Strong Infatuation following breakup of long term relationship

LegacyUser

Basically, I am recently out of my first long term relationship. It affected me quite badly but I have made it through with much support from professionals etc. I'm in my early 20's

Now I find myself totally infatuated with another girl. So much so, to the point that I feel unwell. She is a few years younger than I am and as such anything happening would raise a good few eyebrows, not least my own. We have spoken and discussed that we do like eachother but have not made a decision on what will happen, if anything.

I feel that my mental health is really suffering because of this. I'm totally overwhelmed by this feeling, like I said earlier to the point of feeling quite unwell. I'm not sure that this is the best thing for me right now but the desire is unbelievably strong.

Does anyone have any experience of this? How did it work out for you? I'm feeling very, very lost at the moment.

Thanks a million in advance.

snafuk35

uhnne333 wrote: »

Basically, I am recently out of my first long term relationship. It affected me quite badly but I have made it through with much support from professionals etc. I'm in my early 20's

Now I find myself totally infatuated with another girl. So much so, to the point that I feel unwell. She is a few years younger than I am and as such anything happening would raise a good few eyebrows, not least my own. We have spoken and discussed that we do like eachother but have not made a decision on what will happen, if anything.

I feel that my mental health is really suffering because of this. I'm totally overwhelmed by this feeling, like I said earlier to the point of feeling quite unwell. I'm not sure that this is the best thing for me right now but the desire is unbelievably strong.

Does anyone have any experience of this? How did it work out for you? I'm feeling very, very lost at the moment.

Thanks a million in advance.

What's so special about her and why is she any different from thousands of other women? Is she the only woman in the entire world?

hunnibee

Hi uhnne333,

It seems that you have some serious mental issues going on here. What you are describing is not healthy, it is going to ruin you.

its not right to be so obsessed with someone,regardless of their age, however you seem to be lacking something in your life that you have to compensate for. Thats not love, that is just something seriously missing in your life.

Did your previous long term gf hurt you so badly that you had to seek professional help? Did she dump you for someone else? Has she cut off all communication with you now?

As the previous poster said, what is so special about this girl? How do you she is not ging to hurt you too like the other one did?

LegacyUser

Hi uhnne333,

As difficult as it may seem, YOU WILL GET BETTER. You need to put your mental health before any relationship. If necessary, talk to your support. Do you use aware/grow/recovery inc. outside of the hospital?

If it is making you unwell, then you need to stop! This is coming from experience. How healthy would a relationship be if your unwell? How can you focus on YOUR recovery if your focussing on someone else?

Take a step back and look at it from an independent point of view (though its quite difficult). Your thoughts are exactly that, thoughts, and not actions? Have you tried mindfulness? Its fantastic when my illness effects me.

Go and see your doctor/gp/psychiatrist if necessary and be 100% honest with them. They have heard it all before, nothing will surprise them.

All the best

jimmycrackcorm

Op, you need more professional help. The very fact that you needed help simply from getting out of your first relationship indicates you are not ready to move into another until you are comfortable with yourself to carry another relationship normally regardless of age difference.