Ex got engaged within a year of breakup

LegacyUser

almost a year ago i broke up with my ex, we were engaged and had just booked our wedding for May just gone.

when we came home she was more distant and within a week we had an argument over a guy she was getting very close to, she said i was over reacting and there was nothing going on they were just friends, even though they were meeting up any time i went to work and he would text her every morning and there was constant Facebook messages and text back and forth. I found it strange because we were together nearly 10 years and she never made an effort with friends girls or lads and she cut me off my friends that were girls, things just didn't sit well.

To make a long story short they moved into a house together after 2 months after the breakup and for her birthday they got engaged.

I was talking to her 4 months ago as we still have things to sort out (joint mortgage) she broke down and said to me "he doesn't want the same things as me but I hope he will compromise" (ie. wanting kids and to settle down)

I seem to be taking it well but i find it all so strange. she was always the type that wanted to settle and have kids young, so did i but i wanted them in my late 20's when i have my career sorted and had some security, and she accepted that at the time. the last few years i worked hard, got the house built with a small mortgage but she never seemed to settle or be happy with what she had, always waiting for the next thing.

im glad that the relationship is over as i never felt her heart was in it, she never help out with the house and hardly went with me to any family events etc.

i think what im trying to work out in my head is that i would be a cautious when it comes to an engagement, i was with her since i was 17 and when i finally proposed things changed even though she kept leading me on but never talked to me on how she felt about me and then bang! Within a year being with someone i would think its still in the honeymoon stages possibly? i wonder if she ever did love me or was she just carried away with the whole fantasy of being married etc.. or is me that is just too cautious and not taking the chance?

Piliger

OP .... What does it matter ? Why does it matter ? It is history. Distant history and you need to move on and live YOUR life without wondering or pondering or musing on what might have been, or what she was thinking this that or the other time. Who knows ? She probably never knew.

Move on.

tbh

heres what I reckon. she was with you for ages. The spark died (no offense). This other guys starts making his move. She's flattered. She falls for him, breaks up with you. She's been in a relationship for 10 years, that's the way her mind is geared at the moment. She also thinks "I ended a ten year relationship to be with this guy, it *must* be serious".

Odds of them getting married, I'd imagine - without knowing anything about them!! - are slim.

Agree with the poster above - you had a lucky escape. Don't worry about what she does - get on with your life and make sure you're in a stable place when her relationship crumbles so you don't get sucked back into it.

Gooner111

tbh wrote: »

heres what I reckon. she was with you for ages. The spark died (no offense). This other guys starts making his move. She's flattered. She falls for him, breaks up with you. She's been in a relationship for 10 years, that's the way her mind is geared at the moment. She also thinks "I ended a ten year relationship to be with this guy, it *must* be serious".

Odds of them getting married, I'd imagine - without knowing anything about them!! - are slim.

Agree with the poster above - you had a lucky escape. Don't worry about what she does - get on with your life and make sure you're in a stable place when her relationship crumbles so you don't get sucked back into it.

Agree with this.

You two were together a very long time so your bound to be still attached. Looking back you can see all the faults too. Concentrate on yourself now. Don't worry about her or how she is getting on and don't let yourself be sucked back in. Time for you to move on and live your life. I am sure you'll find someone who wants the same things you want. She will probably regret letting you go but its definitely her loss not yours!