Very down

LegacyUser

Hi All,

Going unreg for this one.

I feel so very down. My family and I find ourselves in a bad yet probably familiar situation. We bought a house in 2008 which is costing us 2k a month in mortgage payments which we can't meet, so are in 'an arrangement' with the bank.

Plus we have an apartment which is 100k plus in arrears which moved out of in 2008, and with all that was going on at the time with moving house and moving jobs we said we'd wait a year to sell. By the time the year was up the @rse had fallen out of the market.

I have a great job and so does my wife (allowing her to work part-time to look after our daughter). But each month we barely have enough to live on. Each week I deal with 4/5 calls from various creditors on personal loans and credit cards.

We've met with MABS and in turn from that have met with a personal insolvency specialist. So we have 2 choices - walk away from house and home, quit our jobs and move up North and declare bankrupt OR wait for this personal insolvency bill, go through that and live like paupers for 7 years. The personal insolvency route at least lets you keep your home and writes off the negative equity on the family home.

I've kept positive for so long, basically managing all of the financial issues and keeping my wife and her family up to date (as they have a stake in the apartment) knowing that we're trying our best, but this morning I woke up thinking this totally sucks and we haven't done a whole lot to deserve it. I'm actually worth more to my family dead than alive with our life insurance!

If it was for my wife and daughter I definitely wouldn't be typing this.

I know there's nothing none of you guys can do but I honestly don't know if I can go on.

Hopefully it's just a blue day and tomorrow I'll return to my battling self.

Thanks for reading
GW

Mighty_Mouse

If it was me I would quit & move north.
I would back myself to start again from scratch.

Job & house does not = life.

LegacyUser

OP, no way are you worth more to your family dead than alive with life insurance.
You mean more to your daughter& wife than a bank balance at the end of the month.
And no life insurance policy will pay out if you take your life. So by not being around, you'd be leaving them worse off BOTH emotionally& financially.
Could your wife work full-time to bring in more income?
Could her family, part-shareholders in the apartment, meet the bank/shoulder some of the burden also?
Re NI versus ROI living for the next few years, don't get overly consumed with keeping your existing house. It's only bricks and mortar. No point having it if you're completely stressed out paying for it, and if you can barely afford to heat/run/maintain it. If you're happy making the sacrifice for the house, work away. But don't let it drive you to breaking point...it's only a house, your family must be your first priority.

LegacyUser

If you are unwilling to move to the North or the Uk to start again you will have to wait for the personal wait for this personal insolvency bill to go through.
When you went to MABS did they contact your creditors and tell them that you can pay x amount a month and to have the interest charges frozen on your debits?
Have you been making a payment to your creditors beside the mortgages?
At this stage you need to think of how you can save money or make some extra money.
a) If you have 2 cars could you manage with one
b) use the budget planner on the nca.ie website and put in all your expenses to see were you are spending money and to find out were you could save money
Look also at The Economiser section were they compare your spending to other people in similar size households which may show where you can save money.
c) If you have health insurance look up the hia website to get better value plan or change over to one of the cash plans which will pay some money towards medical costs ( this is not health insurance)
d) Could you rent out your home and move in with family for 12 months which could cut your expenses?
e) Have you a room you could rent out in your home as you can earn €10k a year doing this with out having to pay tax on this income.
f) If you have a mobile phone look at the cost your paying a month and see if you can go on a better plan or get pay as you go phones.
e) Plan your meals, bring a lunch to work and go shopping with a list. Shop in Aldi as your money will go further. Also work out what you are spending with you buy a lunch at work, a newspaper or coffee each day as you could be spending a lot of money this way.
f) Go through your wardrobe and ask your wife to do the same. If you have good quality clothes you have not worn in a while put them up on ebay. A lot of woman are doing this now to have some extra money.
I was in debt once myself so I know what you are going through but I found a few of the above things helped me out.
At this stage you should look at going to the north or the uk and see if you could both get work there and start again. You will have a number of rules to follow if you go down this route and you need to be aware of them. It will be hard for you to open a bank account ect. I would seek legal advice before going down this route.
Good Luck and I hope this has been of some help to you.

LegacyUser

Thanks all for the responses, they've been very helpful.

Sat down with the wife for a chat and we talked it through and have decided we're going to move up North, short term pain for long term gain. Spoke to my employer too and they're will to let me continue to work for them as a UK based consultant so that's a bit less hassle.

Like you've said it is only bricks and morter and thankfully our daughter is too young to remember any of this stuff.

Answering some of the questions, we both bring lunch boxes to work, draw up shopping lists and shop in Aldi already. I've launched the economiser off the NCA.ie so will be interesting to see what our spending is like. To be honest I'm not expecting much news as BOI and other creditors have reviewed our financial statement and haven't raised any red flags as to exorbitant spending. We are really trimming it back and can't do much more. We've worked out the impact of my wife working a full week and with petrol costs, increased creche costs, the current working week maximes our income.

That's really what's brought us to this point, it's too much and we need to stop or one of us will break, so I'm feeling much more positive now we have a route chosen.

Again thanks for your replies and fingers crossed the next 2 years means a much less stressful 'rest of life'