How to forget about things

TeddyTedson

I feel alright myself now, thankfully. But there have been a few times over the last few weeks where I think I'm just going to implode.
Just wondering how people deal with that sort of crap.
I good session in the gym can do it I find, or training at whatever sport.
Sometimes I just want to get out of my head but can't. Alcohol can do it I guess but probably just adding fuel to the next fire.
A psychologist or psychiatrist perhaps, but I couldn't see myself going to one personally. I wouldn't feel comfortable. The things in your mind you just wish you could delete, surely there's away to take your mind off them if even temporarily excluding alcohol and recreational drugs?

Do any of the senior boardsies have good advice for this.

Merkin

A good sex session normally works wonders

0066ad

What are you trying to forget?

Birneybau

Drink or head trauma or both

uberalles

Imagine the person giving you trouble as very small. Then put them in a box and close the lid. Another one is to put a glass Pyrex bowl over them, that shuts them up. They still jump around but you can't hear them.

Try that op

TeddyTedson

0066ad wrote: »

What are you trying to forget?

Just stressful things that sometimes take over your mind, if you know what I mean... (or am I bat **** crazy, I hope not)

TeddyTedson

uberalles wrote: »

Image the person giving you trouble as very small. Then put them in a box and close the lid. Another one is to put a glass Pyrex bowl over them, that shuts them up. They still jump around but you can't hear them.

Try that op

I will try that! Thanks

Pherekydes

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Do any of the senior boardsies have good advice for this.

Wait until you turn 50. You'll start a thread on how to remember things.

KKkitty

If you have a good friend talk to them about what's going on and preferably a friend who won't sugar coat the advice. I've had mental health issues on and off since my teens and now that I'm 31 it has slightly improved but it's like I'm just waiting for the next bump in the road. I've turned to drink and drugs which didn't help but it was a temporary measure.

TeddyTedson

Pherekydes wrote: »

Wait until you turn 50. You'll start a thread on how to remember things.

Ah 50s the new 40 as they say:D

batistuta9

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I feel alright myself now, thankfully. But there have been a few times over the last few weeks where I think I'm just going to implode.
Just wondering how people deal with that sort of crap.
I good session in the gym can do it I find, or training at whatever sport.
Sometimes I just want to get out of my head but can't. Alcohol can do it I guess but probably just adding fuel to the next fire.
A psychologist or psychiatrist perhaps, but I couldn't see myself going to one personally. I wouldn't feel comfortable. The things in your mind you just wish you could delete, surely there's away to take your mind off them if even temporarily excluding alcohol and recreational drugs?

Do any of the senior boardsies have good advice for this.

if you just carry on doing normal things you'll forget about stuff

that's whats happening when you go to the gym or training - you're just doing normal things, they're not magically erasing anything from your mind

whatever you're thinking about will probably come back now & again, usually if you're bored or that but over time this will get less frequent

humbert

I see it like a scary movie or a roller coaster. Just remember to hold on tight and before long it will be over, you'll feel better and the rest of the world will be there waiting for you.

TeddyTedson

batistuta9 wrote: »

if you just carry on doing normal things you'll forget about stuff

that's whats happening when you go to the gym or training - you're just doing normal things, they're not magically erasing anything from your mind

whatever you're thinking about will probably come back now & again, usually if you're bored or that but over time this will get less frequent

This is completely a genuine hypothetical situation now but imagine you witnessed a murder or something traumatic as a child though and you went years without thinking about it and then it started playing on your mind and started messing up your head. How could you stop it?

shopaholic01

TeddyTedson wrote: »

This is completely a genuine hypothetical situation now but imagine you witnessed a murder or something traumatic as a child though and you went years without thinking about it and then it started playing on your mind and started messing up your head. How could you stop it?

You really would need professional counselling to deal with a traumatic memory that has been repressed for years.

1ZRed

For me it's swallow it down, drink a bit more, and it gets easier.

KKkitty

There are some things that you will never be able to wipe from your memory. For me some stuff that I experienced cloud even my happiest moments. Life isn't always fair or goes the way you want but we're only human and we have emotions that can overwhelm us from time to time.

shopaholic01

1ZRed wrote: »

For me it's swallow it down, drink a bit more, and it gets easier.

You are talking about memories ........... aren't you, Redzer?

dodderangler

0066ad wrote: »

What are you trying to forget?

Trying to forget why he started this thread

mikom

6-1
Never forget.......

1ZRed

shopaholic01 wrote: »

You are talking about memories ........... aren't you, Redzer?

Very cheap shot

Could've cum up with something better to stick me with tbh! :rolleyes:

ejmaztec

Don't people join the French Foreign Legion to forget anymore?

TheBoss!

The more you try and not think about something, the more you will think about it. Like, if you lie in bed and try and not think about Yellow Mini Coopers, ALL you will think about is Yellow fcuking Mini Coopers ripping around your head. So, what you really have to do, is make a decision about that stuff that's on your mind.

Can you change it, do you need to do something or are you powerless over whatever the fcuk it is. Once you decide that and stick to it, it will all stop buzzing round your head. Trying not to think of something you haven't made a final decision on is fruitless though, as that is why it's bugging you.

If it's stuff you feel guilty about, fcuk that noise. Unless you have killed one of your neighbours and buried them under the patio, life is too short to be worrying about crap. Not a sin to make a mistake, just not to learn from it. Oh and wear lots of suncreen.

WoollyRedHat

uberalles wrote: »

Imagine the person giving you trouble as very small. Then put them in a box and close the lid. Another one is to put a glass Pyrex bowl over them, that shuts them up. They still jump around but you can't hear them.

Try that op

Classic Sabrina Spellman solution.

Queen-Mise

Are these the thoughts when you are randomly doing something like making a cuppa or brushing your teeth and these horrid thoughts/memories from the past jump into the brain?

These are the bane of my life at the moment - I call my ones 'fcuking eejit' memories - they invariably make me feel like an idiot. I have been aware of them for a good while. Sometime soon, I am going to find a psycho-therapist, to teach me a method of dealing with them or stopping them. There is obviously some sort of chain reaction going on somewhere, but I can't see it.

TeddyTedson

shopaholic01 wrote: »

You really would need professional counselling to deal with a traumatic memory that has been repressed for years.

What would they do though. Just talk about it with you or do they have ways of wiping it from your mind?

1ZRed

TeddyTedson wrote: »

What would they do though. Just talk about it with you or do they have ways of wiping it from your mind?

I think it's more along the lines that they help you approach and deal with it. I doubt you'd ever forget, but you'd make your peace with it and then move on.

TheBoss!

TeddyTedson wrote: »

What would they do though. Just talk about it with you or do they have ways of wiping it from your mind?

Depends on the shrinks. I'd suggest these might be what you're looking for:

http://tinyurl.com/8dq374o

shopaholic01

TeddyTedson wrote: »

What would they do though. Just talk about it with you or do they have ways of wiping it from your mind?

I'm not exactly sure, Teddy. Get you to talk about it, acknowledge your feelings and help you to deal with your emotions (anger, guilt etc)?

If you have suppressed a memory it means that you were unable to deal with your emotions at the time, if the memory resurfaces you need to deal with it or it will always be an issue. Maybe try the PI forum. I think there is a psychology forum too - try that or PM one of the mods.

TeddyTedson

TheBoss! wrote: »

Depends on the shrinks. I'd suggest these might be what you're looking for: http://tinyurl.com/8dq374o

What's this? I know it's MiB but I've never seen it.

Queen-Mise

TeddyTedson wrote: »

What would they do though. Just talk about it with you or do they have ways of wiping it from your mind?

Depends on the type of counselling - they are as many different flavours of counselling as they are... sweets (not being flippant). Not all counselling is the same & they can be a huge difference in the training that different kinds have e.g. 2 years versus 7 years.

Something like CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) - is a two way street of work, with the therapist giving you homework essentially, and teaching you how to work with your mind.

Whereas the counselling in something like Rape Crisis Centre or 1 in 4 - is entirely client (humanist) based. It goes at the client's pace - if the client takes 5 years to get to the crux of a problem that is ok.


I think the general point of counselling et al - is that it takes the power away from the memory.

Go over to the counselling/psychology/psychotherapy forum - and ask some of the people there the process. They are the best ones to explain what counselling/therapy is.

batistuta9

TeddyTedson wrote: »

This is completely a genuine hypothetical situation now but imagine you witnessed a murder or something traumatic as a child though and you went years without thinking about it and then it started playing on your mind and started messing up your head. How could you stop it?

personally i don't know

i'd try doing as i said before & just continue with doing what i you usually do, if it doesn't get any better try something else

maybe try talking to someone about it & if the both of them didn't help it. I'd have to go and try something different again

which could be a psychiatrist or, maybe just even a doctor but i'd rather not rush into taking meds. or that unless i needed to

but all that depends on the level of the problem

for you i'd keep doing whatever takes your mind off it, but it depends on how much exactly you're getting effected by it. If you're being effected nearly all the time you're awake, going for a 2 hour work out isn't a whole load of help & you might want to start thinking about another option

no one here will actually know, even if they've experienced something like you said, as what works for one person isn't guaranteed to work for another

Queen-Mise

TeddyTedson wrote: »

What's this? I know it's MiB but I've never seen it.

It is the 'mind blanker' thingy. They used it to wipe people's minds when they had seen aliens.

Wompa1

Throw yourself into your work. Everybody has skeletons in their closet, your legacy will be determined by how you overcome adversity. Don't let it dictate your actions in life

TeddyTedson

shopaholic01 wrote: »

I'm not exactly sure, Teddy. Get you to talk about it, acknowledge your feelings and help you to deal with your emotions (anger, guilt etc)?

If you have suppressed a memory it means that you were unable to deal with your emotions at the time, if the memory resurfaces you need to deal with it or it will always be an issue. Maybe try the PI forum. I think there is a psychology forum too - try that or PM one of the mods.

In don't think I'd be capable of walking into a psychiatrists tbh. That was a hypothetical situation, I was just wondering.

Surely though back in the stone age days people would have had ways of not caring about such things and gotten over them. There would be no need for counseling?

TeddyTedson

What do most people do to forget about everything.
Go on a holiday I guess and just keep busy?

shopaholic01

TeddyTedson wrote: »

In don't think I'd be capable of walking into a psychiatrists tbh. That was a hypothetical situation, I was just wondering.

Surely though back in the stone age days people would have had ways of not caring about such things and gotten over them. There would be no need for counseling?

Less complicated time - smaller social groups, no religion, no morals imposed by society etc.

Queen-Mise

TeddyTedson wrote: »

In don't think I'd be capable of walking into a psychiatrists tbh. That was a hypothetical situation, I was just wondering.

Surely though back in the stone age days people would have had ways of not caring about such things and gotten over them. There would be no need for counseling?

There always was counselling - but called by different names. And the stone age comment is a back handed insult to yourself... Be careful - pressure like that on the brain is exhausting & hard to cope with. And then when it goes, it is like as if it was never there, until the next time.

A psychiatrist wouldn't be really what you are need probably - as they prescribe drugs, and rarely counsel per se. Start with your doctor or go over here http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=604 on boards.

marcsignal

Merkin wrote: »

A good sex session normally works wonders

I agree, and it's even better if you have company.

Failing that, there's always alcohol and drugs..

SomeFool

The Roy Keane method, a long walk talking to the dog.

Queen-Mise

SomeFool wrote: »

The Roy Keane method, a long walk talking to the dog.

Ah no - it obviously didn't work. Try it with the cat :D:D:D

Spread

I drink to forget. And then I forget to stop. Alles Klar TeddyBoy!

Dangerous Man

TeddyTedson wrote: »

What do most people do to forget about everything.
Go on a holiday I guess and just keep busy?

If you can, go speak to a psychologist - or if you're not comfortable with that try talking to someone with whom you are comfortable.

Don't use alcohol as it will only exacerbate your situation.

trodsky

I usually get hammered

JuliusCaesar

It's a psychologist's job to make people comfortable enough to talk about extremely personal stuff.

However, there are some self-help options included over in 604 (Science >Psychology) - have a look at this.

TeddyTedson

TeddyTedson wrote: »

How to forget about things

I try not to. I try to incorporate the good AND the bad about my life into who and what I am. I try to face the bad - not lock it in a metaphorical box to be avoided and forgotten - which tends to work in the short term but they come back eventually and often worse for the delay. Best to face the bad now than let it grow and fester. Treating an injury early is always better than treating it after infection has set in.

As for _how_ to do this - that depends on what exactly the problems are you are retreating from and so any advice would have to be witheld for more details. I do however find that vipassana mindfulness meditation - which is a meditation technique sans the usual woo woo spiritual nonsense that comes with many things under the banner of meditation - helps greatly. I practice it a lot and I even do a class on it which I have found people telling me has helped them with things like stress, addiction, concentration issues, sleep problems, motivation and much more.

However mindfulness meditation will not help you take your mind off such things. The technique is more inclined to teach you how to put yourself outside those things and contemplate your own thoughts and feelings about them impartially. As one writer put it - it trains you not to calm the rough seas of your mind but to hold yourself above the rough seas and observe it and learn from it - and what it means to you - so as to better help you travel it in your own life.

giant_midget

weed...

SafeSurfer

Dr. Dennis Leary offers some practical advice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAVoQfoU0dQ

Seriously though, I do know what you mean. I think that many people develop a sort of internal turrets syndrome, an internal dialogue where they tell unwelcome thoughts or memories to fcuk off. The unwelcome memory will probably try to dominate your subconscious until you confront and deal with it.

Spread

Well I guess it had to happen. As the median age goes into the upper air ............ AH gets serious. All this anal thinking surely is for O&O.

Mr Benevolent

This technique should be taught from a very early age. Works wonders, I use it all the time. Just say to yourself inside your head:

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Keep saying it until the thoughts stop. Believe me. I'm qualified as a psychotherapist, hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner, and the above is one of the most effective ways of stopping bad thoughts. If the thought comes back, say it again. Rinse and repeat.

Bergkamp 10

Funny I'm having the same problems. Usually it affects me more at night trying to sleep, by keeping me awake.

I'm only young but I would strongly disagree with using drink to deal with it. Been there really, alot of my issues are from drinking too much and ****ing things up badly. The frequency of these incidents start getting worse, and the guilt and shame worse as well. I think I overthink things and need to relax a little. Drinking can relax you slightly but when the next day comes and you cant remember things, find out what you done and get that black cloud of depression its best not to use drink as a crutch. I'm just glad I'm realising this at my age, hopefully I can start practising it in reality.

Queen-Mise

Confab wrote: »

This technique should be taught from a very early age. Works wonders, I use it all the time. Just say to yourself inside your head:

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Keep saying it until the thoughts stop. Believe me. I'm qualified as a psychotherapist, hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner, and the above is one of the most effective ways of stopping bad thoughts. If the thought comes back, say it again. Rinse and repeat.

Are you serious?

I wonder if it would work :eek: