What exactly can I do?

LegacyUser

For the last while I've been feeling pretty depressed. I've just started college as a first year and I've been feeling this way since before the leaving cert.

I've talked to people, quite a lot of people actually - school guidance counsellors, friends, my boyfriend, help lines, etc. This helps, but it doesn't solve anything. Last night I called up a help line again because I was feeling pretty bad and the person on the other end asked me what I think I can do to change things. I have absolutely no idea. Now that I've started in college I'm going to go to the counselling service and see what they can do for me but I fear it'll just be another case of talking and saying what's wrong with me. It's good to get stuff off my chest, but like I said, it doesn't solve anything.

So realistically, what can I do about this?

angeline

Hi. Well, the first thing you need to do is go to a nice and understanding GP. He/she will be able to guide you on the best course of action. Whether that involves medication or counselling, I really think a GP should be your first port of call. CBT is supposed to be good but again discuss that with your doctor.

CIARAN_BOYLE

Exercise is good imo. Produces wonderful endorphins that does the job and rolls back depression in my experience.

LegacyUser

I've been depressed for years and been to counselling. Being brutally honest, you never get over depression, you can only learn to deal with it when it arises. This is something I've struggled with.

Counselling is not a magical cure. In fact those who are in deep depression are probably unlikely to respond to it. I know I certainly have not responded as I would have wished to it.

I go to the gym regularly and whilst I enjoy it, it is only papering over the cracks.

You need to get this nipped in the bud. It has affect me for many years now and it has taken over my life - unable to form a relationship, no friends, reclusive, lack of confidence, going on a downer over petty things.

Depression is a something that can ruin your life. It is pretty close to ruining mine. Yet it is still perceived as socially unacceptable to admit being affected.

Get to a GP and stand over them until they do something for you such as a referral to an expert. It will be a long road and tough too. Good luck.

castaway_lady

Ask the gp about having a blood test to check hormone levels and for deficiencies. I've read of links between these and depression when there is not major life crisis causing the depression.

smurgen

I felt depressed through most of my undergrad course and never seeked help even though I should have.Dunno how but I managed to make it through and actually enjoyed my masters in college alot. I found the gym a massive help and went nearly every day. It does wonders for occupying your mind and helping with your self image. So if I was to recommend anything to you it would be to start excercising and continue to seek your doctor / councellor. Also a bit of blind faith that everything will work out in the end and that thigs will get better will also help if you can manage to get into that frame of mind.

Pippy1976

depressedandhelpless wrote: »

Now that I've started in college I'm going to go to the counselling service and see what they can do for me

Counsellors can help you talk things through to get a clearer picture of the root cause... however, you seem to think they'll be able to 'do' something for you. You need to do things for yourself: they can only make you see this.

Don't go to a counsellor expecting them to fix everything.. you need to be an active participant too.

RossFixxxed

Go to your GP and explain what you just posted. They will often do a blood test first to eliminate any hormone/liver/kidney etc disorder. Then address the mental issue if relevant. I keep saying this and will keep saying it: Going to the doctor and asking for help is the biggest step you will make. Trust me it will make a big difference. You need to be engaged and honest with the doctor, and even if you are not a 'fan' of a particular treatment mothodology you should give it a fair try. You would be surprised what actually works. Keep at the doctor, keep going until you find support and help that works for YOU.

I can and will get better if you take some steps. Best of luck OP.
R

LegacyUser

Hi OP here again. Only getting a chance to respond to this now.

Pippy1976 wrote: »

Counsellors can help you talk things through to get a clearer picture of the root cause... however, you seem to think they'll be able to 'do' something for you. You need to do things for yourself: they can only make you see this.

Don't go to a counsellor expecting them to fix everything.. you need to be an active participant too.

Just wanted to respond to this first - that's exactly why I made the thread. I don't know what I can do for myself. Being honest, I don't really expect a counsellor to "do" much, and I'm not sure if they can do anything at all for me.

On the topic of going to the GP - I went to my family one when I started feeling like this but he completely fobbed me off, and I'm a bit wary of going to the GP since. I know that any good one wouldn't do that but I'm just a bit scared. I will go to the college doctor though and mention it as I need to get a prescription renewed soon anyway.

I keep meaning to start going to the gym, and I will give it a go once I get a chance (I'm not making excuses not to go, just genuinely haven't gotten a chance). But I'm afraid it won't do much. I've never been fit and really the idea of exercising in front of a load of other people terrifies me. I know it's good for you but I've a lot of self-esteem issues and I'd be worried that it might do more harm than good in ways.

I've made an appointment with the counsellor anyway, and I'll see how that goes.

Lorna123

depressedandhelpless wrote: »

Hi OP here again. Only getting a chance to respond to this now.



Just wanted to respond to this first - that's exactly why I made the thread. I don't know what I can do for myself. Being honest, I don't really expect a counsellor to "do" much, and I'm not sure if they can do anything at all for me.

On the topic of going to the GP - I went to my family one when I started feeling like this but he completely fobbed me off, and I'm a bit wary of going to the GP since. I know that any good one wouldn't do that but I'm just a bit scared. I will go to the college doctor though and mention it as I need to get a prescription renewed soon anyway.

I keep meaning to start going to the gym, and I will give it a go once I get a chance (I'm not making excuses not to go, just genuinely haven't gotten a chance). But I'm afraid it won't do much. I've never been fit and really the idea of exercising in front of a load of other people terrifies me. I know it's good for you but I've a lot of self-esteem issues and I'd be worried that it might do more harm than good in ways.

I've made an appointment with the counsellor anyway, and I'll see how that goes.

Are you just lonely with no friends, or plenty of friends but don't socialize because you can't get motivated. What you can do for yourself is simple, go to the gym or do a bit of exercise yourself, taking a walk that kind of thing. It will clear you mind. People go to the gym to improve their overall appearance or they wouldn't be there so everyone is in the same boat, nobody is looking at you, too concerned about themselves. Doing the very thing that you hate doing is the best way to get over the fear of doing it. I can't give you any answers, but can just make suggestions about what you can do to help yourself. Confidence comes with age and experience so don't expect too much of yourself at this stage, you will gradually get there. Best of Luck.

Neyite

Op, counselling can help you identify the areas that need to change for your emotional wellbeing, but you yourself need to input the actions to make those changes. And probably its daunting because it may seem like so much to do you dont know where to start.

I had that experience some years ago, and this is how I approached it: I took baby steps towards each goal, and gave myself credit for the small things that I did do.

Take the gym for instance - its too daunting to sign up totally unfit and selfconcious and then you feel worse when you make excuses and dont go, wasting your membership, so in that case, I'd maybe make small changes - a 30 min walk (Couch to 5k program is excellent and designed for people who are starting out in exercising) three times a week. Add into that you tweak your diet -dont plan a drastic menu that will make you feel like you are depriving yourself - start with a little less tea/coffee/fizzy drinks, a little more water, same for a little less sweet stuff, and a little more fruit etc. Then give yourself credit for what baby steps you have made. Dont let yourself feel negative about your efforts.

If for example, you identify through counselling that you need to kickstart your career, dont focus on the seemingly unattainable job or the fact that you may only get interviews for the ones you are not pushed on - instead, view the interviews as practice runs for the one you really want, when it comes up.

This is how I started to turn my counselling into actions, and its become second nature to me now and I'm far happier as a result.

RossFixxxed

If you don't want to go to someone for help.... Then what can any of us do? Your GP may have fobbed you off so go to another GP or go back and explain that the situation has gotten worse and you are not feeling well. You have really 2 choices:
1) Continue on the way you are, which is clearly not working.
2) Admit to yourself you need help and give the professionals a chance. It may take time to find the right person / treatment but once you do you won't know yourself.

You need to find something aimed at dealing with your issues. I'm not the biggest fan of 'talk therapy' but there are many alternatives out there like CBT and so on. I'm not recommending any particular method as that is for the professionals to decide.

Look I'll be blunt, there ARE some dreadful GPs and some woeful councellors out there. Just like in any profession. But there are many, many brilliant mental health professionals also, find one and see what a difference can be made. It's not all just 'tell me about your mother' suff. Something is wrong, you know it, I know it... What are you going to do about it? Post up excuses and why you don't think anything can be done? Or go do something about it now? Log off and go to a professional and MAKE THEM LISTEN to you if you have to. It's your life and should be the single most important thing to you.

Good luck OP.