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Stupid Cows

  • 21-09-2012 1:59am
    #1
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭


    Keeping me awake they are :(

    Mooing away all night, I wonder is there much research going into conversing with them in their bovine language, or even learning them English. Love to tell them to go the fluck to sleep.


Comments

  • #2
    vicwatson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,404 ✭✭✭✭vicwatson


    Stupid Pig = Dog


  • #3
    Aint Eazy Being Cheezy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,632 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    Obviously you've never discovered the fun of cow tipping!


  • #4
    BillyMitchel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,324 ✭✭✭BillyMitchel


    Do some cow tipping for the craic or moo back?

    Waving a piece of steak in their face will also work.

    Mooooo mooooo moooooo


  • #5
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    vicwatson wrote: »
    Stupid Pig = Dog
    Babe was some pig.
    Or was that Charlotte's Web?

    I can't remember, I'm tired and my ears
    are ringing with the cattle lowing. I feel just like the baby Jesus.:(


  • #6
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    jar_of_coins wrote: »
    Obviously you've never discovered the fun of cow tipping!
    They're in a slatted house. More sh1ttin than tippin. . .


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  • #7
    Tombi!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,689 ✭✭✭Tombi!


    Get a shotgun or a rifle and you have mince in the morning!


  • #8
    Mickey H
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,822 ✭✭✭Mickey H


    Mmmmm. Cows are tasty. Especially with chips and salad.


  • #9
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Moo. Moo mooo moo moo moo moo. Moo moo? moo moo moo, moo moo moo moo moo moo.

    Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo, moo "moo moo moo?". Moo moo moo moo moo!!! :mad::mad:



    Edit: Moo moo mooooo!!!!


  • #10
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    Abi wrote: »
    Moo. Moo mooo moo moo moo moo. Moo moo? moo moo moo, moo moo moo moo moo moo.

    Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo, moo "moo moo moo?". Moo moo moo moo moo!!! :mad::mad:



    Edit: Moo moo mooooo!!!!
    I know, but it's still not very nice. I'll try that in future then. Thanks :)


  • #11
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Where To wrote: »
    I know, but it's still not very nice. I'll try that in future then. Thanks :)

    Moo moo moo :)


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  • #12
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Where To wrote: »
    Keeping me awake they are :(

    Mooing away all night, I wonder is there much research going into conversing with them in their bovine language, or even learning them English. Love to tell them to go the fluck to sleep.

    Seagulls are probably every bit as bad, **** had me awake every night for about 3 weeks there a while back. Looks like the cunts have fooked off now tho thank God!


  • #13
    pookiesboo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,666 ✭✭✭pookiesboo


    maybe its you keeping them up with your inane typing at 3 in the morning


  • #14
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    pookiesboo wrote: »
    maybe its you keeping them up with your inane typing at 3 in the morning

    Unlikely I'd say......


  • #15
    pookiesboo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,666 ✭✭✭pookiesboo


    kfallon wrote: »
    Unlikely I'd say......



    Likely i'd say


  • #16
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,230 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    If you don't like listening to cows, moooove into the city.


  • #17
    WoollyRedHat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    I wonder how they sound when they're having sex.

    And think about it, if a cow is pleasuring another cow, it must be great, because at the end of it, they're getting some milk themselves.
    But maybe Cows don't like milk, maybe it's like cannibalism, I heard somewhere that's how the Mad Cow Disease thing started out, they all started drinking each other's milk and went mad out of it.


  • #18
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,230 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    WoollyRedHat wrote: »
    I wonder how they sound when they're having sex.

    And think about it, if a cow is pleasuring another cow, it must be great, because at the end of it, they're getting some milk themselves.
    But maybe Cows don't like milk, maybe it's like cannibalism, I heard somewhere that's how the Mad Cow Disease thing started out, they all started drinking each other's milk and went mad out of it.

    They probably sound like Barry White.


  • #19
    bbam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,410 ✭✭✭bbam


    Where To wrote: »
    Keeping me awake they are :(

    Mooing away all night, I wonder is there much research going into conversing with them in their bovine language, or even learning them English. Love to tell them to go the fluck to sleep.

    They've probably just had their calves taken away...
    It'll go on for a few days...


  • #20
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    ejmaztec wrote: »
    If you don't like listening to cows, moooove into the city.
    One could argue that there are stupid cows in the city too :pac:


  • #21
    V_Moth
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,423 ✭✭✭V_Moth


    Have you asked the King of Moo for help? I am sure he'll grant your request..


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  • #22
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,230 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    Abi wrote: »
    One could argue that there are stupid cows in the city too :pac:

    I thought cowism wasn't allowed on here?:confused:






    :p


  • #23
    Rosy Posy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,666 ✭✭✭Rosy Posy


    They've probably just had their calves taken off them. They pine for them for a few days. Bloody barbaric meat/dairy industry.


  • #24
    RikkFlair
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,109 ✭✭✭RikkFlair


    Ah pull the udder one!


  • #25
    Son Of A Vidic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,370 ✭✭✭✭Son Of A Vidic


    Abi wrote: »
    Moo. Moo mooo moo moo moo moo. Moo moo? moo moo moo, moo moo moo moo moo moo.

    Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo, moo "moo moo moo?". Moo moo moo moo moo!!! :mad::mad:



    Edit: Moo moo mooooo!!!!

    It looks like someone had a very good night last night.


  • #26
    Valetta
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,611 ✭✭✭Valetta


    The replies to this thread are so predictable.

    Typical herd mentality.


  • #27
    gobnaitolunacy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,073 ✭✭✭gobnaitolunacy


    Rosy Posy wrote: »
    They've probably just had their calves taken off them. They pine for them for a few days. Bloody barbaric meat/dairy industry.

    Calves are born in the start of the year, VERY much doubt that they'd be still with calves now! Probably pissed off with being indoors (if they are indoors)

    If outdoors, probably pissed off with the field they're in. Very picky about the condition of the grass they eat.

    Sheep/horses eat pretty much anything green in a field without complaint. If grass is a bit trodden on a cow will turn her nose up at it.


  • #28
    Duggy747
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    Must. resist. sexist. joke......


  • #29
    WoollyRedHat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    ejmaztec wrote: »
    They probably sound like Barry White.

    God help whoever has to put up with that then.


  • #30
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,230 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    Any more cow puns, or have they been milked to death?


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  • #31
    gobnaitolunacy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,073 ✭✭✭gobnaitolunacy


    WoollyRedHat wrote: »
    I wonder how they sound when they're having sex.

    And think about it, if a cow is pleasuring another cow, it must be great, because at the end of it, they're getting some milk themselves.
    But maybe Cows don't like milk, maybe it's like cannibalism, I heard somewhere that's how the Mad Cow Disease thing started out, they all started drinking each other's milk and went mad out of it.

    (a) surprisingly quiet

    (b) mad cow disease happened when people fed ground-up dead cows to cows.


  • #32
    Red21
    Closed Accounts Posts: 594 ✭✭✭Red21


    Where To wrote: »
    Keeping me awake they are :(

    Mooing away all night, I wonder is there much research going into conversing with them in their bovine language, or even learning them English. Love to tell them to go the fluck to sleep.
    As most calves are born in spring you'll always hear cows doing a bit of mooing in sept/oct, these stupid cows are frantically looking for their kids. They don't understand that their babies who they have been looking after for the last 6 months are on the way to be chopped up and put in the freezer to feed our kids. Thats the deal and that has always been the deal.
    The best way to communicate this to the cow is go down to BurgerKing buy the biggest burger you can find, unwrap and eat this burger in front of the cow showing her how much pleasure you're getting from from her chopped up calf, that way she'll gain a better understanding of her place in this world, she'll shut-up and stop her bloody whinging.


  • #33
    seven_eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,558 ✭✭✭seven_eleven


    Cows are adorable.


  • #34
    bbam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,410 ✭✭✭bbam


    gobnaitolunacy wrote: »
    Calves are born in the start of the year, VERY much doubt that they'd be still with calves now!.

    Yep..
    Beef cows will have calves with them all summer, now is the time for weaning them off... Calves and cows will bawl the place down for a few days, then they'll be OK, such is life !


  • #35
    bbam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,410 ✭✭✭bbam


    WoollyRedHat wrote: »
    But maybe Cows don't like milk, maybe it's like cannibalism, I heard somewhere that's how the Mad Cow Disease thing started out, they all started drinking each other's milk and went mad out of it.

    This is the funniest thing I heard in a long time... I dont even care if your winding us up or deadly serious... its so off the mark its funny :D


  • #36
    Plazaman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,012 ✭✭✭Plazaman


    Abi wrote: »
    Moo. Moo mooo moo moo moo moo. Moo moo? moo moo moo, moo moo moo moo moo moo.

    Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo, moo "moo moo moo?". Moo moo moo moo moo!!! :mad::mad:

    Edit: Moo moo mooooo!!!!

    :eek: Jesus, the language outta that one. Wash your mouth out with soap young lady. And how come the swear filters aren't picking that up?

    Moo m****oo moo **** me hole.


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  • #37
    Valetta
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,611 ✭✭✭Valetta


    Don't ever bring a cow upstairs in your house.

    They can climb stairs, but cannot come back down.


  • #38
    Plazaman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,012 ✭✭✭Plazaman


    Valetta wrote: »
    Don't ever bring a cow upstairs in your house.

    They can climb stairs, but cannot come back down.

    You've obviously never met my ex girlfriend.


  • #39
    Valetta
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,611 ✭✭✭Valetta


    Plazaman wrote: »
    You've obviously never met my ex girlfriend.

    Think I asked for that.

    Was she moody?


  • #40
    tin79
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,270 ✭✭✭tin79


    They were probably just cold. It was fresian last night.


  • #41
    pookiesboo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,666 ✭✭✭pookiesboo


    Red21 wrote: »
    As most calves are born in spring you'll always hear cows doing a bit of mooing in sept/oct, these stupid cows are frantically looking for their kids. They don't understand that their babies who they have been looking after for the last 6 months are on the way to be chopped up and put in the freezer to feed our kids. Thats the deal and that has always been the deal.
    The best way to communicate this to the cow is go down to BurgerKing buy the biggest burger you can find, unwrap and eat this burger in front of the cow showing her how much pleasure you're getting from from her chopped up calf, that way she'll gain a better understanding of her place in this world, she'll shut-up and stop her bloody whinging.


    Oh Red21, you're so controversial, its like we have Frankie Boyle on Boards,hilarious! "bring the cow down to Burger King to meet his child", this fella needs a microphone and a spotlight... *sarcastic face smilie*


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  • #42
    Rented Mule
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,153 ✭✭✭Rented Mule


    Abi wrote: »
    Moo. Moo mooo moo moo moo moo. Moo moo? moo moo moo, moo moo moo moo moo moo.

    Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo, moo "moo moo moo?". Moo moo moo moo moo!!! :mad::mad:



    Edit: Moo moo mooooo!!!!

    If this doesn't win post of the day, I am going to be very disappointed. The edit nearly had my tea all over my monitor.

    I don't know who you are or where you come from Abi, but Mooo to you !!


  • #43
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,230 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    tin79 wrote: »
    They were probably just cold. It was fresian last night.

    They should have had Jerseys.


  • #44
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    Where To wrote: »
    Keeping me awake they are :(

    Mooing away all night, I wonder is there much research going into conversing with them in their bovine language, or even learning them English. Love to tell them to go the fluck to sleep.
    V_Moth wrote: »
    Have you asked the King of Moo for help? I am sure he'll grant your request..

    It's done, the cows will bother you no more.
    Abi wrote: »
    Moo. Moo mooo moo moo moo moo. Moo moo? moo moo moo, moo moo moo moo moo moo.

    Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo, moo "moo moo moo?". Moo moo moo moo moo!!! :mad::mad:



    Edit: Moo moo mooooo!!!!

    Sixteen, maybe seventeen if they're in a good mood.
    seven_eleven wrote: »
    Cows are adorable.

    Thanks.
    WoollyRedHat wrote: »
    I wonder how they sound when they're having sex.

    I gently sing "When I Need Love" by Leo Sayer.


  • #45
    newmug
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,571 ✭✭✭newmug


    WoollyRedHat wrote: »
    I wonder how they sound when they're having sex.

    And think about it, if a cow is pleasuring another cow, it must be great......


    Lesbian cows?????


  • #46
    WoollyRedHat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    newmug wrote: »
    Lesbian cows?????

    Bull****!


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