He wants a break - I need to move

LegacyUser

Boyfriend of 14 months wants to have a break.

He bagged up my stuff that is in his place (he lives 10 doors down from me in the same apartment block).

I see him on average 2 or 3 times a week. I generally make dinner 2 days out of 3 and we would go to the cinema or go to another place to walk.

He said he wants a break because study and work are getting too much for him. The study is optional: he has taken up a casual IT course that has no time limit. His job is relatively stress free. He went on holidays with his family a few weeks ago to Malta for 8 days and I couldn't go because of my job.

So tonight I went around to his to pick up something and he had all my stuff in the sitting room. Said I made him feel guilty. I asked him why, he said not to be asking why and to stop coming around so much.

He said that he never wanted the relationship to become an "every day" thing and that he is turning off me. He only wanted a casual relationship. We've done the meeting parents thing and go to dinner in respective parents' houses on occasion too.

He said seeing me more than once a week and especially when he's tired from work just annoys him and doesn't make him want to be around me. I'm not irritating or anything and things have generally been ok. I told him I thought we were seeing more of each other because the relationship was strengthening and we were getting more close. He just looked at me. And I took my stuff and just turned around and left. He didn't come after me. So I think we're either done or... I am not sure.

I don't know where any of this is coming from. And he's refusing to say any more on it.

Are we done do you think? I think we are. I just need some input.

Stavro Mueller

Oh you're done alright. With a capital D. There is no doubt this guy has absolutely no interest in you being his girlfriend. It's probably just as we'll he's not saying anything more about it because what's out there is hurtful enough. Listen to what he's telling you. He is saying both in words and in deeds that he doesn't want you around and he doesn't want a relationship (with you). This is a dead duck. Walk away now with your dignity intact. Stop chasing him and perhaps reading more into things than you should be. break up and find someone else who will appreciate you.

Ellsbells

Yeah pet just walk away. He wants to finish so let him be and move on.

ManOfMystery

Totally agree with the posters above, this is done.

Him saying he wants a 'break' (while simultaneously saying he doesn't want a fulltime relationship) is just his cowardly way of letting you down gently. Trust me, this will be a permanent break.

It's strange that he's done the whole dinner at parents thing and met friends etc, yet has suddenly done a complete U-turn on the relationship ......... did you guys ever have a talk about what type of relationship it was going to be exactly?

bellylint

Heya Op, that doesn't sound like great or respectful treatment from him in any sense. It's not the worst behaviour in the world but its certainly on the poorer side of things. After 14 months, claiming that it was just to be a casual thing is remarkably shallow thing. He is doing you a favour by getting rid of himself for you.
Sorry to hear that you are coming to an end of a relationship but at least it will clear the way for somebody who is right for you. The living close to him could be a bit toxic for you and keep in mind of that if it happens.

Good luck

Calhoun

breakinthesquare wrote: »

He said seeing me more than once a week and especially when he's tired from work just annoys him and doesn't make him want to be around me. I'm not irritating or anything and things have generally been ok. I told him I thought we were seeing more of each other because the relationship was strengthening and we were getting more close. He just looked at me. And I took my stuff and just turned around and left. He didn't come after me. So I think we're either done or... I am not sure.

This is the bit that stand out the most for me and illustrates how much you guys are done, when i have a bad day in work or i am tired my partner is the one person i do want to have around me for comfort. The fact that he is too "tired" to see you tells you a hell of allot.

I would cut your losses and move on, do not be tricked into the "casual" relationship crap either as it sounds like he wants to have a bit of fun without the responsiblity of being in a relationship.

Lorna123

What a slap in the face OP and how disappointing to be on the receiving end of this behaviour. If I were treated like that by someone I would never darken their door again. End of.

DeltaWhite

Pfftttt.. good RIDDANCE to him OP.. he's only wasting your precious time lovey!! Lucky escape IMO

Tom93

Yes - You are done!! This guy does not seem to have respect for you and therefore he does not deserve you. You should move on and find somone who will treat you better.