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Man accused of raping duck....

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Comments

  • #2
    El Guapo!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,438 ✭✭✭✭El Guapo!


    WTD???? :eek:


  • #3
    Smidge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    In before

    F*ck a Duck:P


  • #4
    Savage Tyrant
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,165 ✭✭✭Savage Tyrant


    Do you know what the number 1 cause of duck rape is?

    Sexy slutty ducks...


  • #5
    squod
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,704 ✭✭✭squod


    He's quackers


  • #6
    Jesus Shaves
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,959 ✭✭✭Jesus Shaves


    i hear the duck was fair game


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  • #7
    DarkJager
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,960 ✭✭✭DarkJager


    I wonder if he also tried buquacke?


  • #8
    El Guapo!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,438 ✭✭✭✭El Guapo!


    I know it's a horrible horrible story and the accused guy is a sick freak, but this bit just cracked me up....
    The duck was "unable to walk," according to the father-in-law.


  • #9
    plumbball
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31 ✭plumbball


    The duck consented though everyone knows ducks are sluts.


  • #10
    Fromthetrees
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭Fromthetrees


    Maybe he was playing hook-a-duck????
    Innocent until proven guilty an all that jazz.


  • #11
    Varied
    Closed Accounts Posts: 725 ✭✭✭Varied


    Accully iz Dolan.


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  • #12
    Smidge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    Dean09 wrote: »
    I know it's a horrible horrible story and the accused guy is a sick freak, but this bit just cracked me up....

    The duck was married:eek:


  • #13
    Nodin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    Dean09 wrote: »
    I know it's a horrible horrible story and the accused guy is a sick freak, but this bit just cracked me up....

    Waddlin all over the shop.


  • #14
    smurgen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,933 ✭✭✭smurgen


    periodictable wrote: »
    You think you've heard it all then this crops up:confused:

    http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/man-rapes-duck-in-turkish-village-.aspx?PageID=238&NID=30133&NewsCatID=341

    Ha ha ha one of the funniest articles i've read in a while.imagine your mother in law finding ya in bed with a duck!


  • #15
    JoeGil
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 143 ✭✭JoeGil


    Duck stuffed in Turkey.


  • #16
    mikemac1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    Smidge wrote: »
    The duck was married:eek:

    She led him on, the hussey!


  • #17
    Boombastic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,496 ✭✭✭Boombastic


    Did he restrain it with duck tape? :pac:


  • #18
    Varied
    Closed Accounts Posts: 725 ✭✭✭Varied


    I'm not looking forward to the news stories when wabbit season is upon us. :(


  • #19
    Smidge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    The 50 year-old suspect denied all accusations, calling them all "slander."

    I think he may have meant "Gander"


  • #20
    girl2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 654 ✭✭✭girl2


    No fukkin joke……as each day goes by, I am losing more and more faith in the human race.

    Sick sick world.


  • #21
    clappyhappy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,781 ✭✭✭clappyhappy


    All the chicks must have been gone, variety is the spice of life after all, with a bit of orange or bbq sauce.


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  • #22
    RidleyRider
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,783 ✭✭✭RidleyRider


    I heard he got a good shot in the duck..


  • #23
    plumbball
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31 ✭plumbball


    Would you eat the duck afterwards,

    That is interesting creamy stuffing you made there.


  • #24
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Dean09 wrote: »
    I know it's a horrible horrible story and the accused guy is a sick freak, but this bit just cracked me up....

    That's a quacker alright.


  • #25
    later12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,299 ✭✭✭✭later12


    I know that fellow.
    he's as tight as a Duck's arse.


  • #26
    say_who_now?
    Closed Accounts Posts: 925 ✭✭✭say_who_now?


    The man tried to duck out the back but the bird kept egging him on! :D


  • #27
    Smidge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    I reckon the duck did lead him on, I mean she had put on perfume.





    It was an aromatic duck.










    I'll see myself out


  • #28
    Ted_YNWA
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 71,802 ✭✭✭✭Ted_YNWA


    I just did it for the quack your honour .


  • #29
    say_who_now?
    Closed Accounts Posts: 925 ✭✭✭say_who_now?


    plumbball wrote: »
    Would you eat the duck afterwards,

    That is interesting creamy stuffing you made there.


    Sure everybody loves a creme egg, I like to scoop it out with my tongue! :p


  • #30
    Pottler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,073 ✭✭✭Pottler


    Shouldn't mock him, he's clearly quackers. Anyway, the Duck led him on, he had a gander at its breast on its webbcam, turned out it was just a decoy- the real one was all crispy and wanton.


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  • #31
    akura
    Closed Accounts Posts: 497 ✭✭akura


    Daffy Duck calls the hotel desk & asks for a condom. They ask “Shall we put it on your bill” Daffy says “are u thucking thupid I’ll thuffocate!”


  • #32
    Smidge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    I wonder did he use a rubber with the ducky?


  • #33
    a fat guy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 800 ✭✭✭a fat guy


    "I didn't touch it, I swear! I was only peking!"


  • #34
    My name is URL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,070 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    How do they know it was rape?


  • #35
    LiamMc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 906 ✭✭✭LiamMc


    Rape is a Gender crime, in Ireland only blokes can get accused of Rape. The best a woman can hope for is Assisted Rape.

    The headline 'Man Accused of Rape' is as normal as 'Woman Gives Birth to New Born'.


  • #36
    My name is URL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,070 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    LiamMc wrote: »
    Rape is a Gender crime, in Ireland only blokes can get accused of Rape. The best a woman can hope for is Assisted Rape.

    The headline 'Man Accused of Rape' is as normal as 'Woman Gives Birth to New Born'.

    Okey dokey...

    Do you have any links to these women giving birth to ducks?


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  • #37
    Smidge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    My name is URL wrote: »
    How do they know it was rape?

    Are saying the duck was asking for it?:mad:

    In this day and age that attitude is barbary-ous!


  • #38
    galwayrush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    My name is URL wrote: »
    How do they know it was rape?

    The duck was asking for it...


  • #39
    efb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    Gooby pls


  • #40
    Jarren
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,692 ✭✭✭Jarren


    Poor animal


  • #41
    ArtyM
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,879 ✭✭✭ArtyM


    Ted_YNWA wrote: »
    I just did it for the quack your honour Ma'Lard
    fyp


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  • #42
    iamstop
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 12,875 Mod ✭✭✭✭iamstop


    I've heard of getting down FROM a duck, not WITH a duck.

    https://open.spotify.com/album/69JKwCcZGdLqX4Upj3DwP7



  • #43
    My name is URL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,070 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    Smidge wrote: »
    Are saying the duck was asking for it?:mad:

    In this day and age that attitude is barbary-ous!

    No, I was just trying to picture a duck giving the police a statement and appearing in court making a right tit* of itself.

    dammit.. wrong species


  • #44
    It BeeMee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 748 ✭✭✭It BeeMee


    "Quack! Quack!"

    "I'm going as quack as I can..."


  • #45
    Myrddin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 33,733 ✭✭✭✭Myrddin


    Deranged freak


  • #46
    Sir Pompous Righteousness
    Closed Accounts Posts: 437 ✭✭Sir Pompous Righteousness


    It's been a long time since I laughed so much about rape.


  • #47
    Blondini
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,480 ✭✭✭Blondini


    Spunk off a ducks back ...


  • #48
    Talib Fiasco
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,428 ✭✭✭Talib Fiasco


    Misplaced the pillow by chance?


  • #49
    mitosis
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,000 ✭✭✭mitosis


    The duck underwent several operations and is recovering.


    They operated several times on a duck?


    Don't they have oranges in Turkey?


  • #50
    The Gride
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 199 ✭✭The Gride


    Duck raped by a Turk.......ey


  • #51
    senorwipesalot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,458 ✭✭✭senorwipesalot


    What ever about ridin the arse off a sexy duck,turkeys are always good for a gobble.


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