advice needed

timtim1988

hello im a lad of 24 and im after falling in love with my 17 year old friend.im not sure exactly what i should do..any advice appreciated

Ellsbells

Do they know? Are they still in school?

timtim1988

ya there still in school..yes they know i like them..and they seem to like me to...shes way more mature than most 17 year olds though thats why im sooo confused on what to do

Ellsbells

For me, its a very big age time due to her stage of life.. There is a huge gap beween 17 and 24 no matter how mature she is...

Personally, I would leave it til she has at least started college, moved out from home, gained some life experience etc.

LegacyUser

Don't see anything wrong with it. Met my boyfriend few days before my 17th birthday, he was 23, going on 24 in a few months at the time, so almost seven years age gap.
Together now over 8 years, our age gap has never caused any problems thankfully.

I know that for quite a few couples though age gaps CAN cause problems, so maybe wait until she has her leaving cert out of the way before asking her out, just incase ye got together and it didn't work out, you wouldn't want the distraction of a breakup on her mind during her leaving cert. Just incase like. Again, I don't see any problem with the actual age gap though.

kjl

Ellsbells wrote: »

For me, its a very big age time due to her stage of life.. There is a huge gap beween 17 and 24 no matter how mature she is...

Personally, I would leave it til she has at least started college, moved out from home, gained some life experience etc.

Well in fairness, it is perfectly legal for them to start a sexual relationship. If the op feels he has a connection with the girl, then why wait?

The law is set in place for a good reason, at 17 she is legally allowed to decide for herself in this manner. Plus 24 is still quite young.

If the age gap was more along the lines of 30 - 17 then I could start to see your point, but 5 years is nothing.

Dinxminx

I think later in life, five years is nothing but I think that when you're seventeen a person can change an awful lot over the next five years. I know I did!

Ellsbells

kjl wrote: »

5 years is nothing.

I think it is when you are talking about a 17 year old in school. The next 5 years could change her immesurably - it did me.

jessiejam

As a mother of a 16 year old op, I wouldn't be happy at all if she came in and announced she had a boyfriend 7 years older than her. However, if I knew the 24 year old and knew that he was decent, respectful and kind to her, I might change my mind.
If ye are on the same level maturity wise it might all work out. But things may change a lot on her part in the next few years.
Take it slowly and don't put her under any pressure and see how things go. My advice?.. introduce yourself to her parents and make sure they get to know you as well.

jessiejam

Ellsbells wrote: »

I think it is when you are talking about a 17 year old in school. The next 5 years could change her immesurably - it did me.

Its a 7 year age gap not 5.

Ellsbells

jessiejam wrote: »

Its a 7 year age gap not 5.

Indeed but I didn't say there was a 5 year gap I said 5 years could change her immeasurably but thanks for the correction - it added a lot to the post overall .....

AllyMcFearless

Just talk to her about it and see. It may seem a big deal now, but if you're really serious about it, it's worth a shot!