Scared and Lonely 1st Year Seeking Friendship

Carrow

I'm starting the Journalism course next week, and I have my orientation over and done with, but I'm still terrified. It's not the going away from home and living on my own part that frightens me, nor even the modules which I will be doing (no point being that afraid of something I haven't even done yet) - it's the fact that even after 19 years, I'm still horribly shy, anxious and nervous. I've never been very good at making friends, and it's this social aspect of college life I'm convinced I'm going to fail horribly at. Is there anyone else feeling like this that's doing the same course as me? I feel like if I could start with people in my classes, it would be easier for me to ease into things.

Brow

Well I cant speak on what goes on in journalism but sure I'll weigh with what advice I can give!

First off your most likely not the only one feeling like this! So take a breather.

Since you'll be all care free first years no doubt your first month will be nothing but social events. A class rep will be elected early on whose responsibility will be organising said events, sending invites to your class mailing list so keep your ear to the ground and attend a few.

I did a science course in DCU and one thing that really broke the ice for us was in practicals where you would work in groups, just general chat and banter thrown around so you can get to know one another. I would imagine some sort of group work will be on your course so that's one easy way to start.

There was a fair few people I didnt get to know until second year when we started doing core modules. Turns out they didnt really socialise within our class in first year/were out but I just never met them! Did they suffer for it? God no! Since they were involved in clubs and societies and were living off campus/mingled within their housemates circles of friends they made tonnes of friends.

So to summarise! Dont be worrying, theres loads of opportunities to make friends in and outside of your class, you just need to make the effort also!

Janedoe10

Carrow wrote: »

I'm starting the Journalism course next week, and I have my orientation over and done with, but I'm still terrified. It's not the going away from home and living on my own part that frightens me, nor even the modules which I will be doing (no point being that afraid of something I haven't even done yet) - it's the fact that even after 19 years, I'm still horribly shy, anxious and nervous. I've never been very good at making friends, and it's this social aspect of college life I'm convinced I'm going to fail horribly at. Is there anyone else feeling like this that's doing the same course as me? I feel like if I could start with people in my classes, it would be easier for me to ease into things.

You"ll be fine I swear . This will be a wonderful opportunity to broaden your horizons . Join as much clubs as u can . Check if there is a college rag/magazine if u can help out . Try something that u have not tried before .
In lectures show your friendly face u think u are lonely or scared s not knowing people there , guaranteed there will be so much others in the same boat .

There will be a wide mix . U will notice the ones who are the loudest , the ones hogging the lecturers attention .

I was painfully shy as well but going to UNI was the best thing for me , embrace it though don't cut yourself off .

Come back and tell us how u are getting on and what exciting clubs u have joined . !!!

Knockout_91

Awh OP, you probably won't believe this but you honestly have absolutely nothing to worry about, especially if all you are worried about is making friends.

The night before I started I was a nervous wreck, couldn't sleep, thought I'd make no friends (as I myself am also a shy girl!). But when I went into my first class.. People just came right up to me and introduced themselves! I was shocked at how friendly people were! And this continued to happen thoughout the week.

I went to a different college previous to DCU and I didn't like it at all. I felt the people were all very cliquey but I can tell you now, DCU is a far cry from cliquey! Everyone is just so friendly, theres a lovely atmosphere around the college!

Maybe take up public speaking as one of your societies, that will help you to become more sociable. I am going to do that

Best of luck OP, and if you want to PM me with any questions feel free!

Urizen

I was exactly the same when I started my course a few years back. Group work will get your class talking, don't worry about that. Just try to get out of your head about it. Honestly, it's an organic thing, it'll sort itself out if you don't panic.

And trust me, most of your class will feel the same to start with, it's only natural. I'll be totally honest, it's creeping back up on me myself, starting my new course. But it'll all work out in the end. The only thing is to make sure you don't intentionally isolate yourself, which you may do out of nervousness, but that's really the only pitfall.

I'd recommend joining some Clubs and Societies in Week 2. I met some of my best friends in DCU Socs, and it's an experience you'll carry with you for years. You'd probably like Journalism Soc, maybe Book Soc (my first society, and the one that got me involved in socs). And try one or two of the less mainstream ones too, why not?

Basically, don't worry. Be grand, really

andyman

Since you're a Journalism student I would advise you to join JournoSoc and Media Production Society (MPS). Aside from being very helpful to your course with regards to practice, I know plenty of people in both (I'm in MPS myself on the radio side of things) and the people involved on the committee's this year are very, very welcoming.

I wouldn't panic. College is the kind of thing that people who, in the past, have described themselves like the way you have thrive in. All it takes is to talk to one person and you'll end up talking to others.

Are you living in Larkfield, by any chance?

Carrow

Awh, thanks everyone! You've all raised some very good points, but since Andyman asked: No, I'm living in Hampstead. Thanks for the support, everyone. I've heard a lot of stories about college being the place where people discover themselves, and I'm hoping it'll be the same for me.

Oh, also, I do plan to get involved with DCUfm in a week or two when the Clubs and Socs days are on, so MPS is a given for me.

@Knockout_91 - You can expect a PM at some point this weekend, as I feel like I could learn a thing or two from you.

Yer_Wan

OP, I'm in second year of your course, I'd be happy to walk you through some stuff if you wanted?

sarahguitar92

Hi, I'm first year Multimedia, and I'm feeling exactly the same way as you are! You say you're living in Hampstead, well I'm in Larkfield, so feel free to hang out with me anytime! It sounds like we're both in the same boat. I'm also planning on joining MPS.

I'll send you a PM.

Carrow

Yer_Wan wrote: »

OP, I'm in second year of your course, I'd be happy to walk you through some stuff if you wanted?

I'll keep this in mind, sure - I'll need to actually experience some of the course first, but thanks a lot for the offer.

Zhavey

Don't do any of the media related courses (Computer Applications here), but I'm a first year living in Larkfield - always open for a cup of tea

polkabunny

When I went to college first, it was bloody intimidating (only last year too, bloody hell)! I was nervous as hell, couldn't talk to anyone unless I vaguely knew who they were. I'm a computing student, we're meant to be nervous, but still...
Most of my socialising in DCU started at a boards.ie meetup in the first week, and from talking to societies in the Hub. By knowing one person, I eventually ended up with a great group of friends
My advice is to try and speak up. Say hi to the person next to you on Monday in your first lecture. Everyone is in the same boat, you're in a new place, full of new people. They say it's a small campus, it felt massive for the first few months
Believe it or not, it does come together eventually. For some people it takes time, for some it doesn't. But try not to let your shyness get the best of you, I know it's hard, but I've been dragged fully out of my shell, except for a few nervous mishaps when I get put on the spot.
You can do it, look at all the boardsies that are here, loads of us are DCU students, we can come say hi and hang out with you

Noodleworm

First year can be scary when you start but everyone gets through it. Ive never been a very outgoing person and usually suck at making friends but I managed to meet plenty of people I could get on with in DCU. Theres so many your bound to find someone like you.

But never feel bad about feeling a little isolated at first, because so many people are. When I started I think form the first day of Orientation week I stuck to Gamessoc like glue, they let me spend all my free time playing rock band and board games, I met a lot of people that way.

Basically you have to have a few words with anyone, and if they seem equally lost invite them for lunch, or to come with you while you grab a bite to eat, cup of tea, This awkward lunch is some kind of essential part of the process of getting to know people.

Carrow

Zhavey wrote: »

Don't do any of the media related courses (Computer Applications here), but I'm a first year living in Larkfield - always open for a cup of tea

We can do that tomorrow, if you'd like - just dropped you a PM.

Thanks for the advice, everyone.

iiHyPeRize

Well since I'm also doing journalism this year and haven't really talked to anyone, feel free to PM me on this and we can arrange something :P