Dating a 16 year old.

LegacyUser

I am a 19 year old unemployed male who is currently single. Anyway too cut a long story short there is a girl who is 16 (17 next spring) who told one of my mates that she fancied me I didn't think anything of it until the other night when a mate of mine picked me up in town and the girl happend to be in the car anyway we got chatting and had a bit of a laugh. When I got home she messaged me on FB and we got talking she asked me did I fancy going to the cinema this week and i said yes. She then told me she was 16 I was initially a bit taken a back by the age difference I spoke to my mates about the whole situation and they didn't seem to think anything was wrong with me dating her. I then spoke to her about the age difference and she assured me it doesent matter and that she's mature.

She's going into 5th yr ATM while I left school 2 years ago. I'm 20 in December .

The question I have is, is it alright to date her or should I walk away?

mickey1985

Think of it this way if you were 29 and she was 26 people wudnt even notice a difference. I know it seems awkward when she is still in school and you are finished but i dont see any problem with this at all.

Missy Moo Moo

mickey1985 wrote: »

Think of it this way if you were 29 and she was 26 people wudnt even notice a difference. I know it seems awkward when she is still in school and you are finished but i dont see any problem with this at all.

Yes but a 29 and a 26 year old is a bit different to a 19 and a 16 year old.

OP, I know I don't know either of you but I would say it's just too much of an age gap, the age gap does shrink as you get older but 19 year olds are very different to 16 year olds, doesn't matter how mature a 16 year old deems herself to be! What about stuff like her getting served in pubs and that kind of thing? What will you have in common?

Thats just my opinion though.

P. Breathnach

I can't imagine any 16 year old girl saying that she is not mature, so don't put that claim into the reckoning. I'd even lean the other way on it, and wonder if she is trying to be adult before she is fully ready.

If you are at a stage in your life where dating usually means sex, then forget it.

If you are willing to have a more "innocent" type of relationship, then consider how well you and she might fit into one another's circle of friends. Would you be comfortable in the company of a group of her school friends, or would you look on them as a gang of kids?

ted1

What have you been doing since you left school?
If you've been claiming. The dole and not furthering your education, learning a trade or trying to better yourself, then please stay away from her. The last thing a 16 year old school girl needs is some one pulling her down.

blatantrereg

ted1 wrote: »

What have you been doing since you left school?
If you've been claiming. The dole and not furthering your education, learning a trade or trying to better yourself, then please stay away from her. The last thing a 16 year old school girl needs is some one pulling her down.

16 year olds dont need to worry about stuff like that in people they date. You picked the single criterion where her age is actually a good thing here.
It's really not ideal to date a 16 year old at 19. I agree with the posts by Missy Moo Moo and P Breathnach.

OP - There is no harm in spending time with her. And there is no need for you to make all the decisions up front. Go to the cinema, spend time with her, and time will tell what is to come of it.

ted1

blatantrereg wrote: »

16 year olds dont need to worry about stuff like that in people they date. You picked the single criterion where her age is actually a good thing here.
It's really not ideal to date a 16 year old at 19. I agree with the posts by Missy Moo Moo and P Breathnach.

They do, if there going out with acomplete waster they'll be pulled down,I've seen it happy many times.

cruais

I would definitely not get involved there. The age gap falls when you get into your 20's and 30's. She is also underage. If you were to get into a sexual relationship before she turns 17, you run the risk of being charged.

I'm not sure if your in college or not, but I'm sure there are girls more closer to your age that would be more on the same wave length as you. I'm sure you like to head out at the weekend with friends. How is that going to work when your seeing a 16 year old? She has a slim chance of getting into any clubs.

At the end of the day, it's your decision, but in my mind, the cons outweigh the pros.

Piliger

Hi OP.

I have encountered two situations in the last 5 years where friends of my son, who is now 20, got dragged to court over sex with an underage girl. In both cases, their parents had to pay tens of thousands in legal fees and one of them is now on the sex register ! And proceedings can be taken against you by her parents ... not just by her !

Now you may say that's fine - you'll be careful. But keep in mind that any accusation against you, by her or her parents has the potential to destroy your life.

In my view you are playing with fire.

Redpunto

Being 19 is completely different to being 16 - you cant use the same analogy of being 29 and her 26 as age gaps arent as obvious as in her emotional, financial, socia development. I really wouldnt go there.

Kidchameleon

I don't see why you cant have a relationship, just stay away from the sexy time and have fun!

Piper101

I don't see a problem with it at all. When I was 16 (I'm a girl) I went out with a 19 year old. No sex until I turned 17 and knew each other pretty well by then so was fairly ideal. As long as he is understanding of the age and level of maturity of the girl.

LegacyUser

Op posting here,

I've taken all opinions on here on board and believe me everything posted here has gone through my head.

I'm due to start a College as well( level 7 ) in September as well so i'll not be unemployed as such for the longterm not sure why that makes a difference at all tbh.

About the whole age gap thing my parents who are happily married have a age gap of 5 years and my mother was 18 when having me so......

AhInFairness

AgeHelp12 wrote: »

About the whole age gap thing my parents who are happily married have a age gap of 5 years and my mother was 18 when having me so......

Ah here, times have changed OP. My mother got married at 19 and had 3 kids by the time she was 27 but I can tell you that she would have been horrified if we had down the same.

I notice you have conveniently failed to acknowledge the fact that this girl is underage. You can't have a sexual relationship with her until she is 17 as to do so would be statutory rape.

I had a relationship with a 21 year old when I was 16 and we were in completely different places both emotionally and socially. He was finishing college and I was only in 5th year. He wanted us to go to the pub on the weekend and I was constantly stopped and asked for ID which really limited where we could go, not to mention the fact that I had feck all money. He hated being around my friends and I his. It lasted over a year but should have ended a long time before that. We also didn't have sex until I was 17 btw.

If you're happy to have an innocent relationship with no sex and limited social life then go for it, but be very careful until she hits 17.

marzic

You are a man and she is a child, in the eyes of the law, and the eyes of her parents/family/insert other. She is bound to be keen to be with an older guy in my opinion for reasons that you may be more mature or cool or whatever compared to 16yo males, and its obvious she is forward. Proceed with caution - you are the grown-up.

LegacyUser

marzic wrote: »

You are a man and she is a child, in the eyes of the law, and the eyes of her parents/family/insert other. She is bound to be keen to be with an older guy in my opinion for reasons that you may be more mature or cool or whatever compared to 16yo males, and its obvious she is forward. Proceed with caution - you are the grown-up.

Look im not a pedophile by any stretch of the imagination. Nor would I be forcing her into any sexual situations. I'm due to meet her tomorrow and my plan is to tell her my reservations and see what happens .

blatantrereg

you might be missing the point there. Nobody suggested you'd force her into anything. 16 is underage, and sex with her would be statutory rape. Even if you personally dont see anything morally wrong about it, trust her, feel she is mature enough, even if she is dying for you to do so... sleeping with her would still be a moronic thing to do.

tricialou

Agehelp12 wrote: »

I am a 19 year old unemployed male who is currently single. Anyway too cut a long story short there is a girl who is 16 (17 next spring) who told one of my mates that she fancied me I didn't think anything of it until the other night when a mate of mine picked me up in town and the girl happend to be in the car anyway we got chatting and had a bit of a laugh. When I got home she messaged me on FB and we got talking she asked me did I fancy going to the cinema this week and i said yes. She then told me she was 16 I was initially a bit taken a back by the age difference I spoke to my mates about the whole situation and they didn't seem to think anything was wrong with me dating her. I then spoke to her about the age difference and she assured me it doesent matter and that she's mature.

She's going into 5th yr ATM while I left school 2 years ago. I'm 20 in December .

The question I have is, is it alright to date her or should I walk away?

Dont!!!Its illegal . If you really like her wait till shes 17. She wont be going anywhere. if you still like her then then go for it. Anyway you ll get a bad name for yourself for being with someone so young and other women will not look kindly on it. Leave it till she s 17, if shes worth it youll wait if shes not worth it then why bother risk it!

Quality

I met my oh when I was 16 and he was 19.
I am 32 now and can't get rid of him


Would be careful about the statutory rape of minor part. Or you could also get done for grooming!