Life Not Going How I Thought...

LegacyUser

Registered user going unreg'd for this one.

I'm a 25 year old male, living in Dublin.

For the past month or so, I've been feeling very angry, frustrated and fed up with life in general.

The problem stems from the loss of my job mostly. While I have a college degree, I do not want to pursue a career in the field that I hold the degree in. But I had a job as an assistant manager in a pretty busy restaurant in the city centre. It was hard work (I was working an average of 60-70 hours a week), but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I loved my co-workers, loved the atmosphere... and it paid supremely well. It ticked all the boxes.

Everything came crashing down with a bang last month when the place went into receivership. I could only stand and watch in horror as the bailiffs moved in and picked through the bones, taking anything that wasn't nailed down, then coming back for the stuff that was nailed down later. The owner owed the banks something sick like six million from gambling on the property market, and 22 people lost their jobs because of it.

At the time, I felt like it was just a new challenge for me. In the past, whenever anything has come up (and a lot of things have come up in my life, believe me), I picked myself up, dusted myself off and got on with it and conquered. But now, I realise that this is more than I can handle.

I was under a naive impression that despite the recession, I would simply walk into another, similar job to the one I had just left. I have a very impressive C.V. (excellent Leaving Cert, college degree, 3 years' experience in the restaurant trade [2 of them as assistant manager], plenty of interests including GAA, Karate, etc.), I'm brilliant at talking to people, I'm a hard worker. I should tick boxes for a lot of employers. But here I am, sitting around with absolutely nothing to do, and I'm starting to go stir crazy.

I get no replies from places I hand C.V.'s into or apply to, or I get rejection letters or messages. And the one or two places that told me to come in are absolutely derisory in their work conditions. I know, this sounds bad, that I should be happy to take any job, but I'm just so used to being in a pretty prominent position with a hands-on involvement in the business, I'll find it hard to go back to the beginning. I worked hard for so long and then the rug was pulled from under me.

Money, believe it or not, is not the biggest issue at the moment; I have a couple of small jobs at the minute keeping me going and I have plenty of money saved up for the rainy day. Thankfully, I'm not having to dip into the savings too often.

The main issue for me is that I feel idle. I've always been working; since I was 15 I've always had a job of some sort and I hate being without work. I love working and I hate being without it. And the struggle to find some sort of work is really killing me. To make matters worse in my own mind, I have such an impressive C.V. and I have a really good personality and work ethic. I was genuinely under the impression that I would find work much easier than this. Maybe my standards are too high, and maybe I am elitist in what I will and will not do.

A family friend has said to me that a position will be opening in his business around Christmas and it would be a 9-5, Monday to Friday gig and while I'd prefer longer hours, it would pay well and it's a nice number.

But even at that, this position that is opening is relying on another person retiring and there is nothing concrete there anyway.

I know this sounds mad as I'm only 25, but I feel like I've been consigned to something of a scrapheap; I was actually told by one job that I applied for that I was too old for the position. At 25?!?! I was stunned, and pretty upset, if truth be told.

I do not wish to go abroad (I suffer from homesickness greatly), I do not wish to go back to college to do a Masters (I don't think it would help me find a better job) and I just feel like I have backed myself into a corner.

I genuinely do not know what to do to occupy my time. I'm staying up til all hours watching films, lying awake during the day and generally struggling to find reasons to get out and do things. I do have the odd diversion from GAA and Karate and that, but that's only for a few hours and only a couple of times a week. It's during that day that's killing me. Apart from grocery shopping and the odd social engagement, there is no reason to go anywhere.

What can I do? I feel so helpless and I can feel depression slipping into my life.

Sorry about the long post, too.

gigawatt2007

Why not go and travel until that position opens up around Xmas time, you have time on your hands, you have money to use and you're at a great age to use it?

Guaranteed you won't regret it and when the job opens up you just come home and get into that role.

Wallowing around when you're used to be being busy is bound to bring you down.

R.D. aka MR.D

Have you thought about maybe doing some volunteer work to get you out of the house?

LegacyUser

A lot of good people who want to work are finding it hard to get a job at the moment. Do you keep in contact with your friends?
Do you go out to meet them even if it is only for a coffee or for a early bird meal?
At least you know of a job coming up around Christmas which you may get.

One of my friends has been out of work for a while. A few months ago they had a job interview which they did not get and were very upset at the time.
My friend was very overweight and decided to join a slimming group. They arranged to go on a walk each morning with a friend which stopped them from staying up late each night watching tv. Since then my friend has gone from walking 20 mins a day to walking 3 to 4 miles each day. They have also lost 4 stone in weight.
My friend has told me I am applying for jobs and I hope to get work soon but if I did not have this time off I would not have lost the weight.
Some times you have to push yourself when things are not working out the way you planned.
At this stage you need to get away from home for a week or two holiday. Even if you only go to London for a few days to see the sights it will get you away from home and give you a brake from job hunting. You are lucky that you have the money to do this.

At 25 you are not on the scrapheap and your lucky that you don't have a family, debt and a mortgage you can't afford. You should look on this time as a brake to have a holiday and to decide what you want to do next with your life.
You have to get up each day with a plan and keep telling yourself that things will get better for you. Also I would sign on as this would keep your stamps up to date which will need at retirement. This will also give you the ability to apply for a further course which could help your employment chances ie springboard.
Good Luck and let us know how things are going for you here.

LegacyUser

You're reasonable and smart, and still seem fairly positive about your skills and talents. DO NOT let this time of 'nothingness' change that. You say you can feel sadness seeping in, well if you can see it, you can prevent it. There's no use to it, and although you feel idle now- as do most of the unemployed, try not to blame yourself or let it knock you.

You're lucky you have such experience, and you have the funds. You can travel now. You can find work easily with such an impressive CV. Be thankful you have had work at all, and be positive that you will find it again, b'cos you will. Maybe not right now, but someday soon.

Wake up every morning and instead of dwelling on what has happened, concentrate on what you WANT to happen next. You may not realise it, but we create most of the happenings in our lives ourselves, by little decisions. If you want to have a happy life, be happy. Easy as that. A job is secondary to that. You seem to feel you MUST be busy every second.

I hope things work out for you, but you're lucky it's only a month in. Keep the head, and don't let this knock you. You can pick yourself up and dust yourself down like you've done so many times before.

Best of luck.

PS, how insulting of whoever it was to say 25 is old. You're a young one yet, and don't forget it!

kob29

Look into getting your cv into recruitment agencies. It sounds like you would benefit greatly from volunteer work too.