Girlfriend constantly tired and unenergetic

LegacyUser

Hi,

Have been going out with my girlfriend for the last 8mths now. All in all its an excellent relationship. I love her to bits, and she does seem to reciprocate the same.
There have been a few ups and downs and minor arguments here and there but what couple doesn't have them They were always settled and resolved and we never go to sleep angry with each other.

The thing is, and I know there isn't much can be done really, but it is really beginning to annoy and irk me. She is constantly tired. We both work, and I have other commitments outside of work too so inevitably we will be tired now and then. I live in my own apt and she still is at home. What gets me, and its happened maybe four or five times in the last two three months is that she will cancel meeting up just cause she is tired and that.
It is really annoying, especially if for example I have a surprise dinner cooked for her or something really nice planned. Then that idea has to get scrapped and I feel like a complete tool .
She is always tired and days after a night out she is unmovable from the couch nearly. Although usually its my couch so its not too bad, I get some company.

I could bring it up with her but I just dont want to look like a fool who is obsessed or clingy. Im not. We do our own things and socialise both individually and together.

Has anyone else experienced this, or have ways for me to hint to her about it.

username123

Do you think she genuinely is just too tired on occasions that she cancels things, or is being too tired her excuse not to do things occasionally?

Maybe she needs to speak to her GP? Someone shouldnt consistently be too tired to meet up with their boyfriend if they are just living a reasonably normal life (unless there have been extraordinary events or she has shift work or a particularly demanding job or some other genuine reason?).

HeyThereDeliah

It's normal to be tired and I feel you are making more out of this then is necessary. If she knew you had dinner planned and cancelled then that would be unfair of her.
Everyone gets tired and changes plans at the last minute on the odd occasion it's not a big deal unless it's happening weekly.

Mickey Dazzler

Did you consider that she might be out with another man and just using the tired story as an excuse?

Abi

Mickey Dazzler wrote: »

Did you consider that she might be out with another man and just using the tired story as an excuse?

I wouldn't jump to conclusions.


OP, you won't come across as ossessed or clingy. What you've been doing for her is lovely, you just have to tell her it disappoints you when she doesn't come over. She's not to know you've made surprise dinners for her. It's a lovely idea and all, but you both have busy lifestyles.

If you give her plenty of notice maybe she can prepare herself better. There's nothing worse than a hectic day where all you want to do after is crash.

Try not to get annoyed with her. If you told her tonight to head for your place tomorrow night after work, she could bring a set of fresh clothes with her and you could have a nice hot bath ready for her arrival with dinner in the oven. A nice bath or shower always freshens and stuns me awake

I highly doubt she is deliberately doing this, have the chat and work it out.

a fat guy

Mickey Dazzler wrote: »

Did you consider that she might be out with another man and just using the tired story as an excuse?

Despite that often being the first thing suggested on this board when there's relationship trouble, I'm going to have to disagree this time!

OP, if you want to change her from being tired to being energetic, then why not simply suggest that she go to bed earlier? That way you come off as more caring than clingly, since you're just looking out for her.

ManOfMystery

Mickey Dazzler wrote: »

Did you consider that she might be out with another man and just using the tired story as an excuse?

Did you consider that she might just be .......... tired? Suggesting there could be an affair going on is a bit of a huge reach considering the facts available to us!

OP, tiredness is not something we can just switch on and off easily so don't get too mad at her. First off, do you think her tiredness is a result of working long hours, or the work being stressful? If that's the case then perhaps she needs to approach her work differently, or try and take more breaks.

Her tiredness could also be down to a bad diet, with her body not getting the correct vitamins and such that it needs. What are her eating habits like?

Does she get enough sleep, or is she up late most nights?

Does she go to the gym or exercise? If not, it might be worth suggesting it or doing it together. Whether her tiredness is work or diet related, exercise along with the proper diet will increase her metabolism and make her feel more energised.

Finally, if she already exercises, doesn't have a tiring job, eats well, and you think her tiredness is actually abnormal for someone of her age, it could be a medical issue - in which case she should see her doctor. We can't (and shouldn't) diagnose on here but there are a number of medical conditions which can cause extreme tiredness.

marymarcy

Perhaps she is unwell? I have suffered from chronic fatigue and would be just about able to cope with work, had to spend all evenings and weekends lying down. Maybe she needs to see her GP to rule out medical issues such as hypothyroidism?

Piliger

Hi OP. I don't think this level of tiredness is normal and something else is at play here. Either she is totally apathetic or there is a physical or mental health issue. I have some ideas but we are not allowed to mention possible health issues here.

Glendambo

I was your girlfriend 6 months ago. Constantly tired to the point where I couldn't face meeting up with people on my bad days. I went to the doctor and got my bloods checked and it turns out I have a vitamin b12 deficiency. The doctor said I was lucky I hadn't lost my hair it was so low. It is also a factor in depression and if left unchecked for a long time can lead to some serious problems.

This was unfortunately coupled with low iron and folio acid which means I can't have the injections. I'm now taking antidepressants and an array of supplements, I've cleaned up my diet and am taking regular exercise. I feel like a different person.

Why don't you suggest she get her bloods checked to work out what's up? You could even do the same. I had no idea how had such a deficiency could make a person feel and I'd urge everyone to get themselves checked.

Best of luck!

HeyThereDeliah

Mickey Dazzler wrote: »

Did you consider that she might be out with another man and just using the tired story as an excuse?

Why would you think that it's hardly the reason lots of women are tired. People get tired due to life commitments and sometimes its the people we love who take the brunt of this.
Have you considered its because she loves him she fees he will understand and maybe she cannot discuss other personal issues with him yet.

ash23

Something struck me about your post OP. It seems she is always the one calling over to your house. I get that you live alone and she doesn't so it makes more sense. But if she is always going to you, maybe she gets home after work and just doesn't want to go somewhere again that night.
On the nights she's said she's too tired, have you offered to call over to her for a bit?

Indiansun

Hi. You sound like a really nice guy with surprising her & all. You havnt hinted how many nights a week you get 2gether with her , but I fully agree - that some nights we all just wanna crash out on the sofa & do nothing after work. I think having her bloods checked is a good idea , I was exhausted for a long time. I'm only a size 10 & workout , but turned out I'd an under active thyroid which leaves you with no energy & causes bad sleep pattern etc. don't think any1 mentioned yet - but could there be any possible chance she's pregnant . Don't mean 2 cause alarm but again in the early stages - it can wipe you out with tiredness. It could also just be down to stress or some other issues or problems that maybe she hasn't shared with you. Wishing you well :-)