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Unemployment and relationship finances

  • 25-08-2012 6:38pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am in a relatively new relationship which is proving to be really expensive since I became unemployed recently. I am looking for work but in the meantime I have to rely on savings/the dole and my boyfriend has a reasonably well paid job.

    We also live opposite sides of the country and because I have more 'free' time than him (job hunting can be done anywhere right?) we have fallen into a routine where I travel to see him, which is putting serious strain on my finances. Now I don't expect him to fund my lifestyle at all, but the fact we're in very different places financially means that dates/activities etc. which I would not have thought twice about when I was working are breaking the bank for me these days. This is way too early in our relationship to be bickering over money but he is pretty dismissive when I mention that I cannot really afford to go somewhere or visit when he wants me to.

    Bottom line, how are other couples coping with this? We can't be the only ones having this issue? I am hopeful that I will not be unemployed very long but for now my relationship seems more expensive than I can afford. Help!


Comments

  • #2
    Toast4532
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,613 ✭✭✭Toast4532


    I am unemployed and my partner works full time, we are very lucky as we live in the same town so don't have far to travel.

    When either of us suggests going somewhere or doing something, we will discuss the cost involved and if I can't afford it, we don't go, but we will go another time and give me time to save up the money for it.

    But if it is a big expense, weekend away, trip abroad, shopping trip etc. If I can't afford it, it doesn't happen, same goes for my partner.

    Your boyfriend shouldn't be dismissing you or your concerns. If you can't afford it, tell him so, and tell him you won't be going until you can afford it.

    Just because he is working and can afford it, does not mean you can afford it. Hell, even a lot of people who are working full time (and overtime) can't afford to do things or go places because bills, rent, food, etc all come first and there just isn't enough left over to fund luxuries. Days out, meals out, drinks, nights out etc are all luxuries, especially when you are unemployed.

    You need to sit your boyfriend down and tell him you can't afford to go places or do paid activities constantly.

    If he is dismissing you now, god only knows what he will be like in a few months/years. You need to nip this in the bud now.


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