Obsessive creepy girl

LegacyUser

so I met a girl from online, agreed to meet out. went back to hers on that night and had sex. she had the bar in her arm as a contraceptive.

she then text me a few days later saying we should take things slow if we're doing this. I was a virgin before this btw

I said I wasn't looking for a relationship, she said she wasn't either but that I should respect her. went mad at me, calling me names etc. said not to text her again and delete her number. I did.

Text me a few days later saying she was thinking about me. Said NSA would be good. I said ok, if she was fully sure.

I went to her again, said I wanted to wear a condom to be sure. said she was allergic to latex. Made sure the bar was 100 100% safe.

I felt bad about NSA so I told her it wasn't for me. she said she liked me and then started going mad at me again. I said sorry many times and she was saying I was a horrible person and selfish and she'd never forgive me. Said not to text her again.

A few days later (tonight) she texts saying she's late by 2 days. I freak out. Start shaking etc. I talk to another girl online.

I said to the "preg" girl that I was telling my parents as I wasn't sure she wasn't just trying to get me back. She says not to tell them until she's sure she's pregnant. Then says she'll take a test now and not tomorrow likee she said.

Friend online then tells me you don't have periods on the bar. I was sooooo relieved.

Girl texts back saying she's not pregnant.

So what do I do now? Do I just leave it or what?

She's one of those crazy ones.

I don't want to make someone feel bad though.

Or maybe I shouldn't do anything, just need to rant. (I'm 20 btw)

Merkin

She sounds like an out and out nutjob. Have nothing more to do with her and don't have sex with someone without a condom again.Fine in a committed relationship but not with potentially dodgy and/or unhinged randomers

Carter12

Agreed !!!

Do not reply to any more texts from her, she will get the message and move on. Just leave it now, and learn from this

Take care x

castaway_lady

Put on your Nikes and RUN man.

tinkerbell

God OP, you are so naïve. You don't even know what contraception is for - it is to protect from pregnancy AND STIs. You can't protect from STIs by only using a contraceptive pill / patch, etc.

I suggest (a) you get yourself tested for STIs, (b) educate yourself about safe sex, (c) if you know someone is acting like a nutjob well don't meet up with them again and (d) don't shag a stranger without covering up!

oldon

trombone wrote: »

so I met a girl from online, agreed to meet out. went back to hers on that night and had sex. she had the bar in her arm as a contraceptive.

she then text me a few days later saying we should take things slow if we're doing this. I was a virgin before this btw

I said I wasn't looking for a relationship, she said she wasn't either but that I should respect her. went mad at me, calling me names etc. said not to text her again and delete her number. I did.

Text me a few days later saying she was thinking about me. Said NSA would be good. I said ok, if she was fully sure.

I went to her again, said I wanted to wear a condom to be sure. said she was allergic to latex. Made sure the bar was 100 100% safe.

I felt bad about NSA so I told her it wasn't for me. she said she liked me and then started going mad at me again. I said sorry many times and she was saying I was a horrible person and selfish and she'd never forgive me. Said not to text her again.

A few days later (tonight) she texts saying she's late by 2 days. I freak out. Start shaking etc. I talk to another girl online.

I said to the "preg" girl that I was telling my parents as I wasn't sure she wasn't just trying to get me back. She says not to tell them until she's sure she's pregnant. Then says she'll take a test now and not tomorrow likee she said.

Friend online then tells me you don't have periods on the bar. I was sooooo relieved.

Girl texts back saying she's not pregnant.

So what do I do now? Do I just leave it or what?

She's one of those crazy ones.

I don't want to make someone feel bad though.

Or maybe I shouldn't do anything, just need to rant. (I'm 20 btw)

Hi op
Run for the hills count urself very lucky. This girl sounds very unstable. As for unprotected. Sex. Well u don't know who many people she been with. Should never take the chance. Get ur self checked out. Just to be 100 percent. Don't have anything, good more to do with this girl. Keep a log of missed calls and texts. A she may try some dirty tricks. If she feels hard done by. But walk away keep walking.

gaziah

Something along these lines happened to my mate, not as serious though. Bottom line drop her and dont answer her calls or texts. Does she know where you live?, if she does it could get messy.

LegacyUser

OP again.

Yes I know I was naive.

The first night she asked me back I didn't think we were having sex. I was saying to her wait, don't I have to wear a condom and she said "no I have a bar in my arm" and she basically just did it then.

2nd time I brought condoms and said to her I'd prefer to use condoms, she said she was allergic to latex. I wasn't sure what to do then so just went with it I suppose.

Sure enough she has nothing, had a long term relationship previously and hasn't been with anyone else apart from me.

She made me feel really bad about the whole thing, I didn't like making someone feel bad.

And she doesn't know where I live thankfully. Feel a lot better, major lessons learned.

Lorna123

Don't attempt to have any further contact with this woman. Don't reply to any texts and above all don't make any further dates with her. Keep away from her and you won't have any further problems with her.

ando

Abandon ship, abandon ship!! Get out of that mess now and don't look back. Live and learn from it. FYI you can get non latex condoms

Big Bag of Chips

Post deleted.

At no time does the OP suggest the sex was not consensual.

Any poster who has an issue with a mod action or instruction should use the PM facility, and not drag the thread off topic by discussing it on thread.

seamie87

Run to the hills.

There is no such thing as protection from false rape accusation when dealing with crazies.

OP, as you've said, you've learned your lesson.

You said you're sure she doesn't have anything you could catch. Just remember, when someone says they don't have anything you could pick up, do you really want to gamble your future on whether or not they're telling the truth? Always, ALWAYS, use a condom. Given the lengths this woman went to convince you not to use a condom, I'd get a test just to be safe. If you're in college you can probably get one for very cheap or even free, so I'd recommend you see someone.

In the long run, OP, don't feel bad. She's totally at fault for getting herself upset.

Distorted

Grow up. Nothing that bad has happened to you. If you don't like these sort of situations, make sure you only have sex in relationships with girls you know well and care about in future. Take responsibility for contraception, and for your own actions, and drop the victim act.

tinkerbell

trombone wrote: »

OP again.

Sure enough she has nothing, had a long term relationship previously and hasn't been with anyone else apart from me.

And she doesn't know where I live thankfully. Feel a lot better, major lessons learned.

OP, you are even more foolish than I thought if you are just gonna chalk this up to a lesson learned and do nothing about it. You NEED to get yourself tested, you had unprotected sex with a stranger who you know nothing about and you are happy to take her word for it when she's already proven that she's a liar by claiming she's pregnant when she's not! For all you know, she could have been with a ton of people and had unsafe sex. I mean she doesn't even know you and she let you shag her without a condom. Most likely she's done this before as well!

So cop onto yourself and start acting like an adult and don't dig your head in the sand. You owe it to yourself and for any future girl you wanna have a sexual relationship with to get yourself screened.

While she may well have been lying, you can indeed get periods while on the bar, so she may well have been late as well.

Go get yourself tested OP and don't be so naive about it.
And educate yourself in future before doing anything else.

charlietheminxx

Can I just say I think you are both at fault here.

You slept with her, then told her you didn't want to be with her - she probably felt used.

Then you agreed to a casual arrangement, you slept with her again and then said you didn't want to go forward with it. Obviously she was offended....

You both had unprotected sex. Man up and take responsibility for your part in that. I also have the implant and as stated above - many women do still get clockwork periods while using them.

She doesn't sound as obsessive as you make her out to be - she freaked because she was worried she was pregnant (and remember, nothing, not the implanon or condoms, are 100%). Since your first reaction was to tell your parents rather than discuss options with the girl in question, it doesn't sound like you are emotionally or mentally mature enough to be having sex OP. Especially with your attitude to STI testing.

Grow up, don't sleep with someone outside a relationship if you aren't comfortable with it, get yourself tested, and always use condoms with new partners.

LegacyUser

OP here again...

I'll add more detail to the OP, I was talking to her online. she literally wasn't talkative. She said we should meet up, I agreed. She said if we didn't meet out that I could meet her at her house.

I met her out, she says to me she has to go back to her friends as she doesn't leave her friends on nights out. I spoke to her for like 5 mins.

Texted each other during the night and said we'd meet up after.

Couldn't find her after the club and I said "won't be seeing you then?" and then she says to go back to hers.

Went back to hers, and that was that.


After that next day or so she was saying to delete her number and not text again. I did that. She texts again and before long says the same thing.



Then texts to say she was thinking about me etc. that she wanted some fun and NSA. I said if that's what she wanted and she said yes it was.



Then we met for the 2nd time and that was that.


Then sunday she text saying "can I ask you a favour", I dind't reply. She then texts "I really need to see you before wednesday, drop down".

I decided to text this evening to say sorry.

I said "Sorry about the whole thing, I didn't mean to hurt you. I think it's best to forget about the whole thing and move on. Do you agree? I wish you well".

She texts back "I'll tell you tomorrow after my appointment".

I say "what?"

She says "it's ok...forget about it".

I say what is it and she says whatever.

The whole thing has put me off meeting people.

Then texts back

charlietheminxx

op again wrote: »

OP here again...

I'll add more detail to the OP, I was talking to her online. she literally wasn't talkative. She said we should meet up, I agreed. She said if we didn't meet out that I could meet her at her house.

I met her out, she says to me she has to go back to her friends as she doesn't leave her friends on nights out. I spoke to her for like 5 mins.

Texted each other during the night and said we'd meet up after.

Couldn't find her after the club and I said "won't be seeing you then?" and then she says to go back to hers.

Went back to hers, and that was that.


After that next day or so she was saying to delete her number and not text again. I did that. She texts again and before long says the same thing.



Then texts to say she was thinking about me etc. that she wanted some fun and NSA. I said if that's what she wanted and she said yes it was.



Then we met for the 2nd time and that was that.


Then sunday she text saying "can I ask you a favour", I dind't reply. She then texts "I really need to see you before wednesday, drop down".

I decided to text this evening to say sorry.

I said "Sorry about the whole thing, I didn't mean to hurt you. I think it's best to forget about the whole thing and move on. Do you agree? I wish you well".

She texts back "I'll tell you tomorrow after my appointment".

I say "what?"

She says "it's ok...forget about it".

I say what is it and she says whatever.

The whole thing has put me off meeting people.

Then texts back

What does that even mean? Did you finish that post, it looks like there is something missing at the end? Err but just from that, it sounds like she is seeing a doctor. Either way, I would make it clear to her you would like to know what is going on.

The rest of my advice still stands as above.

ibarelycare

She sounds like a headwrecker and drama queen. I reckon the whole thing about her "appointment" is an excuse to keep in contact with you. I'd still wait to hear what she says about the appointment, but after that get her number blocked and just cut her out completely.

And I'll reiterate what everyone else said...get yourself checked. Don't let this incident put you off meeting people off the internet, but do learn from it.

Merkin

I'm not sure why you added more detail, it wasn't really necessary OP. She's still a nutjob and you still had unprotected sex with her so it doensn't really change things. I hope there has been no more contact? Do not under any circumstances engage any more with this girl, she has some serious issues and don't get sucked into her world of crazy. It's infortunate to encounter someone like this when you're just dipping your toe into dating and sex but I guess this is a lesson learnt now hon. Ignore her, get yourself checked and educated and move on.

blatantrereg

It's probably not the nicest behaviour to sleep with a virgin immediately with no intention of developing a relationship. I get the impression you weren't misleading about that or anything, but it strikes me as a bit insensitive.

That said, the idea of a virgin having the bar in her arm strikes me as pretty unusual or even odd. I would certainly agree that you need to get tested for STIs, since it is certainly feasible that she has had unprotected sex with randomers on other (even many) occasions.

As for the pregnancy scare: Girls can be a couple of days late for a period for all sorts of reasons. It's normal enough for them to wonder if they're pregnant when that happens. It's not weird for her to tell you about that, and it doesn't sound like she tried to convince you she was pregnant or anything when she did so. Honestly it sounds like she was the more rational and collected one there.

The message asking you for a favour and then mentioning an appointment without explaining - that would raise alarm bells with me. It sounds like she's trying to manipulate you into engaging emotionally with her. I wouldn't get into that.

I dont think it's fair to call her obsessive or creepy tbh from reading this, and calling her a nutjob is a bit overboard too. You clearly dont like her and dont trust her though (and it seems rational not to trust her tbh) so stop meeting up with her and having sex with her.

Merkin

blatantrereg wrote: »

It's probably not the nicest behaviour to sleep with a virgin immediately with no intention of developing a relationship.

The OP didn't say anything about her being a virgin. The OP was a virgin until he slept with her.

AnonoBoy

Some people like drama. Some people will lie about things. Don't indulge them.

Never ever ever ever ever ever sleep with someone you've just met without a condom. If they're allergic to latex then get non-latex condoms. If they say they don't like condoms then just don't sleep with them.

Seriously - it's very easy to remember.

Honey-ec

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Some people like drama. Some people will lie about things. Don't indulge them.

Never ever ever ever ever ever sleep with someone you've just met without a condom. If they're allergic to latex then get non-latex condoms. If they say they don't like condoms then just don't sleep with them.

Seriously - it's very easy to remember.

And don't just take anyone's word that they're on hormonal contraception, ever.

LegacyUser

I text her this evening to see what the appiontment was about, she says "why do u care"

she then texts again saying "it's nothing of your concern"

Merkin

trombone wrote: »

I text her this evening to see what the appiontment was about, she says "why do u care"

she then texts again saying "it's nothing of your concern"

OK, I'd take that literally then. Now phone your service provider and have her number blocked. Then go and get yourself checked out. Don't text her again.

Stavro Mueller

All I can suggest to you is that you read Page 1 of this thread again. Then Page 2. Then go back to Page 1 and start reading again. Because people have taken time out of their lives to give you very sensible advice as to how to deal with this. All of which you seem to be ignoring. You say you're 20 but you sound years younger. It's time to put your hormones away and be utterly pragmatic about this. You had unprotected sex with a girl who may or may not be a bit of an attention seeking drama queen. Either way, you seem to have gotten out of jail when it comes to having a kid. So now there two things you must do

1. Get yourself checked so that you've not acquired some sort of sexually transmitted disease. Needless to say, don't ever ever have unprotected sex with another girl in the future before ye are exclusive and all that jazz. I suggest you read up on contraception and protecting yourself too because your naïveté is surprising.

2. Block this girl's number and thank your lucky stars that you can walk away from this without babies and (hopefully) a nasty STI.

I don't know why on earth you are continuing to contact her. I don't know how unhinged she is in reality but staying in contact with her spells trouble. Besides, you don't seem to like her much either. Neither of you are behaving particularly maturely so don't know where you actually see this going? Nowhere pleasant, that's for sure. So be sensible for once, delete her number and don't contact her again

Ickle Magoo

OP, you've been given ample advice on how to proceed on the situation described in your OP.

As you have decided to encourage/continue contact, there is little point of leaving the thread open.

All the very best.