People not giving gifts

lazygal

An offshoot of the stingy thread perhaps. And partly inspired by a thread on weddings, marriage and civil partnership.

Would it annoy you to have a party and for people not to bring something? Or invite them to your wedding and not even get a card?

There's loads of responses on the thread I was reading saying 'I'd never turn up empty handed, but what are you complaining about', but there's some people who turn up with one arm as long as the other. Anyone going to admit to not bringing a few beers to a party? Or not even bothering with a card for a wedding?

efb

I wouldn't, but I wouldn't sit in judgement of those that don't.

Scioch

I'd bring beers to a party seeing as I'd be drinking them or a bottle of wine if someone is having me over for dinner. But I dont buy gifts. Over the years I have realised I am wasting my money on something someone else doesnt need when I cant even afford to get everything I fcukin need. Its just stupid.

eth0

It's good form to bring a pineapple when you go to visit someone.

mauzo

I'm such a gift person. I buy people things for no reason. I'm on holidays right now and have a case full of gifts for friends. SPent more than I care to admit on them lol

If I'm going to someone's house for a party I'd always bring something, would not bother me if they didn't do the same....just different strokes.

girl in the striped socks

Anyone I know who's married has told me they made money off their wedding.
The average wedding costs between 25-30k. Most couples will give between €150-€200 as a gift.

I normally give €200. And I think it's a bit scabby for someone to turn up empty handed. Fair enough a lot of people can't afford to give substantial money as a gift these days. But a card is cheap & you could pick up a picture frame for a small amount of money.
Or you could send back a regret card & not have to worry about it!

Sunnyisland

We would always give something as a celebration of whatever were celebrating.

lazygal

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

Anyone I know who's married has told me they made money off their wedding.
The average wedding costs between 25-30k. Most couples will give between €150-€200 as a gift.

I normally give €200. And I think it's a bit scabby for someone to turn up empty handed. Fair enough a lot of people can't afford to give substantial money as a gift these days. But a card is cheap & you could pick up a picture frame for a small amount of money.
Or you could send back a regret card & not have to worry about it!

We 'made' no money on our wedding, had it saved for and when people asked if we wanted something we suggested a charity donation, but that we'd also love a card. The charities got a few hundred, which we were delighted about. I also loved some of the homemade gifts we got, like a really personalised card from a student friend of mine and a picture from a friend of mine I was in school with, she found a photo of us as kids and framed it. I'm at the 'wedding age' and I don't know any of our friends who 'made' money, apart from one person who's parents paid for the whole wedding.

JustAThought

I dont think e150 - e200 is the norm for a cash gift , or otherwise , for a wedding.

You might be an extremely generous " gifter" but this is excessive & is IMO is not a typical " just friends" gift.

But I agree; party or otherwise; particularly a wedding; if you go ( to the main event) you have to give a gift .

Afters= Card.

jessiejam

I would always give a gift at a wedding. If I was invited to someone's house I would always bring wine/beer/biscuits, depends on the time of day.
What does confuse me however is the 'afters' of weddings. I mean what it the point? Is it that you weren't good enough for a full invitation or is it that they are trying to fill the dance floor with some fresh bodies?
If I do go to the afters I am never sure what to give!

girl in the striped socks

Obviously the couples I'm talking about had the money saved. But the gifts amounted to more than what they paid out for their wedding. One couple came out with €6000 more than they paid for the wedding.
And I don't think I'm overly generous. That's just the going rate with my friends & family.

solerina

JustAThought wrote: »

I dont think e150 - e200 is the norm for a cash gift , or otherwise , for a wedding.

You might be an extremely generous " gifter" but this is excessive & is IMO is not a typical " just friends" gift.

But I agree; party or otherwise; particularly a wedding; if you go ( to the main event) you have to give a gift .

Afters= Card.

Unfortunately this amount is the norm in some circles...I know plenty of people who consider this to be the amount the most come up with to go to a wedding....I would normally give this amount myself but would put a little bit by every week for a month or so before so that I have the money ready.

NegativeCreep

Bottle of Vodka to a party and that's enough Me and my close friends (6 of us) buy each other gifts on birthdays. When someones birthday comes up, the remaining 5 of us go in together to buy them something. We spend 50 quid each to make sure we get something good and something that they actually want as a gift. Anyone outside the group can fuck off as far as we're concerned

sweeney1971

If its a young couple starting off I would give them money. If the wedding is the second time around or older couple I would just give them a card. My father in law got married again to a right stuck up skank, really put on all the airs and graces. She sent people an invite out asking for money of all things, both are loaded. We got them a really bad taste garden ornament. Went down a treat with the skank.
When my husband and I got married we told people we did not want anything but just come to the evening party (we got married abroad) most people brought us Jelly's, bag's of cement, bales of hay and a pig.A good night was had by all!

NegativeCreep

sweeney1971 wrote: »

If its a young couple starting off I would give them money. If the wedding is the second time around or older couple I would just give them a card. My father in law got married again to a right stuck up skank, really put on all the airs and graces. She sent people an invite out asking for money of all things, both are loaded. We got them a really bad taste garden ornament. Went down a treat with the skank.
When my husband and I got married we told people we did not want anything but just come to the evening party (we got married abroad) most people brought us Jelly's, bag's of cement, bales of hay and a pig.A good night was had by all!

This sounds like the best party ever!

3ndahalfof6

if I am invited it is because they want me there, not for what they can get out of me,

im good fun and can make the crack mighty that in itself is a gift.

johnmcdnl

sweeney1971 wrote: »

If its a young couple starting off I would give them money. If the wedding is the second time around or older couple I would just give them a card. My father in law got married again to a right stuck up skank, really put on all the airs and graces. She sent people an invite out asking for money of all things, both are loaded. We got them a really bad taste garden ornament. Went down a treat with the skank.
When my husband and I got married we told people we did not want anything but just come to the evening party (we got married abroad) most people brought us Jelly's, bag's of cement, bales of hay and a pig.A good night was had by all!

That must have been great craic - your guests their trying to hand over the bags of cement and hay without destroying their best suit or your best suit

girl in the striped socks

sweeney1971 wrote: »

If its a young couple starting off I would give them money. If the wedding is the second time around or older couple I would just give them a card. My father in law got married again to a right stuck up skank, really put on all the airs and graces. She sent people an invite out asking for money of all things, both are loaded. We got them a really bad taste garden ornament. Went down a treat with the skank.
When my husband and I got married we told people we did not want anything but just come to the evening party (we got married abroad) most people brought us Jelly's, bag's of cement, bales of hay and a pig.A good night was had by all!

Now that's what I call a wedding!
No stress, just a group of people having a few drinks & a bit of craic.

sweeney1971

It was a great do. Everyone came in fancy dress, we did daft kids party stuff, musical chairs, bingo, pass the parcel. Some of our friends did not have much money they brought us toilet rolls, a roll of bin liners, soap, it was the rich ones who brought us the pig! We did not ask for anything just wanted them all there for a good night and a laugh.

sweeney1971

We had just come in from Milking dressed in our boiler suits when all our 'Guests' were arriving, we was going to change into our fancy dress 80's shell suits but thought f**k it go in as we was, wellies and all.One of the Jellies was actually wrapped up, there it was wobbling away under fancy wrapping paper. Ah the memory!

mikemac1

It's not a hospital visit unless you bring a crossword book, grapes and flat Diet 7up

gara

Yes, I always give gifts whenever I can. In addition to the obvious occasions (weddings, birthdays, Christmas) I always bring a bottle of bubbles to give to the host when I arrive at a party or organise a cake to have at the house before going out for a friend's birthday, in addition to the actual gift itself.

If a friend or member of my family has achieved something special (academically or sporting) I also like to mark the occasion with a little gift to highlight it's importance and acknowledge their hard work, but also because I just like to share their happiness with them.

For me, the concept of cost never enters the equation when it comes to giving presents. Whether it costs a little or a lot, I just enjoy the feeling of finding something appropriate to mark a special occasion for someone I care about. It's what memories are made of and for me that feeling is priceless

username123

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

Anyone I know who's married has told me they made money off their wedding.
The average wedding costs between 25-30k. Most couples will give between €150-€200 as a gift.

I normally give €200. And I think it's a bit scabby for someone to turn up empty handed. Fair enough a lot of people can't afford to give substantial money as a gift these days. But a card is cheap & you could pick up a picture frame for a small amount of money.
Or you could send back a regret card & not have to worry about it!

In the more than 20 years that Ive been attending weddings I dont know anyone that this has happened to. Certainly for my own wedding we spent X amount and received 1/4 of X in cash gifts, plus some non cash gifts.

200 is very high an amount to give, particularly since the reality check of the recession.

I never show without something for a party.

Tool_

Scioch wrote: »

I'd bring beers to a party seeing as I'd be drinking them or a bottle of wine if someone is having me over for dinner. But I dont buy gifts. Over the years I have realised I am wasting my money on something someone else doesnt need when I cant even afford to get everything I fcukin need. Its just stupid.

Exactly that. I always try to bring more than I drink to a house so get a load of booze. The only adults I buy presents for are either closely related or let me see them naked.

Scruffles

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

Anyone I know who's married has told me they made money off their wedding.
The average wedding costs between 25-30k. Most couples will give between €150-€200 as a gift.

I normally give €200. And I think it's a bit scabby for someone to turn up empty handed. Fair enough a lot of people can't afford to give substantial money as a gift these days. But a card is cheap & you could pick up a picture frame for a small amount of money.
Or you could send back a regret card & not have to worry about it!

gifts arent compulsory they are just a socialy accepted tradition,that said yes people are tight if its the birthday/some sort of celebration of someone they like alot and they dont get them a present if they can afford it,they can always make the person a card and depending on the abilities of the person and materials available they coud even make a present, eg; a cake,a nice meal,offering to do a task of their choice for them-eg,lawn mowing,food shopping,sorting their computer out for them if they are rubbish with the computer.

as someone who lives in UK residential care,am on next to no money at all as by law we can only get the lowest level of income support and the mobility component of DLA.
am on high rate mobility component of DLA which completely gets used up on a motability scheme car and basic income support,all of it is used up on essential needs and even some stuff that shoud not have to be paying for.

am not able to afford cards let alone presents,and regulary owe money back to the units petty cash,havent got one bit of savings.
however,when it was sisters wedding this year in april,had spent exactly a day no less making her a card with the most crappy assed cheap childrens craft bits-all old off cuts,using crap childrens paint-the watered down type in big cheap plastic bottles that everyone probably remembers using in school.:pac:
felt so awful going to the wedding when people showered her with money and presents,but she genuinely loved the card and coud tell had put so much effort into it and knows the money situation.

this is a birthday card had made for a support staff of mine-
http://radiant-bantam.deviantart.com/gallery/38852683#/d4zdkwt
had spent a day making that one as well,the entire card was originaly just a white piece of thick paper and it was slowly built up with all sorts of card bits and bits of foam card.

most non materialistic people prefer stuff that has a personal touch to it,that has had a ton of effort put into it,anyone can buy something if they have the money but not everyone woud bother putting the effort into making something.

girl in the striped socks

Scruffles wrote: »

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

Anyone I know who's married has told me they made money off their wedding.
The average wedding costs between 25-30k. Most couples will give between €150-€200 as a gift.

I normally give €200. And I think it's a bit scabby for someone to turn up empty handed. Fair enough a lot of people can't afford to give substantial money as a gift these days. But a card is cheap & you could pick up a picture frame for a small amount of money.
Or you could send back a regret card & not have to worry about it!

gifts arent compulsory they are just a socialy accepted tradition,that said yes people are tight if its the birthday/some sort of celebration of someone they like alot and they dont get them a present if they can afford it,they can always make the person a card and depending on the abilities of the person and materials available they coud even make a present, eg; a cake,a nice meal,offering to do a task of their choice for them-eg,lawn mowing,food shopping,sorting their computer out for them if they are rubbish with the computer.

as someone who lives in UK residential care,am on next to no money at all as by law we can only get the lowest level of income support and the mobility component of DLA.
am on high rate mobility component of DLA which completely gets used up on a motability scheme car and basic income support,all of it is used up on essential needs and even some stuff that shoud not have to be paying for.

am not able to afford cards let alone presents,and regulary owe money back to the units petty cash,havent got one bit of savings.
however,when it was sisters wedding this year in april,had spent exactly a day no less making her a card with the most crappy assed cheap childrens craft bits-all old off cuts,using crap childrens paint-the watered down type in big cheap plastic bottles that everyone probably remembers using in school.:pac:
felt so awful going to the wedding when people showered her with money and presents,but she genuinely loved the card and coud tell had put so much effort into it and knows the money situation.

this is a birthday card had made for a support staff of mine-
http://radiant-bantam.deviantart.com/gallery/38852683#/d4zdkwt
had spent a day making that one as well,the entire card was originaly just a white piece of thick paper and it was slowly built up with all sorts of card bits and bits of foam card.

most non materialistic people prefer stuff that has a personal touch to it,that has had a ton of effort put into it,anyone can buy something if they have the money but not everyone woud bother putting the effort into making something.

I'm a big believer in giving what you can.
The whole wedding gift thing has gotten out of control from my point of view.
Personally I can't stand big weddings anyway. Outside of my family I can count on one hand the people I would like at mine. I don't have any interest in inviting my 300 "closest" friends.
The simpler the day the better in my opinion.
And while I might put money in a card it's not a lasting gift like you gave.

Lisha

HI Scruffles,

the card you made and the sentiment behind it are both fab.

lil'bug

eth0 wrote: »

It's good form to bring a pineapple when you go to visit someone.

I have done that!
I put it in with a belated wedding present

bdoo

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

Anyone I know who's married has told me they made money off their wedding.
The average wedding costs between 25-30k. Most couples will give between €150-€200 as a gift.

I normally give €200. And I think it's a bit scabby for someone to turn up empty handed. Fair enough a lot of people can't afford to give substantial money as a gift these days. But a card is cheap & you could pick up a picture frame for a small amount of money.
Or you could send back a regret card & not have to worry about it!

Do you not know the cost of stamps?

Karen23

One couple at our wedding didn't give us a card or present but I didn't think any less of them for it. They could have given it to someone and it got mislaid or they just couldn't afford it on top of the the costs that come with going to a wedding.

When my sister got married she didn't get cards off a couple of aunts and uncles who I've never known to turn up at any event empty handed so again she doesn't know if the cards were given to someone else and not passed on to her or because they were only invited to the afters felt that they didn't need to bring a gift/card but they would at a party so I didn't see the difference.

Red21

lazygal wrote: »

. I'm at the 'wedding age' and I don't know any of our friends who 'made' money, apart from one person who's parents paid for the whole wedding.

username123 wrote: »

In the more than 20 years that Ive been attending weddings I dont know anyone that this has happened to. Certainly for my own wedding we spent X amount and received 1/4 of X in cash gifts, plus some non cash gifts..

How could anyone possibly know if a couple did or didn't make money out of their wedding, irrespective of how many weddings they've been at?
You can only ever give a rough idea based on estimated costs involved and what you believe is being handed over in the card.

Girl in the... is correct in saying that couples usually give 150 to 200.
I've had the misfortune of having to attend lots of these things and i'm in little douth that 100euro per person is a very good estimation. Going by that, yes people generally do make money of their weddings to more you invite the more you make.

girl in the striped socks

Red21 wrote: »

lazygal wrote: »

. I'm at the 'wedding age' and I don't know any of our friends who 'made' money, apart from one person who's parents paid for the whole wedding.

username123 wrote: »

In the more than 20 years that Ive been attending weddings I dont know anyone that this has happened to. Certainly for my own wedding we spent X amount and received 1/4 of X in cash gifts, plus some non cash gifts..

How could anyone possibly know if a couple did or didn't make money out of their wedding, irrespective of how many weddings they've been at?
You can only ever give a rough idea based on estimated costs involved and what you believe is being handed over in the card.

The op is correct in saying that couples usually give 150 to 200.
I've had the misfortune of having to attend lots of these things and i'm in little douth that 100euro per person is a very good estimation. Going by that, yes people generally do make money of their weddings to more you invite the more you make.

Well I know they made money because they told me so they could try & tempt me to have the big do like they did.
Also my sister said the same & she would have no reason to lie about it.

Red21

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

Well I know they made money because they told me so they could try & tempt me to have the big do like they did.
Also my sister said the same & she would have no reason to lie about it.

I'm agreeing with you, i'm pointing out that these poeple seem to be in fantasy land if that believe that people don't make money at weddings.
I don't think people set out to make a few quid of weddings but when it comes to the size of a wedding couples are fully aware that they'll get it all back in cards and thats why Ireland hasd so many big weddings.

Karen23 wrote: »

One couple at our wedding didn't give us a card or present but I didn't think any less of them for it. They could have given it to someone and it got mislaid or they just couldn't afford it on top of the the costs that come with going to a wedding.

When my sister got married she didn't get cards off a couple of aunts and uncles who I've never known to turn up at any event empty handed so again she doesn't know if the cards were given to someone else and not passed on to her or because they were only invited to the afters felt that they didn't need to bring a gift/card but they would at a party so I didn't see the difference.

This posts post pretty much sums up the Irish attitude to weddings, the more you invite the more you'll make. We all know who the big winners are.

Tool_

Red21 wrote: »

I'm agreeing with you, i'm pointing out that these poeple seem to be in fantasy land if that believe that people don't make money at weddings.
I don't think people set out to make a few quid of weddings but when it comes to the size of a wedding couples are fully aware that they'll get it all back in cards and thats why Ireland hasd so many big weddings.

This posts post pretty much sums up the Irish attitude to weddings, the more you invite the more you'll make. We all know who the big winners are.

A Forensic break-down of who gave what (agus how much?) based on the cards at the wedding? GTF

Karen23

Karen23 wrote: »

One couple at our wedding didn't give us a card or present but I didn't think any less of them for it. They could have given it to someone and it got mislaid or they just couldn't afford it on top of the the costs that come with going to a wedding.

When my sister got married she didn't get cards off a couple of aunts and uncles who I've never known to turn up at any event empty handed so again she doesn't know if the cards were given to someone else and not passed on to her or because they were only invited to the afters felt that they didn't need to bring a gift/card but they would at a party so I didn't see the difference.

Red21 wrote: »

I'm agreeing with you, i'm pointing out that these poeple seem to be in fantasy land if that believe that people don't make money at weddings.
I don't think people set out to make a few quid of weddings but when it comes to the size of a wedding couples are fully aware that they'll get it all back in cards and thats why Ireland hasd so many big weddings.

This posts post pretty much sums up the Irish attitude to weddings, the more you invite the more you'll make. We all know who the big winners are.

Neither me or my sister got married to '' make money '' , if we did we'd have both been very disappointed.

lazygal wrote: »

Would it annoy you to have a party and for people not to bring something? Or invite them to your wedding and not even get a card?

My post was an answer to the op's question above. People came to both our weddings and didn't bring card's , it didn't annoy us nor did it make us think any less of them as I have already said.

I would never go to a party or wedding without a gift or card but I do know of people who on their wedding invitation have requested no gifts and have given their bank details for money to be deposited instead. They got a '' we decline your invitation '' reply.

Glendambo

I would always give a gift. But it would be what I can afford to give and if I had an inkling that the person I gave the gift too didn't think it was enough they would be told to go and fúck themselves.

I was taught to give gifts without the expectation of getting something in return.

The thread in Weddings, Marriage and Civil Partnerships was absolutely vile.

Red21

Karen23 wrote: »

Neither me or my sister got married to '' make money '' , if we did we'd have both been very disappointed.

I believe you. I've already said that I don't think thats why people have big weddings but it's also the case that here in ireland we have to go to way to many of these things, the reason for this is that far too many people are having 250+ weddings, the reason they are far too many big weddings is because the couple planning their special day know full well it's gonna be paid for.
Do you really think so many would spend 25k on a single day if they had to pay back for it for the next 15 years?
The whole thing stincks, all that stuff that the priest say and all that bollocks said in the speeches, everyone knows the most important thing is getting the cards safely packed into the hotel safe.

lennyloulou

our wedding cost 22k.
we saved and saved.
our choices and our ideas.
got 4 lamps, 3 cutlery sets and 5500k in cash
happy out
didnt get a thing off 30 people... i kept a record for the thank you cards
we are ok now butwas shocked by a few.... would have loved a card .... disgusted with 2 families.... their kids are our own ages .....solicitors/accountants..you name it... they earn ALOT more that we do/cars/lifestyle...they mentioned once or twice in passsing.... bull****, they seeminly never give cards etc....i think a card should be given just to acknowledge our special day
dont take out any loans for your wedding folks... dont be so stupd... you will not make it back... we didnt set out with that intention whatsoever....i know loads at work who still do..wake up!

Muckit

jessiejam wrote: »

What does confuse me however is the 'afters' of weddings. I mean what it the point? Is it that you weren't good enough for a full invitation or is it that they are trying to fill the dance floor with some fresh bodies?

I agree. Getting married in Oct and all guests are getting a full invite. No evening invites. If we want you at our wedding, we want you there for the whole schabang!

lennyloulou

yep i agree, the afters idea is outdated these days... i will admit that i did have a handful of afters.... these were to people who in the past had invited me to their afters. However yes, i think they are a waste of time and postage stamps

Karen23

Anyone who attended my wedding received a thank you card regardless of whether they gave a card or gift , we were glad to have to have them there but I'd hate for them to have given cards and they were mislaid. If it was the other way I'd hate to have given a card at a wedding and it never reached the bride or groom for whatever reason and them to think we hadn't brought a gift.
It's not like you can say '' we didn't get a card from you , did you bring one and it was mislaid or did you just not bring anything?''

lennyloulou wrote: »

yep i agree, the afters idea is outdated these days... i will admit that i did have a handful of afters.... these were to people who in the past had invited me to their afters. However yes, i think they are a waste of time and postage stamps

My sister's wedding was mostly afters because they couldn't afford to have lots of people for the full day. It was parents, brothers and sisters and very close friends for the ceremony and meal.I don't think she would have had the full thing even if she could have afforded it , it's just not her thing. They invited loads to the afters. Maybe that's why people came without cards thinking they haven't spent any money on us so why should we bring anything. But they'd bring a card to a 21st or party like that when that and a wedding afters would cost the same

Red21

Karen23 wrote: »

Anyone who attended my wedding received a thank you card regardless of whether they gave a card or gift

So did you say on the thank you card? Did you thank them for the gift or for attending the wedding?

Karen23

Muckit wrote: »

I agree. Getting married in Oct and all guests are getting a full invite. No evening invites. If we want you at our wedding, we want you there for the whole schabang!

The daughter of very good friends of my parents in law was getting married , they have been Godparents to each others children and their children grew up to be very close and have also asked each other to be godparents to their children. My sister in law was bridesmaid and my parents in law were invited to the full wedding but my husband and I only received an afters invite. I've never had a problem only receiving an afters invitation to anyone else's wedding , I totally understand how expensive weddings are and sometimes people just can't afford to have everyone there but this felt like a real snub and we didn't go.

girl in the striped socks

lennyloulou wrote: »

yep i agree, the afters idea is outdated these days... i will admit that i did have a handful of afters.... these were to people who in the past had invited me to their afters. However yes, i think they are a waste of time and postage stamps

If I get married in this country I'd be looking at having an afters for the majority of people.
I want a very small few at the church & then a party after it. I hate the whole sit down for a meal, listen to silly speeches, we all have to to dance now cos the band is playing.
Fcuk that.

Glendambo

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

If I get married in this country I'd be looking at having an afters for the majority of people.
I want a very small few at the church & then a party after it. I hate the whole sit down for a meal, listen to silly speeches, we all have to to dance now cos the band is playing.
Fcuk that.

I'm so going to Vegas for mine and then have a session when we get home.

Karen23

Red21 wrote: »

So did you say on the thank you card? Did you thank them for the gift or for attending the wedding?

For attending I suppose as we didn't specify a gift on the card but thanked them for sharing our day with us

floggg

If I go to a house party I bring a bag of cans. And proceed to drink them. If I have a party though, it's BYO a d I don't expect (or get) gifts.

if youre having a party with mates the point is to have the craic, not to get crappy gifts. If everybody looks after their own drinks, craic is sorted.

I really resent the idea of having to give money at a wedding. If you decide to invite somebody to celebrate with you, it should be because you want to enjoy their company, not get cash. It's not like you are shelling out stupid money on flowers or my sake - itsbecause you want a big fancy wedding for yourself.

That said, if it's a close friend or relative, I'll give €150 cash as I'd rather u get what u want. But otherwise I'll buy you some crappy present like a picture frame for the same price that I know u don't really like rather than have u profit of my attendance.

For my own wedding/civil partnership I plan on doing something like the pig recipient above - something relatively low key and relaxed where the focus is one the people present not some stupid flower arrangement. I'd rather spend the money on a free bar for my close friends and family than an over pomped and formal do filled with people I hadn't seen for 10 years.

amdublin

Glendambo wrote: »

...

The thread in Weddings, Marriage and Civil Partnerships was absolutely vile.

Yeah it's a reality check alright

SusieBlue

If we have a party, I don't expect anyone to bring anything. If they do, great, that's nice. Wouldn't be offended if they didn't though.

Most of the parties I go to are college parties anyway, which are "bring your own alcohol" type events

I think it'd be really stingy to go to a wedding without giving a gift or card of some sort, though.