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opposite sex-interest

  • 08-08-2012 8:02pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am not sure if this question should go in personal issues or in here to be honest. But I felt like there might be more people her who could identify or advise on my problem.

    Basically I am lesbian, or so I believe anyways. I have been in a loving relationship for over two years now with my girlfriend. I love her very much and we are perfect for each other...Except lately for one thing...sex.

    Before getting into my current relationship I did not have much experience at all, with guys or girls. My girlfriend on the other hand has had a considerable amount, and tried both guys and girls.

    Lately I have been finding myself more and more curious to fool around with a guy to see what it is like. I have watched a some guy porn and got aroused and it has made me more curious to try. But this is confusing for me because I really don't want to loose my girl.

    I mentioned it once to my girlfriend when I was drunk, but she was really upset.

    Is this normal? Has anyone else gone through this? Any advise or tips??


Comments

  • #2
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    Firstly, OP, most things are normal, just so you know. Fancying guys, girls, both, is perfectly normal. :)

    I think that finding men attractive after coming out as a lesbian is a major major taboo in our community. It's like you can't be a 'real' lesbian if you find any men attractive. I can bullsh*t on that one. I consider myself very much a lesbian, but there are certain men I would not kick out of bed. I think it's natural to be curious, in particular when you have less experience that other people. I know I have been, and still continue to be curious a bit about what sex with a guy is like. But I don't think about it enough to want to experiment or risk my relationship. I'll happily admit that I watch all kinds of porn, including straight and gay male porn, and I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of, personally. Different things are exciting to different people, and I think it's foolish not to explore safely what you find hot. The key there is safely, and risking your relationship to satisfy a curiosity isn't really safe if you ask me.

    I can understand that this is probably getting to you, but I can also totally see it from your gf's point of view- for lots of women finding out your gf is getting curious about guys is scary. Me personally I found it very difficult that my gf identifies as bi when we first got together, and it was all down to my own self esteem. I was confident in my ability to 'win out' over other girls that might vie for her attention, but not with guys- there was stuff they could offer that I couldn't. SO it's hard from that perspective too.

    I guess you need to decide if this curiosity about your sexuality needs to be acted upon, and h=what you're willing to loose to do so.


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