Replacing the pub with something meaningful

wise_guy

First time poster on here but I want people's opinions.

As I have just crossed the 30 mark, I am at last feeling that the night-club scene is a thing of the past. I find I dont enjoy being in night-clubs any more. I find them to be over-ran with drunk people, much like me over the past 10 years.

But I have a problem with this - what do I replace this with? I'm 30 and looking to meet that somebody at this stage, but just not sure what to do or where to do it. Has anybody else ever had this experience, and what did they do about it?

I dont fancy going to an older-persons club to be honest, I'd rather find an alternative!

Just a bit more about me, I'm into sports (most of them), music (trad, rock etc), I look after myself and am a light/moderate drinker.

Open to suggestions or ideas! (Not trying this board as a dating column by the way!!)

zef

Would you try www.meetup.com -
All sorts of interest groups there.
Good luck!

looksee

That's an excellent link - don't be put off by the fact that it takes you to the US initially, there are more local groups, and you could always start one!

wise_guy

wise_guy wrote: »

Just a bit more about me, I'm into sports (most of them), music (trad, rock etc), I look after myself and am a light/moderate drinker.

There are very few hobbies in life that do not have some kind of social outlet to compliment them. The only advice I can think of to fit your situation is to explore all the possibilities of the social side of these things you already like and try to be proactive in them.

You mention music for example so I will give you my own testimonial / example related to this as it just happens to be how I met my current partners. I too am into music and live music. All the bands I like have websites with forums for fan discussion.

So I got into the habit before gigs to post up "Pre gig meet up" locations and times. I would then go and sit with a book and a drink in those locations and see if anyone showed up. Usually they would and we would get into the usual ice breaking conversations of "When was the first time you listened to...." "how did you get into...." "What is your fave song and what does it mean to you...." and so on. I got to know some great people that way up to and including the girls I now am in a relationship with.

This also extended over time to not just being pre gig meet ups. I would post on the forums saying "X is playing in Galway this weekend! Yay! So I am driving there and have 4 empty seats in my car - who wants to come" and this would lead to some great road trips.

Since you are the one being proactive and instigating this you are also the centre of attention and the focus of the group which is a great way to get to know people and for them to get to know you.

This is just one example of course. But there are equivelents in everything you want to do. Sport. Music. Education. Everything.

For example I am currently trying to learn another language. So I posted on some forums and have been creating a once weekly meetup group of people also trying to learn that language - or people from those countries who live in Ireland.

So we meet. We talk. Then for 1-2 hours of the night we have to talk in that language ONLY. The mother tounge members correct us or help us along. Then after a time the "X only rule" ends and we can go back to English. I find most do not however and continue trying - or do a mix of english and the language.

We all learn. We all have fun. We meet new people. I meet Irish people with the same interest as me. The foreign people meet others from their country which is good for them too. Plus their english is improved by us. EVERYONE wins here.

So that is two examples. The point is for you to find what interests YOU and then apply some imagination and find proactive and social ways to indulge that hobby.

Finding friends - and a partner - well all that just falls into place itself as you proceed on this journey.

wise_guy

Cheers for your information and thoughts people, I really appreciate them. I see a couple of things on meetup which would definitely interest me. Such as the music group.

I should have clarified, I am not wanting to become a hermit and replace my social life with chatting in an internet chatroom or anything like that, I'm just wanting to change my social life from being where drinking is the main focal point to something where there is a main point and maybe a few drinks afterwards or as part of it, do you know what I mean? Some of the groups in meetup sound interesting, such as the hill walking one and the music group ones, amongst others which might be worth a look.

You might want to check out the "Hash House Harriers". They are a world wide club who do running outings together and there is an Irish branch. It is setup with tiers so the fast runners are not held back by the slow and so forth but they all meet up together and drink together afterwards.

They drink after all the runs. Sometimes if the runs pass drinking locations they drink during the runs too In fact their tag line is "We are a drinking club with a running problem".