Lack of sexual experience holding me back

LegacyUser

Hey boardsies,

Early 20's, have only had sex with my ex and it wasnt exactly mind blowing.
There have been occasions where I could have had one night stands etc but I find that I dont go for it because I feel so inexperienced and embarrassed about the fact that I am so inexperienced. I would presume the guy would think I'm somewhat experienced which makes me nervous and not go for it.
I feel like I'm missing out and my inhibitions about sex are holding me back from going further with guys..
Is this normal? Anyone have any ideas how I can overcome this or is it something I should be worried about?

ariescutie30

sexafraid wrote: »

Hey boardsies,

Early 20's, have only had sex with my ex and it wasnt exactly mind blowing.
There have been occasions where I could have had one night stands etc but I find that I dont go for it because I feel so inexperienced and embarrassed about the fact that I am so inexperienced. I would presume the guy would think I'm somewhat experienced which makes me nervous and not go for it.
I feel like I'm missing out and my inhibitions about sex are holding me back from going further with guys..
Is this normal? Anyone have any ideas how I can overcome this or is it something I should be worried about?

You've remained respectable this long..and a man will appreciate this..

LegacyUser

I would say a huge majority of guys will respect that u hav'nt slept with a load of others.. don't worry about experience, it will come in time!

Hardonraging

ariescutie30 wrote: »

You've remained respectable this long..and a man will appreciate this..

The catholic church called, it wants it's advice back ..

If you're nervious about what people thing in general you'll never get anywhere, or get anything in life that makes you happy.

Focus on your self for a while, if you want to have a few ons then do, but dont just "lie there" use those experiences as a learning experience for you to gain confidence in what you are doing and what makes you happy.

You dont have to loose any respect for your self, in the process, go at your own pace.

There's several other point's i could touch on in relation to masturbation, knowing your own body etc, but i'll end on a simple one, ONS's are all great fun, but you may want to look at something a little more regular, something you can build on, and learn from.

shalalala

I have had sex with two men. Both in relationships. I was so nervous sleeping with my OH. I thought that he would know straight off that I had only slept with one other person. He didn't.

Months from then, we had the number talk. He couldn't place whether I was at 1 or 100. When it works with the person it just works. Do what feels good and feels natural to you and it should just flow.

I actually sometimes still feel nervous when sleeping with the OH and it has been a year! Nerves are natural and normal. Just enjoy yourself!

sexafraid

sexafraid wrote: »

Early 20's, have only had sex with my ex and it wasnt exactly mind blowing.

Is this normal? Anyone have any ideas how I can overcome this or is it something I should be worried about?

I had a boyfriend once who had only had sex with two other very short term girlfriends and was so self-conscious about sex that he felt he had to warn me beforehand that he wasn't very good. Turns out it was his nerves holding him back and he was actually very good once I got him to relax. But it took quite a while to convince him to calm down about it.

To be honest I don't think you're going to get very far with one night stands if you're already nervous. It'd be better to look for something where you can work up to sex, get comfortable with being in intimate situations first, and then be more confident during sex.

With sex, the worst thing you can do is nothing. Be responsive, show you're enjoying it, and work up to a point where you're comfortable with being a bit more adventurous and making it clear what you like.