Would you miss your child's first day at school?

LegacyUser

I'm starting college as a mature student soon and I've been invited at the end of the month to participate in a two day introduction to the college for mature students.

The only thing is that the day this workshop begins will be my sons first day of big school. If I go to it I won't be able to drop him at school or pick him up. 

I don't know whether to attend the day at the college or not. I think my son is my priority and I should be with him on his first big day at school but others are telling me that if i skip the first intro day at college, I'll be left out  because everyone will have made friends with each other.

What would everyone else do?

Toast4532

I would say bring your son to school and miss the intro day at college.

You will have plenty of time to make friends at college anyway, but you won't get another chance to bring your son to his first day of school.

WhimSock

Your childs first day at school is a much bigger thing than your first day at college. He will remember it forever.

username123

WhimSock wrote: »

He will remember it forever.

Do you think so?

Ive absolutely no recollection of mine!!

Who could bring the child if it wasnt you OP?

bhovaspack

In all honesty OP, these induction day things are rarely all they're cracked up to be.

The real opportunity to bond and make friends with other mature students will be when you get stuck into the work and you're discussing classes, assignments, lecturers etc. The introduction day will probably be less important.

LadyMayBelle

It's a big deal for you son, whether he shows it to you or not. I do believe you should go, and the induction days are usually not that interesting!

Bobby42

Hey OP,

I'm a mature student myself, and I missed some of the introduction/orientation stuff for much less significant reasons than a kids first day at school!

Loads don't go to these things as many other mature students have kids too.

When you get into college you can say to anther mature student I missed the introduction day cos my kid going to school, the response will be oh so did I!

Go and enjoy the moment, I've heard they grow up quick!

Supercell

I'm 41 and I still remember my first day at school! Now that I think of it, I don't remember my first day at Uni though or secondary school for that matter.
Bring your kid to school, its the biggest day of his life so far (bar birth )

LegacyUser

If I was to go to the college intro day then my mother would have to bring her and collect her too. To me it's a huge deal and even though she may not remember it, I certainly will.

I just don't know if the college intro day is worth it. According to friends it's the only chance I'll get to meet everyone because by the time I go in on the second day everyone will be in their new 'groups'

I think I'd rather be a loner for four years than miss his first day! Also it's not a gathering of mature student and not all my actual classmates. I'll still be attending a different even just aimed at the people starting my course.

jester77

I can still remember my first day of school like it was yesterday. My mum took me, we were all in a circle in the main area as the teacher talked to us, she then brought us into the room one by one without our parent(s) and showed and explained everything to us. My mum then picked me up later that day before school was officially over and took me home and I was upset leaving the other kids behind.

It was the only day I remember from that year and it was one I will never forget. It is a huge day for your child and a day you really shouldn't miss. They will most likely remember and treasure that day for the rest of their life. I know I do.

tinkerbell

OP, there is no point whatsoever to show up to an "introduction" day. They are a complete waste of time. You need to be there for registration, whenever that is but not to just get an introduction to the college.

LegacyUser

While I don't recall my first day of school and think it's a bigger deal for parents then kids I don't think you'll miss anything by skipping the intro day in college. I've done 3 college degrees went to the intro days for two and skipped one and it made no difference at all. My first college course I started late, missed the first week and had no issue making friends or getting caught up on what I'd missed. With mature students it's even less a deal to make the intro day OP, you'll find alot of those on the course are in the same boat as you either they'll have kids/commitments or have already been through a college course and not feel the need to be there for a basic introduction.

Bobby42

Singlemomtoone wrote: »

If I was to go to the college intro day then my mother would have to bring her and collect her too. To me it's a huge deal and even though she may not remember it, I certainly will.

I just don't know if the college intro day is worth it. According to friends it's the only chance I'll get to meet everyone because by the time I go in on the second day everyone will be in their new 'groups'

I think I'd rather be a loner for four years than miss his first day! Also it's not a gathering of mature student and not all my actual classmates. I'll still be attending a different even just aimed at the people starting my course.

That's what I thought too. I missed orientation day for mature students, but now I'm the Mature Students Co - ordinator for UCDSU!

I've found mature students to be a lot more open to meeting people, especially meeting fellow mature students. There's much more of a sense of community and commaradery with mature students. They usually sit together in class and support each other.

You won't be the only one to have missed the day as most of the other mature students will have family demands just like yourself.

I missed orientation day because I was at the electric picnic. But I found becoming friends with mature students easy enough as they tend to be a lot less cliquey than the school leavers.

Toast4532

OP introduction days are pointless and if you will be attending a different introduction day that's aimed specifically at the course you will be doing, then I see no reason for you to miss your daughters first day at school.

Your child will only have one first day at school, and that is far more important than any introduction day.

I've missed introduction days before and had no problem making friends on the course, I certainly didn't find that people had already joined into 'groups' and I was a loner.

OP you will have the rest of your course to make friends, don't miss your daughters first day at school, it will be her only first day at school.

Meauldsegosha

Singlemomtoone wrote: »

I think I'd rather be a loner for four years than miss his first day! Also it's not a gathering of mature student and not all my actual classmates. I'll still be attending a different even just aimed at the people starting my course.

Well you've answered your own question there. I don't have any kids but I know from friends how important this day is to them. So bring your daughter to school and enjoy the moment.

Incidentally I missed the first two weeks of college through illness but I still made friends, some of who I'm still friends with 15 years later.

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username123

Singlemomtoone wrote: »

If I was to go to the college intro day then my mother would have to bring her and collect her too. To me it's a huge deal and even though she may not remember it, I certainly will.

Well theres your answer!

Singlemomtoone wrote: »

I just don't know if the college intro day is worth it. According to friends it's the only chance I'll get to meet everyone because by the time I go in on the second day everyone will be in their new 'groups'

The friendship forming part of college is fluid over the first few weeks and people take time to settle into established groups. It certainly doesnt happen only on the intro day!

Maybe your friends are projecting fears they would have about an intro day onto you? Its not a true reflection of intro days.

Singlemomtoone wrote: »

I think I'd rather be a loner for four years than miss his first day!

lol - you wont be a loner for 4 years. Relax and go enjoy bringing your child to the first day at school.

Blisterman

Could you not do both? Drop him off, attend some of the induction and then pick him up?

WhimSock

username123 wrote: »

Do you think so?

Ive absolutely no recollection of mine!!

Who could bring the child if it wasnt you OP?

Well it might be for some kids. Maybe my wording was dramatic, but was emphasising that school for a child and college for an adult vary in signifigance. I just finished a 4 year course as a mature student. Couldnt remember the first day and made friends throughout the course.

LadyMayBelle

Which would you regret the most looking back in ten years time?

Unless there's anything you need to sign up for on the introduction day - miss it.

ifElseThen

Skip the induction and see your son on his first day.
If it goes pear-shaped, at least you'll be there to comfort him.
If it goes swimmingly, in years to come when you're old and grey and weary , it'll be another nice memory for you to have.
You'll have no problem at all making friends in the days and weeks after you begin. And you've 4 more years to make friends with everyone!

woodchuck

Like everyone else has said; go for your sons first day of school!

If you only concern is that you'll be left out after missing the induction, then you've nothing to worry about. Groups don't form on the very first day, they take time to develop. You'll have plenty of time to meet people and socialise throughout your course so I wouldn't worry.

I'd say you're much more likely to regret missing your sons first day of school than an induction to the college!

ash23

Op, I am assuming from your user name and the fact that you said your mum would have to bring him if you can't, that you are parenting alone.

That means you have to do the job of two parents and it also means you will have times where you simply cannot be where your child wants you to be. But you need to decide what is "important" and what isn't. And that is a totally personal thing.

I am parenting alone and work full time. And I have had to miss nativity plays and sports days. I would class the first day as being up there as really important. You will miss other things because of college so don't put too much pressure on yourself to be at every single thing. Guilt is the one curse of parenting and you need to be aware that there will be times you simply cannot be there (an exam clashing with a bake sale or match or all the million other things). But try to be there for the big ones and you won't feel so bad about missing the little ones.


PS - I don't remember my college orientation at all. Cant even remember if I went to be honest......But I remember with vivid clarity my childs first day at school.

Raspberries

I agree with everyone else, I think you should bring your child to school on their first day.

It can be really stressful for them and they could get very upset. They need one of their parents there to introduce them to big school. The new environment, the new people, the hustle and bustle of the first day can be overwhelming for a lot of kids. Even if you think he will be fine, he might get a bit nervous or scared. I'm sure your mother would be grand instead of yourself on the second day, but just for the first one he may need his mammy with him.

You can always go to the second day of the introductory course. They're really not a big deal, and you'll meet loads and loads of different people over your time in college, not just necessarily the people you meet on the first day. Best of luck with the course!

sunnymoon

I'm a teacher of infants for five years and i've taught over 150 children so far and just to mention i teach in a very good area. There is many children who have experienced their first day all by themselves or with babysitters, neighbours, grandparents etc. and tbh we think nothing of it, it happens so frequently. It's basically dropping them in and my advice to parents is to leave a soon as possible so the children will develop a sense of their new independence in the classroom enviornment.
Most likely from a family point of view it may be important to be there for photos in the morning before your child leaves for school, but as for dropping him into the class it'll be over and done in ten minutes and most children don't even notice their parents there or leaving.

It's up to you, but just to let you know it's more frequent than you think.:)

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the comments guys I really appreciate them!

My family still thinks I should not miss out on the college intro day and the thoughts of missing it does make me a bit nervous but I dont know if I could look back in ten years and be glad that I went to it.

I do think I would regret not being there for the first day of school. Although my child has been minded in a creche since 6 months old and is so used to being taken care of by others maybe sunnymoon you are right and its not such a big deal.

I think the only thing that is making me doubtful about being there at the school, is my family because they are so certain that I will be making a huge mistake by missing out on the day in college. If I had their support I dont think I would care as much. I dont understand how my mother can see my childs first day of school as nothing important when she raised 3 children herself and should know how much these things mean to mothers!

I even cried on her first day of creche and preschool and I'll always remember those days!

woodchuck

Singlemomtoone wrote: »

I think the only thing that is making me doubtful about being there at the school, is my family because they are so certain that I will be making a huge mistake by missing out on the day in college.

Why do they think it would be such a huge mistake; because they think you'll have missed your 'only' opportunity to make friends in your course? Are they basing this on anything in particular? Because as you can see from this thread, I think the vast majority have confirmed that the first day is not the be all and end all.

Just make sure you base your decision on what YOU want to do and not because you're being pressured into it by your family.

littlefriend

Singlemomtoone wrote: »

I think the only thing that is making me doubtful about being there at the school, is my family because they are so certain that I will be making a huge mistake by missing out on the day in college. !

As a mature student myself I can tell you they are wrong. Loads of people won't go to the orientation day and while you might talk to a few on that day you possibly won't see them again - at least that is what happened me. You will have lots of time to get to know everyone - as someone else said it is mostly when you get into your classes and small groups that you really form friendships with people.

Stavro Mueller

Having been there, done that, I think you should leave your child to school. My memory of orientation day was of sitting in a room listening to one person after another giving presentations. I don't recall any of it being particularly earth-shattering stuff. You're certainly not going to fail your exams because you didn't go! From the day itself I can't remember who I sat with, who I talked to etc. In other words, I don't think it's as important as leaving your child to school.

If I said that to my parents at the time though, they'd have had a conniption. Mainly because they never got to go to secondary school, let alone third level. They very much put a value on third level and would be a bit windy about us missing any lectures at all. I'm just telling you this to put a perspective on it.

I don't believe either that if you miss the orientation, that you've missed your chance to make friends. Far from it. Almost everyone in your class will be desperate to make new friends and find friendly faces. Especially if they're mature students. Any person in the class who looks like their age starts with anything other than a 1 is like a beacon of hope to others. Trust me, you're not missing much by not going to this.

Frank Grimes

Singlemomtoone wrote: »

My family still thinks I should not miss out on the college intro day and the thoughts of missing it does make me a bit nervous but I dont know if I could look back in ten years and be glad that I went to it.

I don't post in this forum but felt 'compelled' to on this thread. I did my undergrad as a mature student, like many of the others here have said; going to the first day of orientation really isn't the be all and end all of your whole university life, you will meet other mature students (along with the 'traditional' students) in the first few days/weeks of the course, you will make friends, and not everyone congregates into 'exclusive' groups upon first meeting.

I don't have children, but I really wouldn't give up taking my child to school on their first day in favour of going to an induction day where a bunch of people are standing around awkwardly trying to strike up conversations with each other; which is most likely what you can expect by going to the intro day, in my experience at least.

padd b1975

Is the childs father available for the school run?

At least then the little one will not feel too much alone if you decide to go to the induction day.

gara

Do what you think is right for you and your child, not what other people tell you.

From my experience, induction days are largely a waste of time. Think of it this way -has anyone never not been able to do something because they missed an induction day? Of course not.

Personally, there is no way I'd miss my child's first day at school for an induction day

Meller

My parents didn't bring me to school on my first day; I've never thought anything of it. I think they were both in work that day. I really don't remember much of it.

People get too bogged down in all these 'firsts'... it's sort of silly. It doesn't make any difference to a kid if you're not there for all the 'first' things so long as you're there for them most of the time in between. You'll have many, many other opportunities to bring your son to school and I'm sure he'll remember you being there all those years aftewards much more than he'll remember one overhyped day.

Sleepy

It's a four year course OP. I spent four years in college and beyond the friends I already had starting first year, not one of the gang I hung around with then is on the guest list for my wedding. I'm on Facebook with a handful of them but I'd rarely, if ever, see them.

Induction days are generally a "here's the canteen, here's the library, this is where the department office is. Study a bit every week and you won't end up in a panic the week before the exams. Attending lectures is important. Tutorials are important" etc.

You'll likely make, and leave behind, numerous friends while you're in college. If you're really keen to make some new friends look into any mature students society or join societies / clubs that you've an interest in. I've never met anyone who didn't make some new friends in college, whether they went to any introduction day or not.