was I wrong for doing this

Jennie_Jaeger

hi all, a week and a half ago i noticed my oh had a fluid like feeling in the left of his ball sack. i urged him to go to the doctor as these things should never be left and also there is cancer history with his father... anyhow he initially refused saying "he was grand". i came back on the subject last weekend and he finally agreed to go to the doc, i ensured he made an appointment which he did (for today) he called me this morning and said he coulnt get off work and moved his appointment to monday next. Im heavily pregnant at the mo and could do without being worried sick tbh. i kept thinking he wasnt going to go to the doctor and even if he did he would probably say he was there with back pain or somethin. So I called his doctor today to explain that i was pregnant and was very worried about him I also explained how he was reluctant to go see him but that he was due to go on monday and told him what he was going in with (just in case he didnt mention it) the doctor was lovely and said not to worry he would take a look at him when he goes in. i told my oh that i rang his doc just to let him know that it was me making him go to see him etc and he flipped at me. i thought he over-reacted and now we're not speaking. does anyone think i was wrong to call his doctor in advance for him?? thanks in advance for any advice

iusedtoknow

Yes you were wrong, you should have at least said it to him once again and used it as a threat. He is not a child and basically, you can only worry about his medical care - no more.I'm sure being pregnant you can understand how important control over you own body and care is and how you would hate to feel that things are being taken out of your hands even though you are able bodied and minded.

Your other half is probably as concerned as you are as well but i speak from experience that showing your junk to another guy is difficult and it can take some time to get over that hurdle.

Personally i think you should sit him down, apologise but ask him to go to the doctor for your own peace of mind, and offer to go with him if he wants

LegacyUser

Jennie_Jaeger wrote: »

So I called his doctor today to explain that i was pregnant and was very worried about him I also explained how he was reluctant to go see him but that he was due to go on monday and told him what he was going in with (just in case he didnt mention it) the doctor was lovely and said not to worry he would take a look at him when he goes in. i told my oh that i rang his doc just to let him know that it was me making him go to see him etc and he flipped at me. i thought he over-reacted and now we're not speaking. does anyone think i was wrong to call his doctor in advance for him?? thanks in advance for any advice

Wow that was so shockingly out of order, I can't even believe you have to question if you were in the wrong! I'm a woman and if my bf/oh did something like that to me, discussing MY personal, confidential medical issue with MY doctor, i would be absolutely livid.

You've treated him like he's a four year old child. You're not his mother for god sake!

You've also put his doctor in a terrible position too by the way, have you ever heard of patient doctor confidentiality??! - it exists for a reason. You've also probably absolutely broken any kind of rapport or trust the two of them may have had making your bf less likely to go see him. I know I'd be mortified having to go to my own doctor with a really personal issue knowing my OH had rang to fill them in before hand! I'd be so embarrased my OH had treated me like I was a completely incompentent teenager!

I suggest you appologise profuesly to your OH and assure him that you will never ever do something so utterly disrespectful again.

LegacyUser

Like your OH ringing your GP to have a chat about him being concerned about your (already booked) upcoming smear test.....a blatent infringement on personal privacy, unnecessary& inappropriate.

m'lady

I know you are worried but you were wrong.. He is not a child and no doubt he is worried about this, he didn't need you mistrusting him and going behind his back. I think a big apology is needed!

Hope things work out ok.

ArtyC

i can be like you when my boyfriend needs to go to doctor/ hospital- before its been like dragging a bold child with me!!! but it's because id be concerned about him so i understand your reasons but i think you owe him an apology tbh. it's embarrassing enough to show these things to a doctor without having your oh ring up, id say sit him down- expain that you were just going out of your mind with worry and thats why you did it. id say he reacted the way he did because hes concerned also. best of luck op x

m'lady

I know you are worried but you were wrong.. He is not a child and no doubt he is worried about this, he didn't need you mistrusting him and going behind his back. I think a big apology is needed!

Hope things work out ok.

Lorna123

It's understandable OP that you thought you were doing the right thing, but no you weren't. This is not somehting that cannot be rectified though, just explain how you felt to your OH, and that you now realize that you were out of order. I am sure he will accept your apologies.

Ickle Magoo

Locking as OP has shown they wish to disengage from thread by closing their account.