how to spice up the sex a bit

LegacyUser

im a 2nd year college student and iv been going with the girlfriend since about Christmas. she was the first girlfriend i had and i would always have considered myself a shy guy, extremely shy when it comes to intimacy.

now sex is always good but sometimes it just becomes a little repetitive yano, we have never ventured from under the blankets, never done anything outside of the ordianary missionary job. no oral sex, nothing at all really. to be honest iv only seen her naked a handfull of times!

now iv narrowed it down to reasons things may be like this
she is equally shy in bed and doesnt say anything either
she doesnt want to/feel the need to do anything more
she she doesnt like it any other way

i dont say anything because im not very experienced and something i say could sound either like a great idea or i could come across as a creep. and since the usual is grand, no need to take any risks

its just that you hear stories in college about people doing this, that and the other, i know stories are only stories but they have some element of truth and i would like to be a bit more adventurous. so how can i do this while still being a gent and not putting myself to much out on the line

ibarelycare

You're together 8/9 months, have you actually sat down and spoken about your sex life to each other? That's the first step. There's no point in getting advice on ways to be adventurous when you don't know if that's what your girlfriend wants.

ElleEm

spice-up-the sex wrote: »

im a 2nd year college student and iv been going with the girlfriend since about Christmas. she was the first girlfriend i had and i would always have considered myself a shy guy, extremely shy when it comes to intimacy.

now sex is always good but sometimes it just becomes a little repetitive yano, we have never ventured from under the blankets, never done anything outside of the ordianary missionary job. no oral sex, nothing at all really. to be honest iv only seen her naked a handfull of times!

now iv narrowed it down to reasons things may be like this
she is equally shy in bed and doesnt say anything either
she doesnt want to/feel the need to do anything more
she she doesnt like it any other way

i dont say anything because im not very experienced and something i say could sound either like a great idea or i could come across as a creep. and since the usual is grand, no need to take any risks

its just that you hear stories in college about people doing this, that and the other, i know stories are only stories but they have some element of truth and i would like to be a bit more adventurous. so how can i do this while still being a gent and not putting myself to much out on the line

Take the initiative in doing different stuff then. It sounds like you're not that confident either, and I know talking about stuff can be a bit embarrassing. What about sending her a text (if you are texters) and tell her you would like to do "x, y, z" to her, or tell her you were thinking of her doing "x, y, z" to you etc. It doesn't have to be anything freaky, you could simply tell her you were remembering her kissing you and it turned you on or something. Just get the ball rolling with being more open about talking/ texting about sex stuff.

When you're having sex, throw the blankets off, whack the lights on, tell her you wanna see her body. Move around a bit, try new positions, ask her what feels good, or to show you how she likes to be touched etc. Let her know you find her attractive and wanna do more stuff with her. She sounds nervous too.

Fair play to you though, it's always good to wanna step your game up

davet82

ibarelycare wrote: »

You're together 8/9 months, have you actually sat down and spoken about your sex life to each other? That's the first step. There's no point in getting advice on ways to be adventurous when you don't know if that's what your girlfriend wants.

when you have sorted the above out, and you both know what you want to do/try , add a bottle of wine and a nice massage beforehand, help relax both of you as it can be a little daunting for someone so shy as your GF is, little steps too, dont go trying 'the helicoptor' straight off

anyways good luck dude

Dixie Chick

Had to google what helicopter was.. 100% failure rate. L O L

You need a chat first and then decide to try things based on it. Its a very exciting time when you start to open up with your first real partner.. just talk!!

Piliger

Hi - you should start with talking. Make it low key. when you're in bed doing pillow talk. nice and relaxed. You may be surprised and find she is thinking the same thing. Also ... baby steps ... and please please don't use porn movies you may have seen as a guide. They are fantasy. Also if you start going all crazy without telling her - think about what she will think... she may be shocked and worried. Talk first.

Roisy7

Guaranteed she's looking for more too, whether or not she wants to admit it.

Generally speaking, when women first start off they are a bit shy about speaking out about what they want, for fear of being labelled weird or whatever. But most guys find sexually confident women extremely attractive, it just takes women a while to realise this!

I agree with other posters, talk to her away from the bedroom. Just ask her is there anything she'd like to explore or do, maybe even use a little dutch courage for both of ye if you're too embarrassed to bring it up... (but not TOO much booze!)

Even get a little sex book or something, Ann Summers do great ones, or if she ever reads magazines like Cosmo have a look at them and talk about the stuff in them.

Good luck OP and have fun