people that overslag others.

teednab-el

How far should one allow a person to slag you personally before sayin something?

I was at wedding there recently and this fast whittled guy who works in the same company as me and who most people find funny but I and few others don't kept slagging me for the entire day about everything. I have got big into my fitness over the last year and I'm doing alot of different sports just to stay fit. This guy was asking me how fast I did a recent cycle race and all and then telling me that was dissappointing for my age, eventhough I was only doing it for the enjoyment. Fair enough to say that but then just wouldn't stop on about it.

Same with running, I run on roads and beaches just for fitness and then he kept annoying me that I was a chicken and that I wouldn't to do a marathon, eventhough I'd have no real interest in doing one. I don't have to proove anything to him, I was happy with my own efforts. This all kind of happened over a few drinks but that guy had more drank than me and I was a bit annoyed so "I told him to go and fcuk yourself" a liitle harsh maybe but I thought it was unfair on me to be making a mockery out of me.

There was other slagging going on as well throughout the day about other personal topics and it just all added fuel to the fire. Maybe, I'm the one wrong but its not nice to hold up all that slagging for the day. I'm too self aware, lack confidence and bit insecure so when people put me down its get to me and its worse when I drink. I dont slag people or take the piss out if anyone that is doing something. Anyway looks like I don't want no more to do with this guy. Should be an interesting week at work.

Ickle Magoo

Just spend as little time in his company as possible.

You work with the guy - anything he says/does at work can be reported and just avoid spending any leisure time with him. If you don't give him any information about you then he has no ammunition to use against you.

Be as polite as needs be and professional at work and share nothing about your private life with him/infront of him.

All the best.

xzanti

He sounds like the type of person who gets a kick out of having an audience..

Pull him to one side (in a non aggressive way) and ask him person to person what his problem is.. I'll bet you'll find he's not such a big man without the spectators..

Best of luck with it..

DoctorMedicine

teednab-el wrote: »

How far should one allow a person to slag you personally before sayin something?

I was at wedding there recently and this fast whittled guy who works in the same company as me and who most people find funny but I and few others don't kept slagging me for the entire day about everything. I have got big into my fitness over the last year and I'm doing alot of different sports just to stay fit. This guy was asking me how fast I did a recent cycle race and all and then telling me that was dissappointing for my age, eventhough I was only doing it for the enjoyment. Fair enough to say that but then just wouldn't stop on about it.

Same with running, I run on roads and beaches just for fitness and then he kept annoying me that I was a chicken and that I wouldn't to do a marathon, eventhough I'd have no real interest in doing one. I don't have to proove anything to him, I was happy with my own efforts. This all kind of happened over a few drinks but that guy had more drank than me and I was a bit annoyed so "I told him to go and fcuk yourself" a liitle harsh maybe but I thought it was unfair on me to be making a mockery out of me.

There was other slagging going on as well throughout the day about other personal topics and it just all added fuel to the fire. Maybe, I'm the one wrong but its not nice to hold up all that slagging for the day. I'm too self aware, lack confidence and bit insecure so when people put me down its get to me and its worse when I drink. I dont slag people or take the piss out if anyone that is doing something. Anyway looks like I don't want no more to do with this guy. Should be an interesting week at work.

You really shouldn't have brought yourself down to his level. That was a poor response and one which would only worsen the situation. You would have have been much better to explain to him exactly how his comments were affecting you.

Avoid this man if he is like this to you, but never lower yourself to verbally abuse-it really undermines your argument.

Big Bag of Chips

DoctorMedicine wrote: »

You really shouldn't have brought yourself down to his level. That was a poor response.....

True, in theory! Sometimes in practice it is the only thing that works with people like him!

OP, we've all met them. We all know blokes like that, and the thing about it is, even though the are "the big man" in front of people, they usually crumble if stood up to.

I think you did right. But now, you keep out of his company or don't engage with him if you are forced to be in his company.

It is much easier than people think to ignore someone, even when you are sitting beside them! He'll soon get tired of slagging you when its no fun for him anymore.

And you can be certain most other people you work with have the same opinion of him that you do!

Morag

At what point does it go from slagging to bullying?

leggo

With slagging, the idea should be that the person you're slagging too should laugh. It becomes bullying if someone is deliberately trying to make another person feel worse about themselves. Simple as.

BarackPyjama

He sounds like a charmless clown. Leave him to his circus and just ignore him. It sounds to me as if he was asking you questions, you were answering, giving him the ammo he needed and then he was berating you. Next time he says anything to you, anything, just ignore him. Literally pretend he's not there. Be completely ignorant of him.

andrew241983

Tell him ur doing kickboxing to stay fit and ask him does he want to know what time you can knock him out in...
And from my own experiences those who constantly dish it out lose the plot when it thrown back at them...

teednab-el

andrew241983 wrote: »

Tell him ur doing kickboxing to stay fit and ask him does he want to know what time you can knock him out in...
And from my own experiences those who constantly dish it out lose the plot when it thrown back at them...

I do kickboxing but I would never dare to knock anyone out unless it was life or death situation.

Big Bag of Chips

teednab-el wrote: »

andrew241983 wrote: »

Tell him ur doing kickboxing to stay fit and ask him does he want to know what time you can knock him out in...
And from my own experiences those who constantly dish it out lose the plot when it thrown back at them...

I do kickboxing but I would never dare to knock anyone out unless it was life or death situation.

I don't think Andrew was suggesting you knock him out... But merely suggesting you slag him back! Because he's so keen on your times!

teednab-el

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I don't think Andrew was suggesting you knock him out... But merely suggesting you slag him back! Because he's so keen on your times!

That be a funny one.

Nulty

I'd also consider that his bullying/slagging is a sign of weakness or a defensive mechanism either because he is insecure about his own achievements or because he is trying to make up for his own short comings in personal relations.

It's not so cut and dry that he is asserting his own perceived superiority but because he feels threatened by your own self confidence and contentment that his ego feels the need to confront the adversary.

What I'm saying is it might be a purely reactionary or reflex that his ego perceives as a threat. In this case I would not blame the individual as much as the behaviour.

Two sides to every coin...

tbh

you just have to be direct, particularly in company. "listen man, give it a rest, would you? i dont find it funny and youre starting to really piss me off"

that lets everyone know you dont like it and invariably other people will also tell him to quit if you've made it clear that you dont appreciate it.

Jason Todd

He sounds a bit jealous of you. Maybe he'd like to do all the things you do, or he saw you as an equal and now you're bettering yourself he feels bitter. And if he does do all the same things you do, maybe he can only do them competitively and would love to 'enjoy' them like you do.

I've known people like this, just give them a wide berth.