Is being "on the pull"in your 40's sad?

Scanlas The 2nd

A few people in the "are kids worth it thread" think being out on the pull when in your forties is sad.

It seems to be quite a common view on boards that if you can't stay faithful to one person then don't enter a monogomous relationship. Surely the single forty something year old would be doing the mature thing by realising they can't be with one person for the rest of their life so not entering a monogomous relationship.

mauzo

Don't think so. If they are happy then why not??

Biggins

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

A few people in the "are kids worth it thread" think being out on the pull when in your forties is sad.

It seems to be quite a common view on boards that if you can't stay faithful to one person then don't enter a monogomous relationship. Surely the single forty something year old would be doing the mature thing by realising they can't be with one person for the rest of their life so not entering a monogomous relationship.

What?
So if your over 40, you should just stop seeking the comfort that partnerships bring?
One should lead a solo life?

That type of thinking lies behind "Logans Run" - a way of life that is just wrong.

A person can stay faithful to their partner at any stage - 40 is just a physical number and a then state of mind.

JJJJNR

Its ok for men to sleep with many women, but its not ok for women to sleep with many men.

mauzo

JJJJNR wrote: »

Its ok for men to sleep with many women, but its not ok for women to sleep with many men.

In before lock and key sh*te

Scanlas The 2nd

Biggins wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

A few people in the "are kids worth it thread" think being out on the pull when in your forties is sad.

It seems to be quite a common view on boards that if you can't stay faithful to one person then don't enter a monogomous relationship. Surely the single forty something year old would be doing the mature thing by realising they can't be with one person for the rest of their life so not entering a monogomous relationship.

What?
So if your over 40, you should just stop seeking the comfort that partnerships bring?
One should lead a solo life?

That type of thinking lies behind "Logans Run" - a way of life that is just wrong.

A person can stay faithful to their partner at any stage - 40 is just a physical number and a then state of mind.

Some people can't stay faithful happily.

Tombi!

Depends. If you're in your 40s and going to a club were the crowd is usually 18-20 and most of the crowd consist of "who can get drunk fastest and pass out", yes, sad.
Going out with friends and trying to meet someone then there's no issue.

mackg

If you're single go for it just don't head for bars/clubs full of leaving certs. That's creepy.

Dravokivich

Biggins wrote: »

What?
So if your over 40, you should just stop seeking the comfort that partnerships bring?
One should lead a solo life?

That type of thinking lies behind "Logans Run" - a way of life that is just wrong.

A person can stay faithful to their partner at any stage - 40 is just a physical number and a then state of mind.

Well, what if someone's choice was not to be in such a relationship? As long as someone else isn't under false impression that they will and both know what's going on, what's wrong with being on the pull? Doing so doesn't mean you aren't mature either.

dr strangelove

Wrinklies need the sexy time too, you know!

And sometimes first aid afterwards......

ArtSmart

the OP's point is unclear, so hard to comment.

except to say 'pulling' is tough at any age.

ArtSmart

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

A few people in the "are kids worth it thread" think being out on the pull when in your forties is sad.

It seems to be quite a common view on boards that if you can't stay faithful to one person then don't enter a monogomous relationship. Surely the single forty something year old would be doing the mature thing by realising they can't be with one person for the rest of their life so not entering a monogomous relationship.

ok, i think i got it.

you're saying it's not 'sad' to be on the pull in one's 40's because one has chosen to remain single?

and that the reason for doing so, in this case, is that they 'cannot' remain faithful?


well, the first bit seems reasonable.

El Horseboxo

It's only sad if you're not successful.

smash

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

Depends. If you're in your 40s and going to a club were the crowd is usually 18-20 and most of the crowd consist of "who can get drunk fastest and pass out", yes, sad.
Going out with friends and trying to meet someone then there's no issue.

What if you've been going to that club for 20 years?

ArtSmart

mackg wrote: »

If you're single go for it just don't head for bars/clubs full of leaving certs. That's creepy.

not if you know them, like, from teaching an' stuff.

right?













i'm kiddin, honest.

Tombi!

smash wrote: »

What if you've been going to that club for 20 years?

Well in that case you're a perv. But a loyal perv so it evens out. :pac:

ArtSmart

smash wrote: »

What if you've been going to that club for 20 years?

lol.

too much funny.

unless you mean as an employee? lol.

af_thefragile

What if you're a 40yr old virgin out on the pull?

Cuddlesworth

smash wrote: »

What if you've been going to that club for 20 years?

smash

How come a 40yr old woman can go clubbing no problem but a 40yr old guy is a perv if he does it?

ArtSmart

af_thefragile wrote: »

What if you're a 40yr old virgin out on the pull?

then you got RSI

(repetitive strain injury)

IvySlayer

40 year olds going after 18 years old is creepy btw.

ArtSmart

smash wrote: »

How come a 40yr old woman can go clubbing no problem but a 40yr old guy is a perv if he does it?

coz women's beer bellies are cute. men's aren't.

jester77

Depends, if you're married and hitting the teeny disco's then, yes.
But if you're single and heading to U40 partys then, no.

bnt

IvySlayer wrote: »

40 year olds going after 18 years old is creepy btw.

So ... don't do that? I'm struggling to see your point there. I know it can happen, but is it common enough to be a "thing" worth commenting on?

Don't confuse being single with being "on the pull". There are plenty of people who are single but don't go out trying to pull. Even people "on the pull" who aren't single. Two different, loosely-connected things.

ArtSmart

jester77 wrote: »

Depends, if you're married and hitting the teeny disco's then, yes.
But if you're single and heading to U40 partys then, no.

lol.

you dont see a flaw in your logic, no?

Luca Brasi

dr strangelove wrote: »

Wrinklies need the sexy time too, you know!

And sometimes first aid afterwards......

Better than the young fellas that come in their trousers

Eve_Dublin

smash wrote: »

How come a 40yr old woman can go clubbing no problem but a 40yr old guy is a perv if he does it?

Who says? It's usually only the pervy fellas over 40 who are considered pervy, surprisingly enough.

Scanlas The 2nd

ArtSmart wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

A few people in the "are kids worth it thread" think being out on the pull when in your forties is sad.

It seems to be quite a common view on boards that if you can't stay faithful to one person then don't enter a monogomous relationship. Surely the single forty something year old would be doing the mature thing by realising they can't be with one person for the rest of their life so not entering a monogomous relationship.

ok, i think i got it.

you're saying it's not 'sad' to be on the pull in one's 40's because one has chosen to remain single?

and that the reason for doing so, in this case, is that they 'cannot' remain faithful?


well, the first bit seems reasonable.

Many people can't remain faithful and be happy, it causes them to wilt, to lose passion for life. These people should avoid monogomy unless they are ok with deceiving their spouse.

mackg

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Who says? It's usually only the pervy fellas over 40 who are considered pervy, surprisingly enough.

Pervy old women are out there too, I recently had a pissed women in her forties try to hand feed me chips in an attempt at being sexy in a pub in Cork.

I was a little turned on.

I swear this happened. Just not the turned on bit.

Dravokivich

smash wrote: »

What if you've been going to that club for 20 years?

*Thinly veiled bouncer works a club gets the ride from girls to let them in response*

Quorum

It's grand for anyone of any age to seek sexual partners.

Being "on the pull" in a sleazy manner is a bit ick though.

Scanlas The 2nd

Quorum wrote: »

It's grand for anyone of any age to seek sexual partners.

Being "on the pull" in a sleazy manner is a bit ick though.

Define sleazy.

Tombi!

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Define sleazy.

Go to a club (any club) then go up to the bar and tap a girl on the shoulder, start masturbating wildly (pulling you knob) as she turns, then make sure you have a big grin on your face and point downwards with your free hand.

It's not really sleazy but it's a classic "on the pull" that I do that gets me a few birds.

Dravokivich

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Define sleazy.

Might be something like this....

Abi

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

A few people in the "are kids worth it thread" think being out on the pull when in your forties is sad.

Calling that in your forties probably is.

It seems to be quite a common view on boards that if you can't stay faithful to one person then don't enter a monogomous relationship.

It would be the general consensus, yes.

Surely the single forty something year old would be doing the mature thing by realising they can't be with one person for the rest of their life so not entering a monogomous relationship.

And that is the bit that confuses me. Forty somethings are entitled to find happiness as much as the next person, but I think you've something more specific in mind.

If you mean forty somethings that despite being in a relationship that go 'on the pull', then yes, they are sad, and they shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone.

smash

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Who says? It's usually only the pervy fellas over 40 who are considered pervy, surprisingly enough.

Not really. there was a thread here a while back saying that even people over 30 shouldn't be going clubbing.

There were comments about it being creepy... It made me sad.

Giselle

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Many people can't remain faithful and be happy, it causes them to wilt, to lose passion for life. These people should avoid monogomy unless they are ok with deceiving their spouse.

Another priceless insight into the struggle of humanity with the conventions of their own making.

Thank you for sharing Scanlas, this is the kind of guidance we all need.

ronano

Biggins wrote: »

What?
So if your over 40, you should just stop seeking the comfort that partnerships bring?
One should lead a solo life?

That type of thinking lies behind "Logans Run" - a way of life that is just wrong.

A person can stay faithful to their partner at any stage - 40 is just a physical number and a then state of mind.

biggins in the firmly anti logans run order of society.

noted sir!

Eve_Dublin

smash wrote: »

Not really. there was a thread here a while back saying that even people over 30 shouldn't be going clubbing.

There were comments about it being creepy... It made me sad.

I'm guessing a lot of the posters who contributed to that thread were very young and consider over 30s to be over well over the hill. There was a thread once and women over 30 were being called cougars and MILFs...eh.

I'm 32....I'd be considered a sleazy auld one to most posters here in AH. Doesn't make me sad, it makes me laugh at the naivety of young people who believe they're immune to old-age. Tenner bets their opinions on clubbing in your 30s will change.

Plus the views on AH are not a reflection of people's view on society at large.

smash

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I'm 32....I'd be considered a sleazy auld one to most posters here in AH.

Do you walk around clubs pinching guys arses?

Eve_Dublin

smash wrote: »

Do you walk around clubs pinching guys arses?

Nope. I don't even go to clubs much anymore.

Biggins

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Some people can't stay faithful happily.

Very true - at all ages.

mikemac1

When I was a lodger my landlady used to call it "husband hunting"

Sounds creepy when she said it like that, as if she wants to catch and trap a man

smash

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Nope. I don't even go to clubs much anymore.

You do it on the streets then?

Eve_Dublin

smash wrote: »

You do it on the streets then?

Nay.

Edit: My point being, women can be labelled sleazy auld ones in a club too simply for being "auld" in the eyes of some young fella/girl.

Tombi!

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Nay.

Edit: My point being, women can be labelled sleazy auld ones in a club too simply for being "auld" in the eyes of some young fella/girl.

Sleazy aul one -> creepy old man being told you're a child molestor.

Not that I'm planning on going to a 18s club when I'm in my 60s:pac:

smash

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

My point being, women can be labelled sleazy auld ones in a club too simply for being "auld" in the eyes of some young fella/girl.

I think for men there's a greater stigma though.

Cee-Jay-Cee

It's only sad if they're going to disco bars frequented by 20 something's rather than somewhere a bit more mature and where'd they're likely to meet someone closer to their own age. That's not to say they can't go to disco bars but just not every night every weekend.

smash

CJC999 wrote: »

It's only sad if they're going to disco bars frequented by 20 something's rather than somewhere a bit more mature and where'd they're likely to meet someone closer to their own age.

Maybe they like clubbing, and maybe they're not out to meet someone, just to have a good time.

Why should the youth, dictate where other people should and should not go out?

CJC999 wrote: »

That's not to say they can't go to disco bars but just not every night every weekend.

why not? what's the problem?

geeky

Let's be honest, most of us have been conditioned to find the idea of anyone past a certain age having sexual needs creepy, sad, or funny. [insert long rant here about cosmetic industry/media etc].

In that context, people who are either attached or significantly below 40 find 'old people' going out on the pull a bit weird. And lots of people think that, if you don't live your life exactly the same way as they do, that you're doing it wrong.

Two caveats: going on the pull for significantly younger people is a little lecherous. Also, if you haven't formed a significant relationship at 40, some people would think there's a personality problem behind that (see 'you're doing it wrong).