How to start counselling?

LegacyUser

Hey,
I've been emotionally in bits over the last while, mostly through not dealing with abuse in the past, and not dealing with grief in the past and it's all really started to hit me recently. Everyday life is proving harder and harder to deal with.

I was thinking about starting counselling, but I have no idea how to go about it-should I look for someone close by (I live in a small enough town, but don't really know that many people here) or elsewhere-how do you go about finding a counsellor? Are they expensive? How long does it take? Should I expect to be in bits after each session? How do you go about telling them exactly what's wrong when you can only just about acknowledge it yourself?

Sorry for all the questions, but I've literally no idea where or how to start! Thanks in advance boardsies....X

Vicxas

The first and hardest part is making the call to someone, I suggest googling counsellors in your area or even go to your GP for advice, they will have a list of local therapists.

The usually cost about €50 per session and last about an hour, after your first session they will make a decision with you about how many sessions you need.

I would expect you to be emotional as they encourage you to open up and talk about everything as they need to get to the root of the issue. They'll ask you simple questions at first and then they'll take it from there.

sambuka41

Hi OP, fair play to you for considering counselling, its a difficult first step but it will be worth it in the long run.

I would chat with your GP, they will have some information about HSE services in your area. It may be free through the HSE but there can be long waiting lists and it all depends on your area. Some student counsellors will offer therapy at a reduced rate. If its a good GP they may be able to help you decide with type of therapy you would like to start, there are many different kinds.

Some are longer than others, some focus on coping techniques and others go back to "childhood"- dealing with how you came to be the person you are today. As the other poster said the shorter, behaviour focused therapies may give you a specific amount of sessions but most psychotherapists won't be able to tell you that after 1 session, or maybe ever; it'll take as long as it will take.

It's important to note that there are no regulations in this area in Ireland at the moment; anyone can register as a counsellor, so check out qualifications before you start. Any decent therapist will either advertise their qualifications or will be happy to tell you if asked. The new regulations that are coming in will for the most part mean that psychotherapists will have to be educated to masters level.

These guys are all fully accredited so it would be a good place to start looking, gathering information, they are psychotherapists,

http://www.irish-counselling.ie/index.php/what-is-counselling-psychotherapy



Everyone on this site is def masters level and above, they are psychologists, they can be more expensive, you'd be looking for a counselling psychologist

http://www.psychologicalsociety.ie/find-a-psychologist/




Again everyone on this site is accredited, long studies and been through their own analysis themselves, they are psychoanalysts, psychoanalysis is not for ever one, it can take time but it will help you look at everything that brought you to where you are now, not just specific traumatic incidents. ( I am studying, academically Lacanian psychoanalysis, so I am biased!! But its about finding what sounds right for you)

http://www.ifpp.org/index.html

Best of luck with it all.

LegacyUser

Hi op,
I've been to counselling for abuse as well, and I am a completely different person from how I used to be, it has helped me so so much, to get past the pain of it. That's not to say that I don't feel any pain in relation to it, you cant erase the past, but you can become strong enough to accept it to a point and live your life happily. So I would definately recommend it. It all depends on circumstance, but for me, I went to a lovely woman who was about 20 minutes away, which wasn't too far. Some sessions can be tougher than others, and often, I would feel very tired after a session, because you're dealing with emotions that you put so much effort into stuffing down every day and not thinking about, when you let them out it can be very draining.
There are a few avenues you can go down for counselling. You could try googling people in your area, or going to your GP for a recommendation, or emailing oneinfour.org, they would have people who specialise in sexual abuse. I would recommend going for someone with a background in that area, because it is very different from other issues, and it would be beneficial for you to have someone who can better understand where you are coming from. Particularly child sexual abuse because there are so many complicated issues that make it more difficult.
You might not like the first counsellor you meet, so I would say if that happens, go with your gut and keep looking until you find someone you click with. I would not recommend going to a cognitive behavioral counsellor, but perhaps someone who works from person-centred therapy, basically, they will sit with you and let you talk, guide and support you, where as the cognitive behavioral therapy focuses more on short term solutions, which for abuse, does not work in the long run at solving the underlying issues.
The process is different for everyone, for me though, I was in therapy for about a year and a half. But basically, there is no time frame, you go for counselling for however long you think you need. A large part of counselling is the reclaiming back of your power.
When I first went to counselling I thought it would be a doctor/patient kind of relationship, but it is not, you and your counseller are equals, they are there basically to witness your journey and help to guide you, comfort you, care for you, but ultimately, you are the expert on your self.
It cost me about 70euro for each session, but a lot of counsellers are open to discussing different prices, if you cant afford that.
You tell your counseller what is bothering you, when you are able to. I found it very difficult, but I was able to tell my one in the first session, but it is when you are ready to. If you can not verbalise it, even print off this page and show them this, and just explain that you cant say it out loud.
I would recommend you to get in contact with oneinfour.org, or even the drcc, both very helpful organisations.
Best of luck OP. Please don't give up on yourself. x

LegacyUser

Sorry for digging up an old thread, OP here.

Just wanted to say thanks for all the advice. Finally had my first session last week. It was such a relief to be able to say what I'd been needing to get out for years. Counselor was great, really encouraging, knew when to let me sit in silence and absorb what I'd said and when to question something.

I was 100% honest with her, and that led to lots of back & forth for the first little while, as I'd mention something or someone that I hadn't referred to before, and she would note it down, which puzzled me at first, but later realised that she was basically trying to understand how people were connected in my stories (i.e. I mentioned a brother's name, then a friend's name & she just wanted to know which of them it was in relation to what I was talking about.)

Just wanted to reassure anyone who's thinking of going to take that first step, it really is the hardest, but it's worth it. I feel so much lighter already. I don't see it being easy all the time, as talking about so much of the stuff had me close to tears or in tears, and when I got home, I was wrecked tired, and just went straight to bed and cried on and off for about an hour. But I don't tend to let myself cry too much so that was probably why that happened!

So thanks again Boardsies, I don't know if I would have taken that first step if it wasn't for some of the replies here-it took me til the start of Jan to actually bite the bullet and do it-thanks a million. X