Dating Advice

rochey84

Hi guys and gals,

I don't know if this is the correct place for this but the context means you guys will understand my concerns better than others. So here goes:

I was talking to a guy on Grindr on Friday night, we had spoken before and had meant to "hook-up" a couple of weeks previous but it didn't happen. Anyway as it happened he was in a pub with his mates on Friday night and I was joking saying I'd pop down let him buy me a pint etc and he wasn't turned off by the idea and I even jokingly suggested that he just come straight to mine instead of me going to him but he either didn't read it or didn't care to respond to it.

Anyway the upshot is that I went down met his mates had a laugh with them and him, had a dance and a lot of booze so we get to the end of the night and he asks if he is coming home with me and I leap at the chance. So we get back to mine and the expected happens and we have a REALLY good time! So next morning I decided to see if the really good time was just in hindsight so we went again and it was just as good.

We got up went out for breakfast and spent about 4 hours in each others company before I dropped him back to his place, we'd a good chat and kinda got to know each other.

My question to you guys is this:

Even though we initally spoke about just having some "fun" together is it possible to build on this?

Secondly I like the guy but if all he is looking for is a FB, I can deal with that but if I push it (i.e. suggesting that I want a relationship) I could loose out on an amazing FB experience while I wait for someone I click with that wants a relationship as well?

I keep thinking that he wouldn't have hung around for 4 hours when we got up on Saturday if he wasn't interested in more than just fun but I could be fooling myself there.

I did ask him if I'd see him again and he did say he'd "text me next time he is up" which suggests that I'll be a convience to him next time he is in my area. Which contradicts what I siad above! Any and all advice is appreciated.

Thanks


tl:dr - Am I an idiot meeting lads of Grindr and thinking more can come of it!!!

yagguy

Don't over-analyse it. Take your time. Enjoy what you have and see what develops. You don't have to define the relationship you have with this guy; that will become apparent after a month or two.

decmanning

Well you didnt sleep with him the 1st time you met up, there is definitly hope here, if you had slept with him the 1st time you met i dont think he would have been interested as this would turn any man off a relationship, he spent 4 hours with you the next morning, personally i run a mile and get out at the crack of dawn, this is another good sign that he is into you, just take it slowly, dont take it too seriuosly at 1st because you dont want to get hurt and just see how it develops but to me it sounds like he is into you and there could be something there

floggg

Sleeping with somebody on the first date would not turn "any man" off a relationship. Many a straight marriage has started with a one night stand and I imagine even more long term homosexual relationships too.

After all, it takes two to tango, so if you sleep with somebody on the first date, you can hardly judge them can you?

Or if you do, your a hypocrite who doesn't deserve them!

OP, it doesn't sound like he just wanted a wham bam thank you mam shag anyway (if it was strictly sex, there's no way he's would have introduced you to his friends).

That said, that doesn't mean he's looking for a LTR. He could be looking for something in between the two or he could just be playing it by ear with no set agenda.

You should just play it by ear yourself and see how it goes. Send him a text during the week, see how he plays it maybe. If you do meet up again, take it as it comes and move from there.

Also, is there a big geographic distance between you both? If so that might impact any what sort of expectations either or both of you should have.

bikeman1

Hey,

Sounds like you had a good night at the weekend! Don't worry about how you hooked up with him. You have met the real person and it seems you got on good. At least you know that you work with each other sexually (very important imo)

I met my bf of three years and counting on a one night stand similar to your one. So it is definitely possible to get something out of this. Don't force anything and see what comes of it. I didn't go out looking for a long term relationship, but it's what happened over time.

While there may be a lot of guys just looking for sex on those sites, there are still real guys out there looking for a little more than a ONS. Send him a text or two this week to get a sense of how he feels about you.

Have fun!

1ZRed

You can definetly get something out of it. This isn't just the usual "where are you", "want to fuck?" meet ups so I think you're off to a good start.

If you went down, met his mates, had a laugh and a good time with him and he didn't just go the next morning then yeah you could definitely get something out of it.

Of all the guys I meet with on grindr I make sure I get on well with them and can have a laugh and it's worked out really well in a lot of cases. I'm not really the guy to just want to hook up straight away but even then just because you have a hook up doesn't mean you can't get anything out of it.

That's a woman's mentality tbh ONS aren't just limited to a once off thing at all these days so get talking to him again.

rochey84

Cheers lads, I'm now thinking I shouldn't have posted this here cause if he is a boardsie I now look like a stalker lol but thanks for the responses even the ever so slightly judgemental 1!!!!!