her room if u get me?)
I just think itll be 2 people sharing an apt as boyf/girlf but living separately....help and advice needed

Thanks

My parents have different bedrooms, have had for all of their marriage I never though they weren't married or didn't care about each other. They tend to sleep together in my 'mums' room but theres the odd time my dad will sleep in the other room, they did it because my mum worked nights when they first started living together and it was driving my dad mad being woken up and vice versa but even though they both are retired now they just got use to having their own space. There are lots of reasons people like having a set space thats theirs from having partners that snore or move alot in their sleep to working different hours and not wanting to wake the other one up to some people just liking having some space. I don't think it's any reflection of the quality of peoples relationship if they aren't on top of their OH all the time.

Most people I know who start living together and have extra space end up having one partner take over that space be it for clothes or as a space for them to watch tv/play video games when their OH wants to watch or play something different and if there's two bathrooms one just ends up being used more by one person and just de facto becomes 'theirs'. I think your way over thinking this TBH....your OH might have worded better for sure but what exactly were you planning to do with the extra room? I mean you looked for a 2 bedroom to have that extra space, what was it going to be for? Storage?

I would re-consider moving in together if this is your reaction to this as your not ready but seriously OP stop reading into things and give it a try, you might find it's not the massive issue your making it.

Stavro Mueller

Wow. You're doing everything in your power to ruin this before it even gets started. I bet your gf is wondering what sort of man you are too with the way you're going on. I think you're being a bit neurotic to be honest. The way you're explaining this here, you'd swear the pair of you were planning to spend your time holed up in your separate rooms. Can you not just think of your girlfriend's room as a walk in closet or something? There are people out there who have effectively turned their box room into an overspill from the wardrobe. Not to mention couples who've sort of evolved into a his and hers bathrooms scenario. It's possible your girlfriend is a bit of an OCD neat freak and if that's the case, it could save on a lot of rows.

StillWaters

I think you are being a bit controlling here. It's healthy that your GF values her space, and has made the very sensible suggestion that as you are paying for a 2 room place, you use that space to accommodate her clothes and stuff. I would love a bathroom to myself, I think most women would should one be available.

It sounds like this is the first move for you out of your parental homes, so of course your GF is relishing the idea of her own space. This is not a reflection on you or your relationship despite you doing your damnest to make it one.

Taltos

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Taltos

woodchuck

Wow, why is everyone being so harsh on the OP?!

Until I read all the other responses here I also would've considered it the norm for a couple to share the one bedroom!!

OP you should just try to talk to each other calmly and openly about this. It's not worth having a fight over and like I said, you both might see things differently when you're actually living together. I think you'll just need to wing it a bit and see what naturally works well for the both of you!

Colonel Panic

It makes sense to use a spare room as overflow for both of your stuff, but not as a way to move in together while not moving in together.

tiny_penguin

I moved in with my OH 2 weeks ago and we have a 2 bedroom place and we do this with the wardrobes. We share the ensuite as its a better shower, but if they were the same we would prob have one each too. It was actually his suggestions but it makes a lot of sense. Even though all my clothes are in our bedroom, its still ours - we go in every night and go to sleep.He has some stuff in there, in his bedside locker and such. And the spare room has his clothes and his home office but I have all my hair styling equipment in there so I dont wake him in the morning. so that feels like mine too.

As someone else mentioned its different to a houseshare (ive been in lots of those) as the whole place is both of yours. We spend most of our time in the sitting room/kitchen and I think thats the most important place to have a mixture of both your stuff. All our books/dvds and photos and stuff are in there. We cook together, chill out together and thats really what makes it our place. Neither of us sleeping the spare room - our bedroom is our bedroom and thats it.

I wouldnt get bogged down by it- when you actually move in you will sort stuff like this out and make the place both of yours in a way you are both happy with!