Friend keeps commenting on my finances

LegacyUser

Hi everyone

Now sorry but this is long

I’m getting married in December, with my partner 10 years. We saving mad last 3 years and We have it all paid for now- there’s about 1000 left in the bank because we got good few discounts so we didn’t complain. Decided to use the 1000 for a little weekend away for our honeymoon.

A friend of mine was in my house last month-Long story short she looked at my bank statement and commented that I still had money in it even though my weddings paid for.

Now this statement was in a Fila fax that she had no business looking into and I ate the face off her for it and asked her to leave my house, which she did. I didn’t talk to her for a week because I was so angry- but I decided to forgive her because honestly I know people can be nosy and its human nature.

Since then though she keeps commenting on my finances

I got a few new tops in the charity shop and wore 1 of them to her husbands birthday party and she didn’t believe I got it in charity shop and kept calling me “Paris Hilton” and saying “Oh don’t touch Paris 1000 euro top” She said this to other people though not to me and I only found out 2 days ago

Went for a bit of lunch with my fiancé and his parents (their treat) and my fiancé made the mistake of putting it up on Facebook that we had a nice lunch and she commented up “Oh la de da- nice to have money!”

When I wasn’t in the mood to go out at the weekend she text me “Oh come on moneybags stop putting on the poor mouth I know whets in your bank” (which she got a swift “piss off” for)

When I met the girls Monday for lunch she announced to everyone “Moneybags is hiding 1000e in the bank so lunches on her

Now im not proud of myself but I lost it with her - I gave out that my finances were not her business. She then said “Oh well you seem to have a lot of money lately” and I said “That’s not your bloody business ok- ive been buying clothes in charity shops - living on 40e food shopping a week and cutting my own hair and you begrudge me a few new new clothes and a meal”

I have not spoken to her since, she’s text me saying im “uptight” and said “Jesus money changes people”

How has money changed me?? - ive been living on the breadline the last 3 years so I can have the wedding of my dreams, she has seen me feel guilty about buying a 4euro top from charity shops, she has seen me drink at home and have water in pubs on nights out, and I have one meal and a few new clothes and im suddenly uptight?

Dixie Chick

To be honest she sounds like an asshole! She has overstepped so many boundaries and I would wonder if there is something lacking in her. I am sorry, but as a working adult, €1000 in the bank isnt that strange a thing to have/ You dont need to explain abut cutting your own hair or where you buy your clothes to her. Have other friends commented that this is out of line from her?

To be honest I am a bit baffled!!

LittleBook

utfrnd wrote: »

Now im not proud of myself but I lost it with her - I gave out that my finances were not her business. She then said “Oh well you seem to have a lot of money lately” and I said “That’s not your bloody business ok- ive been buying clothes in charity shops - living on 40e food shopping a week and cutting my own hair and you begrudge me a few new new clothes and a meal”

I'm proud of you.

Your "friend" is acting very strangely. Probably she's broke herself and is simply jealous of you.

If she's in touch again I'd very calmly tell her that she's the one with the problem, not you ... that she's become a crazy, money-obsessed, bítch since she read your bank statement and if she doesn't stop making comments to you (and others!) about your financial situation then you won't be having anything to do with her anymore.

looksee

I totally agree with everything the others have said, and I would be looking for a proper apology from her for her behaviour. She really has a problem, that doesn't mean you have to put up with it.

P. Breathnach

She said one true thing: “Jesus money changes people”. Your ability to manage your finances (fair dues to you) has changed her.

It was wrong of her to snoop, and you let her know that. But to disclose to others what she discovered by snooping is even worse. You don't need friends like that.

RDM_83 again

Thats really really weird and also completely illogical behavior, having 1000 in an account isn;t strange at all, I mean I;ve been completely and utterly broke the last year and often my balance would have been over that simply because of money coming in, in lump sums. It if it was 10K she'd still be totally in the wrong but at least it would make sense

Chicago Chick

That is very strange behaviour alright and as others have posted having €1000 in your account would not be unusual. It is possible your friend may be having financial difficulties of her own but that really is besides the point. Her actions are not that of a friend and as bad as it was to read your statement, to discuss it with other people after is not acceptable. If she really can't see she is wrong here maybe you need to distance yourself from here for a while.

Lollipops23

What an utter psycho.
I would be stunned if ANYONE went through my bank statement and broadcasted it like that. As if it's her business at all?! And I'm sorry, 1000 in the bank is hardly mad- it's rainy day money at the very least.
I'd seriously uninvite her from your wedding; she'll only be commenting on every little thing there too.

She sounds like an out and out nutcase.

Best of luck with your big day.

mood

RDM_83 again wrote: »

Thats really really weird and also completely illogical behavior, having 1000 in an account isn;t strange at all, I mean I;ve been completely and utterly broke the last year and often my balance would have been over that simply because of money coming in, in lump sums. It if it was 10K she'd still be totally in the wrong but at least it would make sense

Also even when you are broke you need emergency money for things like doctors, washing machine/car repairs. It's only common sense.

leeroybrown

It's probably jealousy. If a "friend" of mine was acting like this I don't think I'd want anything to do with them for quite a while and I certainly wouldn't want them anywhere near my wedding. I'd also take some of my other good friends aside individually and apologise to them for making life awkward but that I really didn't want to be around this person anymore due to their ongoing behaviour and would probably be avoiding them whenever we're together. To some it might sound a bit harsh but I really don't suffer people treating me badly.

thefeatheredcat

Has she released other snide remarks on you about anything else other than money in the recent past?

This is pure jealously and attention seeking. She's trying to pull you down a peg or two to discredit you and undermine you, and the money is just an excuse. She was deliberately snooping based on actually going to the trouble of looking for your bank statement in the first place; it wasn't just lying around for anyone to see, she had to look for it. So what's the real reason? This isn't just about money, that I would see as only a mechanism to get at you about something else.

She sounds incredibly bitter and very unhappy in herself. You were right to give out to her, your money that you are actually being responsible with is none of her business and it's not her business to know your affairs and you shouldn't feel obligated to explain or justify yourself.

tbh I'd dump her as a friend, I have a feeling she will keep this up right up to the day of your wedding in December and try to make you as unhappy and continue with digs and snide remarks at you about everything and I think she will get dirtier as time goes on. She had the balls to mouth off publically on facebook, accuse you of hiding money in front of your friends so what's coming next? For your own personal happiness ditch the girl she's obviously unhappy about something and is taking it out on you. It is a reflection of herself and not you.

Don't give her the satisfaction of responding to her texts either. Don't let her phase you, just go about your life as normal and enjoy it and don't let her get to you.

Neyite

I agree with the others that you had every right to lose it with her, and call her on her terrible behaviour.

I dont get the snide remarks though - you say you have been scrimping for your wedding, do you think that she might think you were stingey in rounds during that time or not going out say, for her birthday, and now that she sees that you have your dream wedding paid for and a little in the bank she is annoyed at you?

No excuse of course, your money and how you choose to spend it is entirely your business. I would mortify her into it the next time she says it in public, announce to everyone:

"The reason X is saying I paid €1000 for this top because she snooped in my filofax and saw I have €1000 banked for my honeymoon, and hasnt stopped mentioning it since. It seems to piss her off for some reason that I want a honeymoon"

ABajaninCork

Whether you're 1k in credit or debit is none of her bloody business!

My Mum always told me: Never look at what others have. You don't know how they came by it! For all she knew that money might've been put aside to pay bills.

I'd just cut the biatch loose now. Even after you blasting her, she still doesn't get it, and clearly has no idea how to behave. Neither would I have her anywhere near your wedding. You have the patience of a saint to even SPEAK to her after she snooped in your private affairs. I would've kicked her to the kerb (in all senses) after that.

She clearly finds your life more interesting than hers. She needs to get out more!

cruais

She is not your friend...

mood

Did none of your friends question her behaviour?

stargazer 68

Neyite wrote: »

"The reason X is saying I paid €1000 for this top because she snooped in my filofax and saw I have €1000 banked for my honeymoon, and hasnt stopped mentioning it since. It seems to piss her off for some reason that I want a honeymoon"

Now that would be what I would do!

LegacyUser

utfrnd wrote: »

Hi everyone

Now sorry but this is long

I’m getting married in December, with my partner 10 years. We saving mad last 3 years and We have it all paid for now- there’s about 1000 left in the bank because we got good few discounts so we didn’t complain. Decided to use the 1000 for a little weekend away for our honeymoon.

A friend of mine was in my house last month-Long story short she looked at my bank statement and commented that I still had money in it even though my weddings paid for.

Now this statement was in a Fila fax that she had no business looking into and I ate the face off her for it and asked her to leave my house, which she did. I didn’t talk to her for a week because I was so angry- but I decided to forgive her because honestly I know people can be nosy and its human nature.

Since then though she keeps commenting on my finances

I got a few new tops in the charity shop and wore 1 of them to her husbands birthday party and she didn’t believe I got it in charity shop and kept calling me “Paris Hilton” and saying “Oh don’t touch Paris 1000 euro top” She said this to other people though not to me and I only found out 2 days ago

Went for a bit of lunch with my fiancé and his parents (their treat) and my fiancé made the mistake of putting it up on Facebook that we had a nice lunch and she commented up “Oh la de da- nice to have money!”

When I wasn’t in the mood to go out at the weekend she text me “Oh come on moneybags stop putting on the poor mouth I know whets in your bank” (which she got a swift “piss off” for)

When I met the girls Monday for lunch she announced to everyone “Moneybags is hiding 1000e in the bank so lunches on her

Now im not proud of myself but I lost it with her - I gave out that my finances were not her business. She then said “Oh well you seem to have a lot of money lately” and I said “That’s not your bloody business ok- ive been buying clothes in charity shops - living on 40e food shopping a week and cutting my own hair and you begrudge me a few new new clothes and a meal”

I have not spoken to her since, she’s text me saying im “uptight” and said “Jesus money changes people”

How has money changed me?? - ive been living on the breadline the last 3 years so I can have the wedding of my dreams, she has seen me feel guilty about buying a 4euro top from charity shops, she has seen me drink at home and have water in pubs on nights out, and I have one meal and a few new clothes and im suddenly uptight?

OP is she really your friend?? a 1000euro is hardly like winning the lotto. Its good thing to put money aside on a monthly basis and have a kind of slush fund for emergencies when you need it. I put money into account to cover things like electricity, car insurance, tax, etc so that when those bills arrive I'm not taking money out of my deposit account and then leaving myself short for the month.
My best friend pretty much lived on beans on toast in order to save up for her weeding as well. Its a good thing to do as you don't have debts and worries when its over and done. Spend the money on a nice hol and enjoy yourself ..ditch the friend she's very nosey and totally untrustworthy.

Katgurl

I had a 'friend' do something slightly similar to me last year. I'm very lucky that even during recession I've managed to keep working. I go to college full time and do consulting contracts around term time. I've worked hard at my career and have built a good reputation and manage to earn enough that the summer months wages cover me for the year if I also do a bit of ongoing work. Given that I'm working overseas on my own while everyone else is relaxing I'm not going to apologise for having some money to spend on myself (odd taxi or whatever) during term time and I absolutely am generous.

A few of my college fellow mature students get back-to-education allowance (dole basically) and rent allowance which I'm not entitled to. This lady and my ex are among them. Obviously this doesn't lend itself to a luxurious lifestyle but they have their basics covered.

One day they both started making snide remarks at me about lady muck is too good for the bus, I said bus wasnt running for another 40 mins so I didn't see 6euro fare as big deal. Then I realised they had discussed something about it and the friend suddenly seemed to lose her temper and said she couldn't understand how I was getting paid bonuses on top of my daily rate (she'd overheard me on phone) and what was I doing that was so great anyway. I ignored her and left but I was seething.

After many many more comments like you've described yourself - calling me moneybags, telling complete strangers I was a high earner "no money issues with this one", accusing (yes that's what it felt like) me of buying new handbag when I'd taken one out of my wardrobe among many others.

By then I'd has enough so I said "I didn't buy this handbag but I wouldn't see anything wrong if I had. I've earned this money and I don't comment on anyone else's financial situation - where they get their money or how they spend it"

Your friend is 100% wrong here. You should not be explaining if you got your top in charity shop or justifying your savings. I agree with previous posters who say bin her. She will ruin your wedding day and I would tell her very calmly why she was being uninvited.

Malari

Neyite wrote: »

"The reason X is saying I paid €1000 for this top because she snooped in my filofax and saw I have €1000 banked for my honeymoon, and hasnt stopped mentioning it since. It seems to piss her off for some reason that I want a honeymoon"

I would definitely either go along these lines, or something even more sarcastic....

"Well, I'm glad she only saw this account, and not the plans for my gold-lined jacuzzi with the swarovski crystals that's going in next week."

I think you should stop justifying it OP. It's just what she wants - you to feel uncomfortable for some reason.

IrishEyes19

If you had 3 million in the bank its none of her business!!! She's jealous plain as. We've all been there trying to scrape pennies together bt i would never begrudge a friend over it; if anything id be pleased for them. weddings are so pricey. so well done. id cut ties with her op

Toast4532

She is no friend.

No true friend would snoop through your stuff, they certainly wouldn't disclose such private information, they wouldn't begrudge you having any amount of money, they wouldn't begrudge you buying new clothes etc, and they certainly wouldn't be making nasty/snide comment about you, either in person or on Facebook.

This girl is jealous of you, plain and simple. You have what she wants and she doesn't like that at all, so is being a bítch towards you, but doesn't realise (or maybe she does realise, but doesn't care) that it's reflecting badly on her and not on you.

Don't have her at your wedding, she will ruin the day, she will make nasty and snide comments on every little detail, from flower, colour schemes, your dress, bridesmaids, table plans, readings, ring, shoes, everything, absolutely everything.

Cut her out of your life and move on, you don't need friends like her.

Oryx

If a stranger nosed into your private business and broadcast details online and to your friends you would call the guards. What this girl has done is so outrageous and beyond what is acceptable I think you have no choice but to completely cut ties. No friend would behave like that in a million years. God, I know people who hate me who wouldnt stoop that low.

You really dont need someone using the label of friendship to get away with such horrible behaviour. Though when you cut ties you will need to explain clearly why to your mutual friends, because I imagine your 'friend' will be capable of spreading her own venomous story of why you are both not speaking.

Big Bag of Chips

Stop replying to her.
When she texts don't text back. She's looking for a row (for some reason) and you are giving it to her.

Maybe talk to some of your other close friends and get their advice? Maybe they would have a word with her and tell her she is completely out of line. Coming from you it's "uptight", but maybe coming from someone else it might make her think twice about saying anything.

She'll still think it though, but she might stop saying it out loud.

Personally, I wouldn't have any more to do with her - she's gone too far.

Ellsbells

Yeah she has gone way too far. Dump her. She sounds a bit unhinged. why would you look at someones person effects and then on top of that, brazenly broadcast it???? Cuckoo.

leahyl

OP I'm going to make this short and sweet - remove that girl from your life. She is not a friend. Your finances are absolutely none of her business or concern. How dare she root through your personal files and then berate you and mock you based on what she thinks she knows about your financial situation - what true friend would actually do that???!!!

Not worth it, get rid.

Nanazolie

A few years ago, when everyone was rolling in money (or pretending to be), it was the norm to talk about how much you paid for this and that. Now, it seems shameful to even buy a new pair of shoes or go for a meal out. Have we completely lost it? When someone works hard and pays their taxes, thus supporting people who have lost their jobs or unable to work, what they do with their hard earned cash is no one's business. If you don't owe anything to anyone, if you don't fraud the social welfare, then it's your money to spend.
I'd actually put it in her face, just for the sheer pleasure of seeing her go green with jealousy: hey, do you like my new handbag? It was only 500€ in the sales, I couldn't possibly resist it (make sure you fish out a nice enough one from your wardrobe for this one). Tell her that she MUST try out this new restaurant, you have been twice already, it's so good (pick up an expensive one. You don't care if you've never set a foot in there).

LegacyUser

hi all

thank you for all the replies. i tried to respond earlier but it wouldnt go through on my phone for some reason

i have spoken to the friends that were in the cafe when i ate the other girl. they said that they think i am overreacting that she was only joking, but that they agree that her looking at my bank statement was ignorant. She told them that the bank statement was just lying on my bed- which is bull! my filofax is under my bed at all times so she went rooting.

to the poster who asked if i was maybe stingy with drinks on nights out, we never did rounds, never i would ever do it because all my friends drink glasses of wine and whiskey, and my hubby and i drink pints so it wasnt fair with their drinks costing more than ours.

What i think annoys me the most is not that she made comments about it-its the fact money was never a topic until she lost her job 6 months ago.I never noticed it before but she bangs on about money a lot- and it didnt come to my attention until she started berating me about it

I have not text her at all, she keeps texing me randomly calling me "Mrs bucket" and saying "youd want to learn to take a joke- moneybags has lost her sense of humour since shes had 100e notes to throw around"

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

ABajaninCork

The fact that she's since lost her job explains a lot. But it doesn't give her the right to go through your stuff or to pass nasty comments. Not even the Gards do that without either your permission or a 'W'!!

Your so-called friends need a reality check. How on earth is making personal remarks about your finances 'a joke'? Real big of them to acknowledge that what this b!tch did was not on. The remarks made afterwards were no joke. They were made out of jealousy, spite and malice. I would also make it plain, the statement was not on the bed as claimed, but actually out of view. You have the patience of a saint. If that were me, I would've knocked her spark out!!

Ditch the b!tch. She's vulgar, bitter and spiteful and a liar. Just keep ignoring her. I would also delete her from your FB and get your partner to do the same. Remember -you've done nothing wrong and can hold your head up.

Ellsbells

So if the statement was lying on your bed, why was she poking around your bedroom??? :mad:

I have to wonder, seeing as your friends are not taking this seriously, if there is more to it... Maybe they do see ye sticking together to save c€2 per round and they think ye are mean for doing this when you do have money...

As for the texts - I dont like swearing but I think a reply along the vein of 'p... off' is warranted here.

xzanti

Sounds like there's a bit of a 'want' in her tbh..

I would cut her loose.. she's a liability.

LegacyUser

I was in a similar situation a few years back,
It was exam time in college and me and my friends were all "Oh I'm screwed I've no study done" so we agreed that we'd all meet up the morning of the exam to study together (it was in the afternoon) so that night I stayed up writing out notes to have ready.

Anyway when we met up the next morning I left my notebook down and my friend picked it up and saw the notes and ... I can't describe the look on her face ... I dunno smug maybe?
But she started going on "Oh Look who's been studying ... Mrs Know-it-all has loads of notes" and so on. Anyway I was flustered like "wtf I only wrote them last night to have them ready for today". But I think the crux of her outrage towards my supposed "swotting" was a) she felt somewhat betrayed, I said I'd no study done and she thought I had and b) she was scared of the exam and how unprepared she was.

Now with your friend, I don't know how you normally speak about finances with your group of friends. Like if your friend asks you to come out for a drink and do you say "No thanks I'm broke" or "No thanks I'm trying to save money for the wedding"?

The reason I ask is because I'm guessing your friend is seriously low on funds and maybe thought that you were in the same position as her and to discover this magical 1000k you've been "hiding" all this time has scared her, like my friend thinking I'd be secretly studying all along.
Or maybe she doesn't get why you're being so "tight" (in her eyes - economical lifestyle, charity shops, cutting your own hair, not buying rounds etc) if you "have money".


But what I really don't understand is why you telling her that money is for your honeymoon didn't put a stop to all that?
Or did you not tell her that before you threw her out of the house? (not that you should have to explain what the money is for!)

Some people love other peoples misery, maybe the thought of you not being able to afford a honeymoon as well as the wedding made her feel better about her own financial situation. Also not having a job is probably giving her lots of time to stew and obsess.

Abi

Petty, bitchy interfering woman. Why you would want to remain friends with such a toxic human being is beyond me.

So she lost her job. So have a lot of people, but you don't begrudge your friends. She is supposed to be happy for you. She gets no sympathy vote from me. You forgave her first time around, which was big of you. But to carry on broadcasting your personal information and the snide remarks? She wasn't sorry in the first place. Get rid of her, now.

hdowney

Agree with everyone else. She ain't no friend. You do NOT snoop in people's personal belongings. You do NOT broadcast their private affairs to others. You do NOT bitch out your mate for having a few bob in the bank. She sounds spiteful and jealous and like she is trying to get you to give her your money or something. Like she can guilt you out of some of it. So she lost her job, so have plenty others and they don't do that to their friends.

Your other mates sound a bit soft too

mood

To be honest the how she find you back statement it the worse part about it all I think. How would your other friends like if she did that to them? Even if you do decide to stay friends with her don't have her in your home again.

LittleBook

utfrnd wrote: »

i have spoken to the friends that were in the cafe when i ate the other girl. they said that they think i am overreacting that she was only joking, but that they agree that her looking at my bank statement was ignorant.

Friends are notorious for (understandably) not wanting to take sides in situations like this. Plus, they haven't experienced the cumulative effect of the jibes and comments, they were commenting on this one incident. So I wouldn't hold this against them nor would I worry too much that they don't seem to agree with you.

utfrnd wrote: »

What i think annoys me the most is not that she made comments about it-its the fact money was never a topic until she lost her job 6 months ago.I never noticed it before but she bangs on about money a lot- and it didnt come to my attention until she started berating me about it

As I suspected, she's broke and thinks everyone else should be too. Her comment about money changing people is correct in that NOT having money can really change a person.

utfrnd wrote: »

I have not text her at all, she keeps texing me randomly calling me "Mrs bucket" and saying "youd want to learn to take a joke- moneybags has lost her sense of humour since shes had 100e notes to throw around"

Really, she's just being a total bítch now and, as I think someone else said, seems to be a bit unhinged. It's possible the pressure of losing her job is getting to her and she's taking it out on you ... not that I'm excusing her behaviour.

How would you feel about cutting her out of your life as some have suggested?

Sittingpretty

I'd have cut her loose after reading your personal statements.

She's jealous and sounds like a lousy friend to be honest.

LegacyUser

Sittingpretty wrote: »

I'd have cut her loose after reading your personal statements.

+ 1 I would have done the same. I dislike my OH looking at my personal mail and statements and have told him off when he's done it but he at least lives in the house. Someone else coming in and going through your personal stuff? Totally out of order! Had the statement been sitting on the bed/table/whatever right in front of her so she couldn't help but see it wouldn't matter to me, she still shouldn't have brought it up to you in private or in public in front of other people. The fact that it wasn't out in plain sight makes her actions a million times worse, I would have chucked her out of the house there and then and most likely never have let her back in again as she can not be trusted. You shouldn't feel the need to babysit your friends when they are invited into your home.

The fact that she doesn't show any remorse and continues to harass you with texts like she is proves she is unhinged. Her having lost her job doesn't excuse any of her carry on. I spent a year out of work and did not begrudge any of my friends who were doing well.

Ellsbells

Seeing as privacy doesnt seem to be an issue for her, you should post this thread on her facebook page...

Nanazolie

She looked UNDER your bed?!!! :eek:
I would not even let her in my house. It's ok for friends to open the cupboards to help themselves of tea and biscuits. It's not to go through your papers. Is she also reading your letters?

LegacyUser

Ellsbells wrote: »

So if the statement was lying on your bed, why was she poking around your bedroom??? :mad:

She was using my en suite because other loo wouldnt flush, and my folofax was deffo under my bed where it always it, and i 100% know she went snooping as just before she called over i put my insurance renewl in the filofax so i remember putting it back under my bed.There was nothing left lying around.

Ellsbells wrote: »

Maybe they do see ye sticking together to save c€2 per round and they think ye are mean for doing this when you do have money...

We have never done rounds ever and ive always told my friends we are not, they know by now.

We only reliased we were going to have the extra money when we paid off wedding few months back, we got a good few discounts and ended up with 1000 for our honeymoon, and we wernt going to have a honeymoon so said why not

Miaireland

I would cut her out of your life. She clearly has no respect for you or your privacy. Don't be surprised if she starts looking for a "loan".

LegacyUser

devilsadvo wrote: »

Now with your friend, I don't know how you normally speak about finances with your group of friends. Like if your friend asks you to come out for a drink and do you say "No thanks I'm broke" or "No thanks I'm trying to save money for the wedding"?.

Normally I don’t mention money, I just say I cant tonight sorry.I don’t give excuses as I believe my reasons are my own.

devilsadvo wrote: »

Or maybe she doesn't get why you're being so "tight" (in her eyes - economical lifestyle, charity shops, cutting your own hair, not buying rounds etc) if you "have money".

I never had a load of money ever me and my fiancé have always had feck all money , and I always shopped in charity shops and she knows this- the belts were just extra tightened with the wedding

devilsadvo wrote: »

But what I really don't understand is why you telling her that money is for your honeymoon didn't put a stop to all that?
Or did you not tell her that before you threw her out of the house? (not that you should have to explain what the money is for!)

I told her the day in the café when I snapped, I told her that eas money we saved for a small honeymoon and she just rolled her eyes and went “whatever”

…………………………………………………………………………………..

She text me this morning and said “Oh I suppose you want me to say sorry now do ya, fine SORRY are we ok now”

I have contaced her and said the following

“No we are not ok, I never wanted an apology from you- I wanted you to have not gone SNOOPING in the first place(and don’t you dare deny it) and to have not started banging on about my money to everyone and anyone. where I buy my clothes-eat out- cut my hair is NONE OF YOUR ****ING BUSINESS and what I have in my bank is def not. I don’t want anything more to do with you. Your lucky I have not contacted the police after you rooting through my bank statements- the utter cheek of you! Get lost.

Lollipops23

Seriously, even if the bank statement was sitting folded up on your kitchen table, it's still horrendously rude of someone to read it!! Seriously, I've had a go off my own mother for reading my post when I left it downstairs. (although her favourite thing to do is ring me and say "there's a letter here for you, will I open it?!" :rolleyes:)

OP, cut her out, she's unstable. Honestly, she had NO idea of boundaries or what's appropriate.

ziedth

This whole story is bewildering OP,

Like if someone had 10k in the bank I don't think any reasonable person would consider them loaded. Let alone a grand. I would actually question her sanity being honest. At best she is unstable.

My advice, keep all those nasty texts on your phone and don't reply or react to any of them. For the sake of your mutual friends I wouldn't eat her out of it. Just phase her out of your life.

Good luck.

LittleBook

LittleBook wrote: »

How would you feel about cutting her out of your life as some have suggested?

utfrnd wrote: »

I have contaced her and said the following

“No we are not ok, I never wanted an apology from you- I wanted you to have not gone SNOOPING in the first place(and don’t you dare deny it) and to have not started banging on about my money to everyone and anyone. where I buy my clothes-eat out- cut my hair is NONE OF YOUR ****ING BUSINESS and what I have in my bank is def not. I don’t want anything more to do with you. Your lucky I have not contacted the police after you rooting through my bank statements- the utter cheek of you! Get lost.

Well, that answers my question

ibarelycare

Well done OP. No doubt she'll go stirring things behind your back now but just let her be. Make sure the people you care about know the truth, and just ignore any bitchiness and look forward to your wedding and honeymoon.

okiss

This so called friend of your is jelious of you. You have a job and are getting married. She also finds out that you have money in your bank account only because you were watching your spending and did not waste your money over the past few years.
She had no business looking at your bank statement and telling your other friends about this money.
You have done the right thing by telling her to get lost. I would let your other friends about her also.
I hope your wedding goes well.

LegacyUser

Hi all

ment to reply earlier but been out of house.

After i sent her that text she waited 2 hours then i got a big abusive text calling me a "physco" and saying to go to the police because "They wont arrest someone just because u say you think they have looked at your bank statement

Then she got some fright

I said "Oh i dont think... do you remember those cameras i put in my room when i thought my old tenant was stealing from me... THAY ARE STILL THERE!!! so yes i think i shall go to the police"

Quickly got back "Ok jesus so i looked at your bank statement dont go all CSI on me"

Now i dont actually have that camera in my room anymore but i now have the truth on my phone

Nothing i can do with it though. I have not answered her since and she has tried to ring me 3 times. im done with her

ABajaninCork

Good on ya! Keep the texts. Doubtless the silly cow will be mouthing off about how you're the bad one, you can't take a joke, yada, yada.

If anyone asks or makes an off key comment -NUKE HER!! Just show the texts without comment.

And yes - let her hit the road and stay here. With friends like her who needs 'em?

deisemum

At least you now have proof for your mutual friends. They should be very of her snooping in their personal stuff. It would be very difficult to trust her now especially after she admitted to snooping.

rainbowtrout

utfrnd wrote: »

Hi all

ment to reply earlier but been out of house.

After i sent her that text she waited 2 hours then i got a big abusive text calling me a "physco" and saying to go to the police because "They wont arrest someone just because u say you think they have looked at your bank statement

Then she got some fright

I said "Oh i dont think... do you remember those cameras i put in my room when i thought my old tenant was stealing from me... THAY ARE STILL THERE!!! so yes i think i shall go to the police"

Quickly got back "Ok jesus so i looked at your bank statement dont go all CSI on me"

Now i dont actually have that camera in my room anymore but i now have the truth on my phone

Nothing i can do with it though. I have not answered her since and she has tried to ring me 3 times. im done with her

Well done OP!

She's no friend of yours though. She's not sorry she did it, she's sorry that she was caught out by you.