Boyfriend left after comment

HappyGiggles

The other day I stupidly said something to my now ex boyfriend that hurt and offended him (which was not my intention) and he just walked out and then came back for his stuff and left, any ideas how to rectify the problem?

dr.bollocko

Moved from After Hours.
OP You might get some answers in here.

All other posters, you are now posting in Relationship issues and not after hours. Please check the charter here before posting.

SineadMarie

Need a bit more detail what was said, are you together long..Has to be more than just a comment that made him walk out on you

Ickle Magoo

Post deleted.

Just to re-iterate Dr B - you are now posting in the Personal Issues forum. There is zero tolerance for muppetry here - if you are unsure what is appropriate to post, please aquaint yourself with the Forum Charter

Be aware that off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban.

Cheers.

Ellsbells

Contact him. Ask to meet and explain what you did say.

TBH if he walks that easily maybe he was looking for an excuse.

SineadMarie

Sounds to me like he was looking for an excuse to walk..sorry if that seems harsh. Do you really want to be with someone like that, i had that with my ex he'd explode over stupid things and walk. Felt like i was constantly walking on eggshells, not a nice feeling. I'd just leave him to it if he contacts you fine but i wouldnt go chasing him. Good luck.

SineadMarie

Has he been acting funny coming up to this incident. I dont know it just seems strange that he'd walk after 8 months together over a comment

decmanning

Your boyfriend sounds very moody and if someone just walks out when they get upset then they are very childish, we all say stuff we dont mean and regret, every relationship has this, you apologised so that should be the end of it really, he just needs to snap out of his mood

P. Breathnach

Some people are very bad at dealing with things that upset them, and you give me the impression that he is such a person.

You can't easily have a good enduring relationship if that is the case. You would find yourself walking on eggshells all the time, and that's simply not on. I'm not suggesting that he is an evil person for being like that, but that he is a person with a problem. If he comes back, you and he need to discuss this area of difficulty, and it might be that he needs some professional help to get over it.

Toast4532

Maybe you are better off without him OP if he walks out when he is upset?

I know if my partner was constantly walking out when they were upset I wouldn't be with them because if I had to constantly walk on eggshells and watch what I say etc it's not healthy and it's not good for you or your relationship, especially as you are together eight months, so it's still a relatively new relationship.

If he is like this now, what will he be like in a few months, years etc?

SineadMarie

So hes done this before and come back? Has he ended it before too? Take it from me the longer you put up with this the longer it will go on and you'll be left in limbo everytime he walks. He he comes back sit him down and tell him he cant keep doing that i don't know if it'll change things but it'll let him see that your not gonna put with it either. Dont chase him either that will only push him away more.

Gooner111

When it comes to family we all have a tendency to over react so Apologise Apologise & Apologise some more since you want him back. Once he understands it was a thoughtless comment and not really intened as hurtful etc then I'd imagine he will forgive you once he has calmed down. And hopefully he will then apolgise to you for being a child. Couples fight, some say mean things from time to time. Issus have to be worked out etc. If he is going to walk out every time then is he really the right chap for you?

homerjay2005

what was the comment exactly? people here seem to be blaming him without actually knowing what it was. if this has happened before, maybe the OP should stop making comments about certain things?

though i do agree he could just be looking for attention here and wanting control, trying to make you grovel etc etc.

SineadMarie

HappyGiggles wrote: »

Thanks a million for your comments SineadMarie, much appreciated

Your welcome hope it works out for you

Toast4532

HappyGiggles wrote: »

I have apologised so many times and he says that he understands that I am sorry but that the association is now in my head and he could never forget it or relax with me again...

What was the comment? What was/is the association?

leeroybrown

You put him in a situation where he decided he had to make a decision: "do I want to be in a relationship with someone who would say that about my family?". The answer in this case was no and he appears to be sticking with his decision. Some people are capable of being cold and analytic that if they're really made to think about something. If it's any consolation it likely means he wasn't too hung up on you anyway.

ManOfMystery

I think you need to supply more information. It's very hard for us to decide if your ex was out of order without knowing the comment or the context in which it was said. What may have been a throwaway comment for you could have been something which had a major impact on him. The flip side is that he may also be taking the comment way too seriously. We're shooting in the dark here without knowing what it was and what the background was.

LegacyUser

Maybe this little insight might help?

I once broke up with a boyfriend after he said something that annoyed me. Looking back, I now know that I didn't want to go out with him any more but hadn't quite realized that yet. The comment, which wasn't all that terrible at all, just provided me with the excuse to cut and run. Once I had walked out that door and left, I knew I didn't want to go back.

That doesn't mean that this is what has happened here but I'm giving you my insight. Don't bother contacting your boyfriend again. You have said your piece and it's up to him to make up his own mind.

Taltos

Closing thread as OP has deleted all but their first post indicating that they wish to disengage from the advice here on RI.

OP - if this is incorrect and you mistakenly deleted your posts please contact any of the RI mods to reopen this thread and restore your posts as the advice being delivered now is fragmented by now missing replies.

Thanks
Taltos