Old love letters, keep or bin?

LegacyUser

Not a life or death problem, but I'm after stumbling across a load of old letters (about 15 years old) from an old flame from my teens. I am now happily married and the letters were from a spanish exchange student, so there's no chance of bumping into her in the street!

I don't know what to do with them though - should I just let the past be and bin them or keep them for nostalgic purposes?! (apologies if this is not a suitable post for the forum)

Ellsbells

Ah keep them to read when you are old and grey... There is no harm in keeping them.

LegacyUser

I have never received a single love letter, but I think if I had, I would keep them Could you even keep them in your parent's attic or something, where they are not readily accessible, but still safe?

Stavro Mueller

Ya, they're a nice thing to keep if you have fond memories. Just to throw a slight spanner in the works: would your wife be OK with you keeping them? Is there a chance she might stumble upon them and get upset?

filmbuffboy

i threw out a stack of love letters from my early 20's after a nasty breakup. a good few years on, i reallly regret it. keep them!

Katgurl

keep them - lovely!!! But put them away in the attic or something & maybe run it by your wife too. I'm sure she'll think its sweet.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the reply's!

cymbaline wrote: »

Ya, they're a nice thing to keep if you have fond memories. Just to throw a slight spanner in the works: would your wife be OK with you keeping them? Is there a chance she might stumble upon them and get upset?

There's no chance she'd stumble across them, found them in my old bedroom in my parents house where they are at present. But that would be my biggest fear! I guess I'll just say it to her and try and see what reaction I get.

calex71

In the times we live in with Internet etc. I think a hand written letter is something to be cherished now. Depending on other half they may or may not like to see them also. I know I wouldn't have an issue with a partner keeping such if there was no issue of them getting back together or what not.

/Reminds me to dig mine out next time i'm home, to make me smile and think how easy life was then

John Mason

if they make you smilel keep them.

recently, i had some work done in my attic and went through a load of stuff in boxes.

i kept cards/photos from one ex but dumped stuff from another cos i have not interest in remembering him.

but the other ex's things made me smile

Judes

Keep it all!

Like the other posters, I occasionally read through old letters/cards/ momentoes, I'm single and it keeps me strong as it reminds me that those who caused me to cry years ago, i.e. when it was a break up - well, you just get over them and look back and smile/laugh/cringe............ until the next time (What doesn't kill us makes us stronger).

I get a real kick out of the apology letters - aka -" it wasn't you, it was me" (yep I knew that). "you were too good for me" (yep I was). "I will regret what happened" (yep they did/still do).

They were all different phases in your life - it's great to look back at them. Not sure if I'd say the same about the photographs - but that's a case of bad taste in men and fashion.:D

deisemum

Keep them.

It wouldn't bother me if my husband had some love letters though knowing me I'd find it difficult to curb my curiosity and not read them, more for amusement than anything.

Rocket19

Aw definitely keep them!

They're a nostalgic thing, and not a sign you're still into the girl in question! Your wife should understand that, I can't imagine any reasonable person having a problem with it! They're 15 years old and from your teens, I don't see any reason why your wife would be threatened.

My mum recently found an old diary from when she about 16. It was full of lists of guys she'd liked, "dates" she'd been on, and some really embarrassing, angst-ridden poetry she'd written about an ex boyfriend.
Was so hilarious though. My Dad also found it hilarious.

Be a total shame to throw them out imo. No problem telling your wife, I'm sure she'd find them funny.

LegacyUser

I don't know if anyone will agree with me, but I would say that you should get rid of them. You've lived a long time without them - why do you need them now?

I don't practice what I preach though - I have a box of old love letters and photographs, and I find I don't think of a lot of people who sent them 99.9% of the time, until I come across this box. It's bittersweet for me. I find it hard to get rid of these things because they carry such happy memories, but the past is the past for a reason.

It's all part of life's rich tapestry, but, our lives are busy enough already without having to re-live an artificial past that is generated by seeing a still shot of our lives ten years' ago. Be they happy memories, or otherwise, I would get rid of the letters and let the memories come if they feel natural. No need to be shot back into what's gone before.

Skuxx

Yeah I think you should absolutely keep them OP, they are just something harmless form your past that you have fond memories of, no harm done!!

LegacyUser

Op when i met my hubby i threw away EVERY love letter/valentine i ever got from an ex because i was so happy.

Im still with my hubby and i have loads of love letters he wrote me when we were dating, but honestly i wish i had kept the other ones.

Its not out of love for the past people- its you forget about old feelings, old songs, olD laughts you had, and the stupid soppy crap ye wrote when ye thought ye were in love. do keep them. be something to remind ya when your old and grey

tinkerbell

I see absolutely no reason to keep old love letters. I would say to bin them.

Recessionbust

I would say bin them, put the shoe on the other foot and imagine how you would feel if your wife kept them.

Why would you even want to? The past is the past, leave it be and anything associated with it. Your with someone else now and thinking or reading about old flames will not be of any benefit to you now.

If people move on and find new love and happiness then why hang onto the old?

up for anything

Recessionbust wrote: »

The past is the past, leave it be and anything associated with it. Your with someone else now and thinking or reading about old flames will not be of any benefit to you now.

Tell your wife and keep them. If she feels threatened or is made uneasy by the prospect of you keeping letters that old then I would suggest counselling for her because there would be problems in your relationship with her at present or problems will occur in the future.

You're hardly likely to keep thinking about her or rereading the letters so it wouldn't affect your relationship as it is.

We all need some connections to our past, whatever form they take, as we get older. Memories can be unreliable.

LegacyUser

I would have to agree with the posters who suggested binning them.

I would be so hurt if I found that my partner had kept old love letters without telling me. I would feel that there must be something to hide or they would have told me.

I have binned every love letter from a number of exes. For me, it was part of getting closure after the end of each relationship.

Each to their own I guess, but I think if you decide to keep them, then you should tell your wife so there are no nasty surprises for her in the future. She might be completely fine with it. She might even have her own stash of love letters!