College???

Smashhits

I'm just looking for some other views.

I recently applied and been offered a place to go to college part time. I work full time and have 2 teenage children.

Now I'm wondering was it right for me to apply to college. It's going to be a big undertaking (2 nights pw 6 -10) as well as full time work 9 - 5. I'm also moving to a new department in Sept. I don't know if I've taken on too much!

As I'm separated I'm also feeling guilty about being away from the kids for such long periods of time.

My head is telling me to go for it...I never done the college thing when I left school, and it's something I've wanted to do for a long time.

I just would like some other peoples experiences I suppose and how you did you find the whole juggling thing?

Thanks

looksee

When you say teenage do you mean 13-14 or 17-18? Two nights studying AND working full time AND caring/minding/worrying about kids might be a challenge all right.

If they are old enough to leave unsupervised, and can be trusted to wash up, do homework, etc that will make it easier, if you cannot rely on that you will find it difficult to concentrate on college work.

Its not impossible, but it will be very demanding, you will have work to do on other evenings as well. Only you know really how much energy you have!

Smashhits

Thanks looksee

My kids are aged 14 & 19 (just starting college himself). The eldest is fine, it's the younger one I'm more concerned about. She is not yet old enough to be left alone for prolonged periods of time and it's not the eldest's responsibility to look after her. He is going to be starting a course soon and his time is his own as far as I'm concerned.

I'm just very wary of taking it on and not being able to follow it through till the end. There is also the issue of the money it'll cost. I have to make a decision by the first week in September and I'm torn with what to do.

LegacyUser

i had the same deal - work and college, my oldest was staying at home through college, and i made it as part of the deal, that the 2 evenings I was out, she should be at home and at least check in on the youngest for a bit to make sure everything was ok (mine were 18 and 13). Her part of the deal was she could have friends round.

This was on the understanding that the youngest would be able to be home by herself eventually. Within about 3 or 4 months, the youngest was wanting to be by herself, but knew that her sister was available by phone should there be any need.

Taught them both good life lessons as far as i'm concerned - the oldest learnt sometimes there was just some things she had to do and the youngest - how to be self reliant (within reason, there was always dinner ready to be heated up and she knew homework would be checked as soon as I got in) a neighbour/friend knew the situation and was always around just in case.

ceidefields

I think you should do it! Yes, it will be hard and challenging, but it is a VERY good example to set for your kids. Lead from the front - show the kids how study and hard work can advance your life!

Don't be shy about asking them to pitch in - explain the situation and lay out very clearly what's expected of them - housework, being where they're supposed to be, doing their homework. Explain how important it is to you. I agree about your oldest, but he does still live at home and you can ask him to help a little.

LegacyUser

Perhaps you are overwhelmed at the moment because of the department move, starting college, and your eldest reaching adulthood. That's a lot of change to process! But a lot of this should settle down in the first few weeks - it will be tough, but good organization and advance planning will help a lot. Best of luck, whatever you choose.

Bubblefett

Go for it Smashhits! Your kids will understand and support you- they're old enought to understand you are an individual with your own life. I would hope your 14 year old will find you inspirational trying to improve yourself with what little free time you have
I'm sure your husband and eldest will help any way they can too.
It'll be challanging but it's too great an opportunity to miss out on. Best of luck x

steod

I would recommend going for it. Just completed 4 year part time degree in May while working full time. Wont lie it wont be easy and there will be many times over the course where you will doubt yourself and think why are you putting yourself through this !

But these moments are fleeting and everything else about doing it outway those. You will meet many new people and probably make good friendships that will last beyond the course as well the satisfaction of completing the course itself.

Balancing study time and full time work will be tricky but possible. I work 5 days/6 days week alternating and 2 late nights in my job so with 2 evenings in college i was working or studying till 10pm 4 nights week as well as working weekends. Also over xmas only had xmas day itself off, finished at 6 xmas eve and was back in 8am st. stephens day.

Does your job give much time off over xmas ? you can use this to catch up on college work, also you will probably have 2 reading weeks during the year too and dont forgot about 4 months summer break. What im saying is that its entirely possible to do this if you want it and from someone who never did the college thing after finishing school myself it is definately worth it. Go for it !

Smashhits

Thanks for all the replies.

I'm glad to hear from people who have been through it. It is a big step for me and I'm just apprehensive I think.

I'm lucky that my job supports people studying in their own time, with study leave etc.

Over Christmas I'll only have 2 days off but if I can get into the routine I think I'll manage it.

Thanks again

MrsMOOO

I think go for it

LegacyUser

I would go back to college. I would contact revenue and ask them if your entitled to get 20% back of the course costs back - you just need to give them the name and address of where you are doing the course. You then fill out a form once you pay the fees.
If you pay the fees in Sep and Jan you will have the tax allowance for this and next year.
It may take you some time to get back into the study habit but you will be very proud when you get your exams.
Also it is good for your children to see you studying and they will learn to be more independent.
I would chat to them and agree on some rules at the start of this. Your children need to know that you won't have the time to do everything for them. You need to show them know how to cook, use the washing machine, show them how to iron ect as you won't be available to do everything for them. If you come into the house tired and hungry to no dinner and a messy house you are not going to be happy. You also have to consider how to plan your weekends and to have a day of rest each week. Good Luck.

kjl

Smashhits wrote: »

Thanks looksee

My kids are aged 14 & 19 (just starting college himself). The eldest is fine, it's the younger one I'm more concerned about. She is not yet old enough to be left alone for prolonged periods of time and it's not the eldest's responsibility to look after her. He is going to be starting a course soon and his time is his own as far as I'm concerned.

I'm just very wary of taking it on and not being able to follow it through till the end. There is also the issue of the money it'll cost. I have to make a decision by the first week in September and I'm torn with what to do.

She can't be left alone for 4 hours? At 14 I was heading off into town with my friends for a lot longer than 4 hours and this was before the days of mobiles. I think she can look after herself for 4 hours in her house twice a week.

I think everyone should try and do as much education as they can in their life. It will really benefit you in the long run no matter what the result is. 8 hours a week is nothing in the grand scheme of things and it will be a nice change and who knows maybe you might get a better job out of it.

Stop worrying, talk to your daughter about this and tell her that if there is any emergency that she can call you and maybe ask her not to leave the house when you are gone. Perhaps the eldest can check on her once in a while.