Sexuality: why honesty is the best policy

fillefatale

I was reading this article on Guardian Careers today and was wondering what other peoples thoughts and experiences were?

OldNotWIse

So nineties...:(

You dont need to "come out" in work, you just need to "be out"

Nobody wants a clown to go making an issue and saying, "guys I have something to tell you, I'm gay" because nobody cares tbh, we've moved on. If you make a song and dance about your own sexuality, you are giving others permission to do so.

Do what I did, bring your OH to the Christmas party. Self-explanatory, no questions and nobody ars"d reacting because they are too busy having a good time themselves.

Easy.

say_who_now?

While I understand where the author is coming from, most employers and employees won't give a damn about your sexuality, they only care about getting the work done and your performance in your job, not your performance in the bedroom.

whattotdo

Honesty is the best policy,but as was said no need to make a song and dance out of it,just mention it in passing.It would be extremely difficult,impossible really,to hide your sexuality if your in a job-40 hours a week for 30 years.Even if you could hide your sexuality from looking at my gay brothers it would hinder the quality of your life-little things like not been able to introduce work mates to mates from home for fear you'd been outed,hide your partner from your work colleagues,crazy really.Granted some jobs like police,army are traditionally more difficult than others but been 'out' is the best policy from what I can see.

Sir Pompous Righteousness

Honestly, I don't understand why you would want to discuss your sexuality in the workplace, regardless of what your sexuality is, unless the issue actually came up. It doesn't mean you're "closeted" or hiding anything just because you don't discuss or mention your sexuality at work, it just mean you understand that there is a time and a place to discuss these things.

Sure, it might come up at lunch time in a conversation or if the co-workers had a night out and were invited to bring along their partners but I don't understand why you'd want to declare it to everyone.

Also, I also don't necessarily see how declaring your sexuality at work would necessarily empower you and help you achieve more success in your career as the article seems to suggest. If you're at that stage in your life where you are "coming out of the closet" then it's the confidence you gain from not lying to yourself and not being afraid of other finding out that empower you, not necessarily declaring your sexuality to your co-workers.

I think there a different between "in the closet" and not discussing your sexuality. The former implies that you're explicitly lying or hiding your sexuality both to yourself and to other but the latter does not. Not discussing your sexuality can imply that you don't feel the need to discuss it unless the issue comes up.

"Coming out" is mental and social process whereby you finally can accept your own sexuality and are not afraid of others knowing about it. "Coming out" doesn't necessarily imply declaring your sexuality to the world.

There might be exceptions to this, however. For example, if you found out your employer was homophobic, then he/she might make your life a little difficult at work but would stop short of letting you go because of employment laws - although they could try and find another reason to let you go. In that exceptional case, you might want to be a little more low key about your sexuality. Let's face it, the real world isn't as rosy or as accepting as the Guardian newspaper seems to suggest. We don't all work for large multinational organisations like IBM that may have protocol in place to help their LGBT employees.

fillefatale

I'm not siding with the author, or arguing it, I was just interested to see what other people thoughts were. Personally I've never brought it up because for me its not really ever an appropriate thing, in a working environment. It was difficult when I was waitressing because the dynamic and banter of that job was so different to a conservative office environment. I never really discussed it, as it would have been too difficult to go into, especially considering that some of my co-workers were very loud and gossiped. It wasn't a huge deal for me to come out as queer either, so I would never confirm or deny, but then again I was never explicitly asked, so.

OneArt

lol, people laugh at me and tell me my sexuality doesn't exist when I'm honest.

baby and crumble

I think the word 'sexuality' has a lot to answer for. It's really a bit of a misnomer if we're being honest. Sex is a relatively small element of what people call my 'sexuality', yet for reason it is 'inappropriate to discuss sexuality in the workplace'. I'd be interested to find out what this really means- I'm out at work, simply because I'm too lazy to have to remember to anonymise pronouns and all that anymore. But just because people know my 'sexuality' doesn't mean we talk about sex all the time. They just know I have a girlfriend. So they ask after her, she comes to social nights if its a partners included night, etc. I don't see how that's inappropriate. It actually has zero to do witj sex.

Tbh I think I'd be incredibly uncomfortable and slightly wary of working in an environment where nobody spoke about their personal lives. Not to the same degree as you would with all your mates, but not ever talking about your weekend or your partner or anything? Weird.

LegacyUser

I'm not sure if this is a positive or negative thing but because of my job people already assumed i was gay! And assumed any female co-workers were straight(and single i might add) Which was not true!
I guess the assumption made life easier for me in work and ment no akward conversations, however its unfair to the Straight guys (of which there are many) doing my job!



And i'm not a hairdresser!!!.........


my job involves pointing to exits

OldNotWIse

fillefatale wrote: »

I'm not siding with the author, or arguing it, I was just interested to see what other people thoughts were. Personally I've never brought it up because for me its not really ever an appropriate thing, in a working environment. It was difficult when I was waitressing because the dynamic and banter of that job was so different to a conservative office environment. I never really discussed it, as it would have been too difficult to go into, especially considering that some of my co-workers were very loud and gossiped. It wasn't a huge deal for me to come out as queer either, so I would never confirm or deny, but then again I was never explicitly asked, so.

"Appropriate" can be subjective though. I mean, would you consider it "inappropriate" if a female co-worker said something like, "apologies for being late this morning, my boyfriends car wouldnt start so I had to take the bus"? Nobody is asking you to give a blow by blow account of what goes on between the sheets. Saying it is "inappropriate" for you to be honest about your sexuality but not your straight colleagues reminds me a little of the self-imposed "special status" that gay people tend to give themselves all too often. We think other people will "have an issue" or "think it inappropriate" - the reality is, they dont give a damn, and why should they? We're all grown ups and really, being gay is nothing to be ashamed of, but it doesnt make us extra special either

Richie15

"Identifying myself as gay led me to be selected by HR internal talent assessments for specific leadership training."

Not directly, surely? If they chose him for extra training specifically based on his sexual preference, how is that any different to choosing a straight man for the same reason?

Hunchback

baby and crumble wrote: »

I think the word 'sexuality' has a lot to answer for. It's really a bit of a misnomer if we're being honest. Sex is a relatively small element of what people call my 'sexuality', yet for reason it is 'inappropriate to discuss sexuality in the workplace'. I'd be interested to find out what this really means- I'm out at work, simply because I'm too lazy to have to remember to anonymise pronouns and all that anymore. But just because people know my 'sexuality' doesn't mean we talk about sex all the time. They just know I have a girlfriend. So they ask after her, she comes to social nights if its a partners included night, etc. I don't see how that's inappropriate. It actually has zero to do witj sex.

Tbh I think I'd be incredibly uncomfortable and slightly wary of working in an environment where nobody spoke about their personal lives. Not to the same degree as you would with all your mates, but not ever talking about your weekend or your partner or anything? Weird.

fantastic point re the inference derived of the term 'sexuality' - I never quite considered it like that before, and yet it is so true!

fillefatale

OldNotWIse wrote: »

"Appropriate" can be subjective though. I mean, would you consider it "inappropriate" if a female co-worker said something like, "apologies for being late this morning, my boyfriends car wouldnt start so I had to take the bus"? Nobody is asking you to give a blow by blow account of what goes on between the sheets. Saying it is "inappropriate" for you to be honest about your sexuality but not your straight colleagues reminds me a little of the self-imposed "special status" that gay people tend to give themselves all too often. We think other people will "have an issue" or "think it inappropriate" - the reality is, they dont give a damn, and why should they? We're all grown ups and really, being gay is nothing to be ashamed of, but it doesnt make us extra special either

Well yes, maybe it wasn't the right language to use either, but as I am not currently in a relationship I don't really talk about my partners, I don't talk about sex/relationships in my workplace anyway and it wasn't super conservative either.

Duddy

While the whole "GUESS WHAT GUYS" thing is a little 90's, we need to remember that not everyone is as comfortable in their own skin as some of us. Coming out doesn't have to be a song and dance, so to speak; it could be quite secretive and shy, but to a particular person could represent something huge, and they might treat it as such.

I think the main reason the author of this article felt he had to come out was because, as he said, he'd previously been married (to a woman), so perhaps the sudden references to his new boyfriend etc would lead to confusion. In that respect its not quite the same situation that a lot of us here experience. By choosing his moment to tell people, he can "control the story":p

Like one of the posters above, I'd doubt the validity of HR selecting him specifically for leadership training because he came out - its more likely that the manner in which he dealt with the situation marked him as leadership material, or it could just be that he was an exemplary worker!

Its worth noting that IBM have an amazing track record with LGBT rights, for example, bringing in many benefits for partners of LGBT employees long before it was made mandatory, so I'd take the overall message of the article with a pinch of salt - Yes, coming out in a supportive environment will help your career, you'll be happier, more motivated and hence more productive, but, in workplaces that may not be as inclusive as IBM, it may be better to choose your moment, and your audience. The author does touch on this briefly, but in more of a "that's their problem!" way, in doing so not really considering those who can't just up and leave their jobs in the morning!

bikeman1

oaisumer wrote: »

I'm not sure if this is a positive or negative thing but because of my job people already assumed i was gay! And assumed any female co-workers were straight(and single i might add) Which was not true!
I guess the assumption made life easier for me in work and ment no akward conversations, however its unfair to the Straight guys (of which there are many) doing my job!



And i'm not a hairdresser!!!.........


my job involves pointing to exits

"Cabin Crew, your seats please for departure"

"Rear doors, closed for departure, armed and crosschecked"

Lol!

Ambersky

Really hate it when we use the old "dont know why they have to make such a song and dance about it " and "dont know why they need to go waving flags around the place" and "I dont care what they do in their own bedrooms"
against ourselves.
Actually thats whats old. Those statement are so old they have been used to keep us quiet since waaayyyy before the 90's.

Two points.
First point and I hate to go on about this but... if it were not for those who did make such a" song and dance" about it people would not be able to be on here being so cool and carefree about their sexuality. It took and is still taking time and work to get some people in our society ok about LGBT people.
Second point. It is still not ok or cool for some people to be out at work.
Just because you are ok or the people in your workplace are ok, doesnt mean everyone else is in the same situation. Putting all the responsibility on LGBT people themselves for this difficulty is unfair and unrealistic.
You may say this is all just my perception after all you are ok and were brave and strong and had no difficulty and cant see how anyone else could.

Have a look at this.

http://www.glen.ie/subpage.aspx?contentid=345&name=the_issues_lgb_teachers
Or this
http://http://www.glen.ie/subpage.aspx?contentid=43&name=the_issues_lgb_students

Legislative Barriers

Ireland has very progressive and protective legislation for employees across nine grounds including sexual orientation. However the perception is that this legislation does not protect LGB teachers and therefore makes it very difficult for teachers to be ‘out' if they are to protect their jobs. The Employment Equality Acts of 1998 & 2004 (Section 37 i) contains an exemption with regard to religious ethos:

A religious, educational or medical institution which is under the direction or control of a body established for religious purposes or whose objectives include the provision of services in an environment which promotes certain religious values shall not be taken to discriminate against a person for the purposes of this Part or Part II if-

a) it gives more favourable treatment, on the religion ground, to an employee or a prospective employee over that person where it is reasonable to do so in order to maintain the religious ethos of the institution, or

b) it takes action which is reasonably necessary to prevent an employee or a prospective employee from undermining the religious ethos of the institution.

While there have been no cases to date taken on this exemption its presence has an enormously negative impact upon the ability of LGB teachers to be 'out' within the work context. Progress is being made to improve the circumstances of LGB teachers and since the enactment of the Civil Partnership and Certain Rights of Cohabitants Act (2010) greater clarity exists as to their rights and entitlements

Dance anyone?

OldNotWIse

Ambersky wrote: »

Really hate it when we use the old "dont know why they have to make such a song and dance about it " and "dont know why they need to go waving flags around the place" and "I dont care what they do in their own bedrooms"
against ourselves.
Actually thats whats old. Those statement are so old they have been used to keep us quiet since waaayyyy before the 90's.

Two points.
First point and I hate to go on about this but... if it were not for those who did make such a" song and dance" about it people would not be able to be on here being so cool and carefree about their sexuality. It took and is still taking time and work to get some people in our society ok about LGBT people.
Second point. It is still not ok or cool for some people to be out at work.
Just because you are ok or the people in your workplace are ok, doesnt mean everyone else is in the same situation. Putting all the responsibility on LGBT people themselves for this difficulty is unfair and unrealistic.
You may say this is all just my perception after all you are ok and were brave and strong and had no difficulty and cant see how anyone else could.
Have a look at this.
http://www.glen.ie/subpage.aspx?contentid=345&name=the_issues_lgb_teachers

I think the "why do we need to make a song and dance" is younger that the making a song and dance, by nature of the fact that the "song and dance" happened first??

Also, while its great that the "noise" was made to further our rights (and nobody is taking away from that) the point is, this is 2012, it's not really as much of a necessity now as it was say in the 70's.

Finally, nobody is saying, "oh I was so brave and came out and it was wonderful and you have to do the same" - if one wants to stay "in" thats fine. The point is that if you DO decide to come out, it doesn't need to be a big production.

Ambersky

Oldnotwise says
Also, while its great that the "noise" was made to further our rights (and nobody is taking away from that) the point is, this is 2012, it's not really as much of a necessity now as it was say in the 70's..

Homosexuality wasnt decriminalised untill 1993 not way back in the 70s. As in it was illegal to commit homosexual acts, you could go to jail.

if one wants to stay "in" thats fine. The point is that if you DO decide to come out, it doesn't need to be a big production.

Such a lack of empathy for people in other circumstances than your own, putting peoples difficulties down to being a "big production".
It may not be a big production for you and it may not be for the people you know.
There are still plenty of people who for example, read the threads here unregistered and are afraid to come out even to the extent of registering onto an anonymous LGBT forum like this. Fear is still here in 2012. There are still posters on this site every now and again, seeking help in coming out.
Work is often the last place people feel free to come out in. Coming out is a process.

Some people have real fear of social exclusion especially in small communities.
Some people have real and reasonable fears that by coming out at work they will face discrimination they can not prove, in the form of exclusion from promotion.
Some peoples work colleagues can be heard making queer jokes all the time and some people don't feel strong enough or just dont want to be the brunt of those jokes.
Some people have already been beaten up for being gay and want their work place to be safe. I Know someone personally ( In 2012) who having already lost one job because the clients were "not comfortable" with him, does not feel safe to come out at work.

And I have already said, now, in 2012 there is a exemption in the Equal Status Act that means people who work in Religious run Institutions like schools and hospitals do not have their jobs protected in law.

floggg

Coming out, or not coming out, is a personal thing. It's for the person themselves to decide if, how and when they do it.

Some people can do it low key by casually mentioning their partners. For others though it can be, or be perceived to be, a bigger deal.

Let each person decide themselves. It doesn't necessarily have to be a big deal in many work places. In some though it will be. And even if its not, if the person wants to make it a big deal that's their call.

Ambersky

I think the "why do we need to make a song and dance" is younger that the making a song and dance, by nature of the fact that the "song and dance" happened first??

My point is discrimination happened first.
Then some gays handled what was happening to them privately and individually.
The discrimination continued, in fact strengthened.
Gays continued to see discrimination as their own personal problem.
The discrimination got rougher, bars were regularly raided, schoolchildren were taught not to be gay or to go near gays.

Then LGBT people stood up together and fought back, notably in Stonewall and politically ie Gay Rights Movement eg NLGF.

There was a lash back and attempts to stop LGBT people from getting civil rights (pro family and christian groups, etc) these people wanted gays to just go back and stop making such a song and dance about things. etc etc
Efforts to bring about change were belittled by using phrases like "song and dance" to imply LGBT people were making too much of a fuss about nothing.

Right wing groups wanted the gay issue to revert back to being a Private Issue. eg "Dont care what they do in the privacy of their own homes".
As a private issue it is much easier to pick on individuals and for those individuals to be kept quiet because they think it is just them, as individuals having a problem.

Example of Anti Gay Propaganda before song and dance was made about it.

OldNotWIse

Ambersky wrote: »

Homosexuality wasnt decriminalised untill 1993 not way back in the 70s. As in it was illegal to commit homosexual acts, you could go to jail.



Such a lack of empathy for people in other circumstances than your own, putting peoples difficulties down to being a "big production".
It may not be a big production for you and it may not be for the people you know.
There are still plenty of people who for example, read the threads here unregistered and are afraid to come out even to the extent of registering onto an anonymous LGBT forum like this. Fear is still here in 2012. There are still posters on this site every now and again, seeking help in coming out.
Work is often the last place people feel free to come out in. Coming out is a process.

Some people have real fear of social exclusion especially in small communities.
Some people have real and reasonable fears that by coming out at work they will face discrimination they can not prove, in the form of exclusion from promotion.
Some peoples work colleagues can be heard making queer jokes all the time and some people don't feel strong enough or just dont want to be the brunt of those jokes.
Some people have already been beaten up for being gay and want their work place to be safe. I Know someone personally ( In 2012) who having already lost one job because the clients were "not comfortable" with him, does not feel safe to come out at work.

And I have already said, now, in 2012 there is a exemption in the Equal Status Act that means people who work in Religious run Institutions like schools and hospitals do not have their jobs protected in law.

Excuse you but I think you have a bit of an agenda here. I'm not saying your post is necesarily wrong but you are sensationalising a bit (for example, using the second hand experience of one person you know to make a point about an entire group of people).

The person you "know personally" should take a case and make an example of this company. That would be a far better investment of one's time than waving a flag.

I stand by what I said, as long as an issue is made, an issue will always exist.

(By the way, I know what decriminalised means)

OldNotWIse

Amber I just re-read my post and it comes across as really bitch (prob because it is) so apologies. I'm could delete but that woudl be cheating

Sorry again

ps I actually should know the difficulties you speak of - my OH isnt out to her parents and I had a hellish time with them when we travelled to their country earlier in the year and I had to be the "special friend" :rolleyes:

Ambersky

I always think is a sign of strength to apologise. On my side 20 years of being closeted at work before there was any equality legislation has me a bit touchy. You may be right that I am an old card carrying, flag waving, singing and dancing Dyke. But hey someone has to do it. X

cartell_best

Guys, we are, as the entire planet is, at a stage where I hope where matters such as sexual orientation is slowly becoming a part of acceptable human nature, and as such it has a place in life where it is becoming but merely a memory. I never made it a directive in my life, nor did a lot of my friends, to need or want to make it a point in our lives to make people realise that there are gay people out there, wanting to make everyone know that we were there and knowing and hoping people would realise we are human beings, like every single person on the planet. The thing is, they know we are human and being gay is human!

Things change, as do people. We are living on a planet that is changing, changing quite rapidly. In my time gracing this planet, I have seen quite a few things change. I believe (and I say that as a gay man), we have come a long way. I don't tell people I'm gay, because I believe its the norm for people to assume. Assumption, is an individual decision, but it has been known to create hostility. Maybe I'm just one of the lucky one's, maybe I got off lightly? I work in an environment where not everyone knows I'm gay, not because they weren’t granted to know that, but more so somebody's decision to judge. My workmates, they don’t care about my sexuality, nor do they care about my love life. The same could be said for my work mate who is pregnant, she’s not married, she’s with her partner all of I think 12 months. The thing is, a lot of people don’t care.

As I said, maybe I’m the lucky one, or maybe I’m a person not watching for the little indiscretions in life that people seem to exert like a gag reflex, which in my opinion is everyone, but never malicious.

wonderfulname

Figured I'd weigh in at this point, in my head I "came out" about 8 or 9 years ago, even though it was as the wrong thing at this point I'm past needing to make a statement as to who or what I am, or who I'm interested in. I don't hide anything, but I won't be making any office or class announcements any time soon.

On the flip side I know teachers, in catholic schools, people who are acutely aware their career progression has been affected by how well their lives fit the catholic "ethos", people who are closeted not only in work, but in the communities they work in. If everyone affected by the "ethos" of discrimination stood up for whatever about them that "ethos" stands against, that would be pretty awesome, and not at all "90's", but am I going to impress upon an individual that it's all fine and dandy to be out at work in an environment where being unmarried isn't even entirely approved of? Heck no.

whattotdo

It's amazing that even in Uganda some people are 'out' where been honest could threaten your life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV0tS6G8NNU&feature=related

Ambersky

There are a few problems here as I see it.
I don't think it is a good idea to measure the difficulty of a particular issue by how difficult or not, it is for you. I don't think this is a good measure to use either on a small human work scale or on a worldwide scale.
Secondly I don think it is a good idea to play a game of who is the most discriminated against. It is better if we just try to get rid of discrimination when and where we can and working together around issues not against one another.

cartel_best says
Guys, we are, as the entire planet is, at a stage where I hope where matters such as sexual orientation is slowly becoming a part of acceptable human nature, and as such it has a place in life where it is becoming but merely a memory.........

As I said, maybe I’m the lucky one, or maybe I’m a person not watching for the little indiscretions in life that people seem to exert like a gag reflex, which in my opinion is everyone, but never malicious.

I think this world map showing the situation on the human rights of LGBT people around the world will answer your comments on the "gag reflexes" of others to the little indiscretions that are made on the entire plantet towards LGBT people or the statement you make that those little indiscretions are never ever malicious.



To point out that LGBT rights in some areas around the world are in a pretty poor state and that particularly in Africa things may be actually getting worse at the moment not better.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_by_country_or_territory is not to engage in competition over who's the worst oppressed. We can choose to work together not against one another. In areas where there is one discrimination it usually goes hand in hand with other discrimination's. Anti Gay communities often have poor conditions for women for example.The Black Civil Rights Movement in the USA in the 60s helped spark off other groups looking for their civil rights too.

We dont have to all live in our own bubble thinking that what goes on there is a measure of how it is for anyone else.
There is no need to go putting down the reactions of those who are seen as only being discriminated against a little bit and suggesting it is better to say nothing until the issues of those who are seen as having bigger problems are sorted out.

wonderfulname says
If everyone affected by the "ethos" of discrimination stood up for whatever about them that "ethos" stands against, that would be pretty awesome, and not at all "90's" ,

Yes that is exactly what we are hoping and working for.

but am I going to impress upon an individual that it's all fine and dandy to be out at work in an environment where being unmarried isn't even entirely approved of? Heck no.

Dont know what you meant by that because I thought you were saying earlier that there was no problem for anyone coming out at work and that there was no need nowadays to go making a big production about it.
Is it that you can now see that some people may have a difficulty coming out at work. People working in areas that have a religious, not just a catholic ethos, may have difficulty coming out as the laws protecting them seem to be unclear and the ethos is anti gay?
Is it that you see that this problem affects not only LGBT people but as you rightly say it also affects heterosexual people who are pregnant and not married, or living together and not married or are not church goers or use contraception if they are catholics etc.

Anyway wouldnt it be great if we just worked together to end discrimination wherever it is to be found, starting at our own front doors, and not putting anyone down for being upset about discrimination and supporting them to end it instead.

wonderfulname

Ambersky wrote: »

wonderfulname says
If everyone affected by the "ethos" of discrimination stood up for whatever about them that "ethos" stands against, that would be pretty awesome, and not at all "90's" ,

Yes that is exactly what we are hoping and working for.

but am I going to impress upon an individual that it's all fine and dandy to be out at work in an environment where being unmarried isn't even entirely approved of? Heck no.

Dont know what you meant by that because I thought you were saying earlier that there was no problem for anyone coming out at work and that there was no need nowadays to go making a big production about it.
Is it that you can now see that some people may have a difficulty coming out at work. People working in areas that have a religious, not just a catholic ethos, may have difficulty coming out as the laws protecting them seem to be unclear and the ethos is anti gay?
Is it that you see that this problem affects not only LGBT people but as you rightly say it also affects heterosexual people who are pregnant and not married, or living together and not married or are not church goers or use contraception if they are catholics etc.

I've never said there was no problem for anyone coming out in the workplace, that was my only post on this thread, are you mixing me up with someone else? I have always seen there are difficulties in some areas, I believe the law is very clear, in that it openly washes it's hands of any conflict arising from religous based discrimination, the ethos can be whatever it wants so long as it is based in religon, it could be openly racist if it wanted, it would probably take that for people to see the absurdity.

Yes, I am getting in a dig at the perception that this is solely a gay rights issue, the proposed ammendment a while back absolutely sickened me, the idea that people would seek equality for some and not others is disgraceful IMO, but mainly I was illustrating by example that the experiences here are not indicative of everyones, and people should be mindful of that, I do fear that when the majority of LGBs feel gay isn't an issue anymore there will be people left out in the cold, with nobody fighting their corner.

Ambersky

Yes thanks for that, I see what you mean about the proposed amendment . I did misunderstand you and mix you up earlier thanks for clarification, cant even think straight at this stage, as they say.

jabarrett35

I think it depends on where you work, I trained at a London teaching hospital we had such fun it was a bit hard to hide your sexuality, when you are going out with a med student! However in an office I can't see why it would need to be discussed unless someone asks.

aja123

yes honesty is the best policy. i always agree with this. no matter what you gotta be honest