Unmarried Dad rights?

ckeogh

Hi guys,
Me and my partner are going through a very tough time, and I'm unsure whether the relationship is coming to an end or not... Either way, We have a 5 month old daughter & I want to have equal rights as her mother. And it's not something I want to dispute, as it would be unfair to our little one & me, if she decides to refuse me access to make me suffer for example, over a mood swing.
To any paranoid people out there, I'm not doing this to spite or cause a riff, I love my daughter and do everything I can for her, and then some. She is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I just want to get the piece of mind that no matter what happens with us as a couple that I will not lose access or rights to see my daughter.
But I genuinely don't know where to start.
Any advice would be welcome & really appriciated. Thanks!

Scotty #

You have no (automatic) rights...

But start here... www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/cohabiting_couples/legal_guardianship_and_unmarried_couples.html

Suucee

As Scotty said you have no automatic right. You need to apply for guardianship.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/married_couples/guardianship_status_of_fathers.html

James Jones

ckeogh wrote: »

I just want to get the piece of mind that no matter what happens with us as a couple that I will not lose access or rights to see my daughter.

Welcome to the mire of Family Law!!! Not only do you, as an unmarried father, have no rights at all but your application for such rights might well bring things to the next level. A Court application can become very adversarial and literally make a bad situation worse. Whatever Court Order you get can be ignored without any sanction and so you will never be in a situation where you can be guaranteed that you will not lose contact with your child.

Guardianship is of no practical use as it is generally ignored except when it comes to taking the child abroad. I would advise that the best thing you can do is very calmly explain to your partner that you recognise that she is in complete control but that you want to share the responsibility of being a parent and want to establish a legal link between you and your child. You do not have to apply for Guardianship (as a previous poster has claimed) as this can be accomplished by both of you signing a Statutory Declaration in the presence of a Peace Commissioner/Commissioner of Oaths. If she refuses, then you know that you will have a battle on your hands if you take her to Court. You will probably gain Guardianship but you have to decide if it's worth it.

The Corinthian

As has already been said, you have no rights. Zero. Were you married, you'd have guardianship, but as James Jones already pointed out, these are generally ignored or unenforced, with the exception of your right to block the transport of your daughter outside of the state (although this can be overruled) or that your daughter can be adopted without your consent.

You can apply for guardianship, but unless this is by agreement, I'd suspect that it would simply make matters worse between you and your partner and may in fact be the tipping point in any breakup. As such, I'd probably only do so if you agree upon it or if you do break up.

First thing though is are you living together? If so for how long?

This is important because if you are living together for two years or more, your partner will also be entitled to seek maintenance for herself from you as well as make a claim on your assets.

If you're past this point, then the discussion is moot, otherwise if you're living together for, say, 18 months it may be time to decide if you genuinely think the relationship is salvageable or not. If you believe that it is not, then cutting your losses and breaking up now (which also means one of you moving out), before the two year deadline elapses, will likely save you a lot of money and litigation.

If you do think it is salvageable, or you're over the two year mark, I would seek couples counselling, to see if this may help.

However, if you do end up splitting, apply immediately for guardianship and access and put together a statement of means detailing your income and expenditure as she will more than likely make an application for maintenance.

Unfortunately, as with guardianship, access is also difficult, if not impossible, to enforce and there is many a father who's been denied court ordered access by the mother "over a mood swing", without any legal consequences.

She does and will hold all the cards, so it's ultimately up to her and her character what will happen in the long term. You have my sympathies.