35 single and soon to be on the dole

sillymoo2007

Hi, I'm 35 single (fem) and soon to be made redundant, I feel like im having a panic attack at the thoughts of all of the above, friends are all either married and having kids or in a serious relationship and having kids, everything I ever wanted!! Isnt it funny how for so long we concentrate on work and day to day things and suddenly time passes by and ive hit a wall. I'm worried about how to spend my free time on the dole at the moment ive always worked thats what Ive known, but what to do about meeting a partner that just wants to breed lol my clock is ticking and I dont want to be on the shelf out of time.......I guess I would just like confirmation that I'm not on my own with my thoughts any suggestions and advice much appreciated

trishasaffron

Difficult situation but it could be a cloud with a silver lining. Make a list of all the free or cheap activities you could get involved with. Find a volunteering opportunity at volunteer.ie, drop in to local library for free internet, books etc..

Forget about the friends who have what you want, we can only live our own lives.

rainbow kirby

Moved from tLL to PI.

pastorbarrett

In a similar predicament myself. It's cliché and no doubt you're aware of this already, but it's important to realise that there are always new opportunities to avail of, even when life may impose undesirable change upon us. Granted your circumstances may be difficult financially and otherwise, but you've been given the chance to reassess, plan, and move forward as best you can. And not to be trite about it, but perhaps this a chance for you to enjoy life free of the stresses and strains of work, 9-5 etc.

Practically speaking and by way of example, consider the following:

Further Education-are/were you happy in your current line of work? Was there a career path that you never pursued but could now?

Hobbies/Interests- rekindle your relationship with these. Don't underestimate the joy and opportunities these may bring.

Social Groups/ Evening Classes/ Group Activities-connect with people wherever possible. You will have to be proactive in this regard, but they will open up new avenues and opportunities for you.

Travel/ Work Abroad-perhaps it's an opportunity to seek a new beginning elsewhere.

The above may or not be applicable to you, but hopefully they will give you some idea's and inspiration.

As for romance, from what I know it's a little less prescribed and predictable :cool: Don't give up hope for what you want and deserve.

If I've come to realise anything, it's that life inevitably throws you these curveballs, but what's important is how you respond and seek to engage with them. Do your best to be positive and rely on the support of family and friends where possible. I wish you all the best

CommanderC

sillymoo2007 wrote: »

Hi, I'm 35 single (fem) and soon to be made redundant, I feel like im having a panic attack at the thoughts of all of the above, friends are all either married and having kids or in a serious relationship and having kids, everything I ever wanted!! Isnt it funny how for so long we concentrate on work and day to day things and suddenly time passes by and ive hit a wall. I'm worried about how to spend my free time on the dole at the moment ive always worked thats what Ive known, but what to do about meeting a partner that just wants to breed lol my clock is ticking and I dont want to be on the shelf out of time.......I guess I would just like confirmation that I'm not on my own with my thoughts any suggestions and advice much appreciated

The grass is not always greener. I know a lot of couples married with kids who are in unhappy relationships and yearn for the days when they were single and had the freedom to follow their dreams.

You are in a great position. Do something you have always wanted to do. Get involved in heaps of different activities, study, do a bit of travelling.

As for meeting someone, it will happen. Getting out there and exploring life will make it happen even faster !!

BraziliaNZ

Yeah also you need to realise you may never have kids, lots of people don't, so don't rush into anything. Life can be great without them you know!

okiss

Will you be getting any redundancy money when your job ends?
I would look at all your expenses use the nca.ie budget planner and see where you can save money as it may take some time to get a job.
If you have some money I would go on a cheap holiday for a few days as it will give you something to look forward to. I would sign on the dole once you come back. I would get up at a certain time each day and look for a new job. See if you can join a local gym, group or organisation as you need to make new friends and keep in contact with people.
I would not worry about the fact that your friends are in relationships/having babies as there lives may not be as wonderful as you think.
Some times life can throw up the unexpected but you can look on this as a chance to have some time off, to learn new skills, get involved in new things ect.