Ireland's Dumbest Criminals

Pj!

A few snippets from a news story today:

A MAN who tried to rob a building society while posing as a wheelchair-bound woman has been jailed for this and another attempted robbery.

Thomas Clark (43) arrived at the building society unshaven and wearing a poor-quality black wig. He was being pushed in the wheelchair by an accomplice, Martin Collins (21). Collins had previously made an appointment with the manager on the pretence that a woman he was caring for had been awarded €2.9 million by the State and wanted to invest it.

Det Garda Sgt Peter Woods told Dara Hayes, prosecuting, that the building society manager Michael Doyle noticed the “woman” was wearing what was obviously a black wig.

Clark got out of the wheelchair and produced what Mr Doyle thought was a shotgun. Then he noticed it was a man dressed as a woman. Clark shouted “Get down on the floor” but Mr Doyle realised the weapon was an imitation gun. Collins produced a similar weapon but this was a hatchet made to look like a gun.

Mr Doyle then shouted at the raiders: “Would you ever f**k off”.

:rolleyes:

theholyghost

Pj! wrote: »

Mr Doyle then shouted at the raiders: “Would you ever f**k off”.

That's just perfect.

FatherLen

i cant facepalm hard enough

Hande hoche!

Well done Mr. Doyle.

Pushtrak

They'd have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those pesky kids.

danniemcq

I think this was Raphoe in Donegal that this happened last year (somewhere in Donegal anyway) during the heavy snows. One of the local shops got robbed (the usual cigs etc) and the guards came a looking.

They didn’t have to look far though as the footprints of the guys was found leading to and from the shop from their house.

Culleeo

I've heard it all now. I think calling them dumb is an insult to dumb people.

TheBody

Oh jaysus that made me laugh!! Thanks for that op!!

GAAman

Bet he got the idea from this, tit!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1VgmEtuhwA

Corvo

"Collins produced a similar weapon but this was a hatchet made to look like a gun"

LOL! What an idiot.

kildare.17hmr

How bad must his shotgun have looked if a bank manager can spot its fake when its pulled in his bank?! ****in tools :rolleyes:

ronaneire

She he should of shaved they would of gotten away with it :rolleyes:

Cienciano

Clark also pleaded guilty to the attempted robbery of the EBS in Leixlip the following day. The court heard while running to escape gardaí, Clark jumped into the river Liffey and tried to swim across it.

:eek:


http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2012/0725/1224320762505.html

King George VI

The important thing is that they tried :PAC:

Kwack

I know someone working in a cashless bank who had armed raiders come in. When the lads realised the place was cashless they robbed the tea money (about €40 haha).

nbar12

that was a close shave

kildare.17hmr

nbar12 wrote: »

that was a close shave

Or not

Mr Freeze

Any pictures of this Hatchet Gun?

I hear the shotgun was a fisher price neon yellow plastic thing...

it wasn't

BillyMitchel

No idea how true this is but years ago when we were kids there was a story going around about a local criminal/idiot.

He walked into a building society with a pillow case over his head and the oul finger in his pocket as a gun. Thing was the bank knew this and him and told him to **** off and because he had no holes in the pillow case he ran straight into the glass door and knocked himself out and got caught.

Drugs are bad..

SocSocPol

Feck it, I thought this was another Seanie and fingers thread!:D

January

http://www.independent.ie/national-news/getaway-farce-as-redfaced-robbers-run-out-of-petrol-53919.html

A GETAWAY driver whose car ran out of petrol after a robbery so badly planned that Hollywood 'could have made a film of it' has received a two-year jail sentence.
Martin Moore (30), a cocaine and heroin addict, acted as lookout and used his own car, but it ran out of petrol half a mile from the crime scene.

The robbers pushed the car to a security hut and asked the guard for a petrol can. The guard was suspicious because he had seen a garda helicopter and patrol cars in the area, but he agreed to give it on condition that one of the men wait in the car.

Moore then walked back in the direction of the shop he had robbed and bought petrol, using some of the ?180 cash stolen. He was stopped by gardai on his return, and threw the money away and surrendered himself. Gardai found his co-accused in the car with mobile phones that had also been taken in the robbery.