stranger danger

dont look back.

how do talk to kids under 8 about stranger. without them thinking them that every time to go and play that someone will take them away.

January

You just tell them never to go with anybody without asking for your permission. To never approach a car that stops on the road and calls them.

Mr.Wemmick

You also need to make sure they know never to go into a neighbour's house or car, a friend's house/car without out you knowing about it before hand. Even if that person tells them that Mummy or Daddy said it was okay, they need to hear it from you directly as you need to know where they are at all times. Very important you tell them this.

Earlier this Summer, I had a neighbour, a few houses away from us, come out of his house to ask my son, as he cycled by, if he had seen his young daughter (both the same age, same class in school). My son answered no and then this irresponsible idiot parent asked my son to go quickly on his bike to look for her, he also tried to send him off in a direction he is not allowed to go. My son told him that he can not go anywhere without his Mum's say so and he will cycle home first to ask me if he can help find the missing girl.. the Dad soon told him not to worry, it's okay, not to ask me anything.. I was livid, what an complete irresponsible idiot this Dad was, but I was so proud of my son - never stopped telling him that evening how smart he was and how proud of him I was. His Dad did the same when he came home..

Daffodil.d

I have had this, this week with my daughter who's nearly 5. she heard the news on the radio and started asking questions. I was stunned to be honest because I hadn't realised she was that tuned in. I Sat down with her later and explained that if she is ever approached by anyone to get into a car she must not. Even if they have sweets/Barbies/Halloween costumes etc. I must be told.I told her who she Could get i with which isn't a big list anyway. I don't think this will put any fear into her just caution. I didn't complicate it I left it at that.

dont look back.

thanks.

Orion

I personally dislike the whole "stranger danger" concept. It implies that only strangers are dangerous when the majority of abduction and abuse cases are perpetrated by people known to the children.

As January said: "You just tell them never to go with anybody without asking for your permission". Anybody means anybody at all.

We reinforce the message that we want to know where they are always and if they are even going from one friends house to another to come back and let us know. This message also includes going off with anyone. Some time ago they came back to the house to let us know they were going to the playground with a friend's father. He was bringing half the kids on the road up to the playground - nothing untoward at all. The point was they wouldn't even go off with someone they knew without telling us.

liliq

Worth noting from David Colemans facebook page


"Tip for today: One of the really common judgement errors we make is to to overestimate the risks of highly publicised dangers or very dramatically dangerous events. The real risk of abduction by strangers is tiny, but when, tragically, children like Madeleine McCann and April Jones go missing we blow the risk of 'stranger-danger' out of all proportion. Children are still at much greater risk of harm from people they know than people they don't. So if children themselves are exposed to the news and become fearful for their own safety we can acknowledge their fears but then reassure them that the risks are negligible. Instead it is better that they learn to tell you any time they feel uncomfortable with the behaviour of an adult that they spend time with."

doubletrouble?

it's also a good idea to have a good relationship with your children. kids will always be kids, get up to mischief and are afraid to tell the truth etc. but when dealing with anything outside the family area it's most important that they know they can trust you and tell you anything without getting into trouble no matter how bad they think it is or what you might think, it's all about letting them know they can always trust you and you'll always be there. . this is something we will teach the twins as they older.i cannot emphasize this enough.

Hannibal Smith

I think its important to highlight 'stranger danger'. When we were young we were always told never to take sweets from strangers and never take a lift from anyone you don't know. I never listened. I was always an eejit when it came to strangers, would tell them everything and anything so my parents really went on about it.

One day a man stopped me outside my house and said my name, so I assumed he knew me. I was talking to him for a bit before my brother called me in for dinner. He said he knew my parents even though he got their names wrong, but suddenly remembered when I said them . I told my parents about him and they said the reason he knew my name was because I was wearing one of those purses round my neck with my name on it Was the man innocently looking for a chat with and 8 year old or was there something more, we'll never know. But, I remember finally getting what my parents were on about after they yelled at me for 10 hours for being so naive!

So yes children can be more at risk from some one they know, but strangers can be a threat and can be extremely sly and convincing. A kid can end up in a dangerous situation without even realising it. Wasn't there a girl nabbed in wicklow last year, but she managed to get out of the car? I remember reading around the time Madeleine mccann went missing that far more children go missing than make headline news. And there are always the 'attempted abduction' stories floating about.

It's hard to know what to say without scaring the life out of them, but depending on whether your kid was a muppet like me, maybe a scare is needed . Otherwise a firm talk about it should suffice .

foxy06

The guards dropped the case of the girl in wicklow as there were no witnesses and no sign of the car she described on cctv. There was a similar story few months before in wicklow that was apparently the child's father and there was a domestic issue. Both times I got an awful fright but like another poster said, it really is the people u know that u need to watch.

Gloomtastic!

Saw this on Facebook recently....

If your kids are approached by someone they know and told that they were to pick them up by their mum/dad. Get the kid to ask for the password. If they don't know the password then mum and dad didn't ask them! Simple really

Hannibal Smith

foxy06 wrote: »

The guards dropped the case of the girl in wicklow as there were no witnesses and no sign of the car she described on cctv. There was a similar story few months before in wicklow that was apparently the child's father and there was a domestic issue. Both times I got an awful fright but like another poster said, it really is the people u know that u need to watch.

I wondered what happened to that because tete wasn't much coverage afterwards.

The password plan is a good idea but the adult could say, mum changed the password etc.

There was a story in Australia recently about a guy in a car who stopped a woman saying she was being followed and to get into the car, so she did and it didn't end too well for her. That was a grown woman.

I suppose its down to your own personal parenting style. I not a maud flanders 'won't some one please think of the children' type, but there are a couple of things I'm a stickler on and this is one. I'd rather my kid not be a statistic. Of you think it doesn't happen often enough for it to be an issue for you that's completely your prerogative, but once is too often in my book.

I'm not an expert on the topic, or on each individual case to know who or what was behind each abduction but the fact that it could happen is enough for me.

Condatis

Parental responsibility is not confined to warnings such as these.

You must also consider the age at which it is appropriate for children to be out of sight.

No child under the age of ten – in most cases – should be allowed out on their own, even with other children. If you do not heed this benchmark you are responsible if something untoward occurs.

IvyTheTerrible

I think it's important to tell kids about stranger danger but it is also important to let them know about being able to tell you if they feel uncomfortable with someone they know.

I remember when I was in baby infants, my parents had a row with a neighbour. I didn't really know this. The neighbour arrived at school right as we were leaving. She said that she was collecting me from school that day. I thought it was strange that dad didn't tell me he wasn't collecting me but I got into the car anyway cos I knew her. She arrived at home with me and kept me in the car while she gave out to my mum about the row. I'm only realising now how that could have been a dangerous thing for me to do.

January

Condatis wrote: »

Parental responsibility is not confined to warnings such as these.

You must also consider the age at which it is appropriate for children to be out of sight.

No child under the age of ten – in most cases – should be allowed out on their own, even with other children. If you do not heed this benchmark you are responsible if something untoward occurs.

I think 10 is too old to be supervised constantly by a parent outside. I'd like to think that by the age of 8 I could let my girls go out and around the corner to the park and play without coming to any harm but obviously I'll judge that when the time comes, not every child is the same. At the moment they are nearly 4, 2 and a half and 1 and I will keep them in my sight and watch them like hawks when they are out playing for the foreseeable future.

lynski

I am really curious about what people think of this; I have seen it on a couple of facebook timelines and on rollercoaster:

he is wanted on child protection issues.

guards in laois/ kilminchy are looking for a man in a blue Toyota Corolla reg plate xx xx xxxx He is dangerous and the Guards are looking for him, if anyone sees him please contact the Guards.Please pass it onto as many families as u can. Regards, Kilminchy Neighbourhood Watch.

but the number was readable.
or another message actually calling him a pedophile (not spelled correctly) one of the messages was supposedly sent from a county counciller.
There is something in the indo - but not a the same story.http://www.independent.ie/national-news/parents-on-alert-after-strangers-approach-children-3255618.html
Anyone heard this, reliably? have you ever seen the number plate in the news like that before? I think it is a crazy thing to do unless there was very good cause.