I met a lovely man.

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I met a really nice fella a couple of weeks ago. He was visiting his friend who lives near me and we met in the local pub.

We got on great and he took my number. He texted the next day and I texted a couple of days later.

He has a great sense of humour and even though I only spent one evening with him I really like him and would like to get to know him better. The snag is that he lives really far away, a hundred miles or so.

I suggested he come down again next week and he seemed into the idea but the distance thing is a problem.

I'm thinking of texting and saying that while I'd love to get to know him better I understand if it's not feasible due to us living so far apart.

Is this a bad idea? Should I just stick with the friendly texts and see what happens? I suppose I'd like to reassure him that I'm into him but without being too full on.

I'm in my early thirties and I'd say he's a few years older. I've had relationships before but am just a bit puzzled as to how to continue with this.

Any thoughts?

Thanks.

Piliger

Hi OP. Glad you met someone nice

Please don't thinkI am a killjoy ... but I think because you are mature enough to consider the consequences, that you should sit down and give a real think to what it would mean to maintain a relationship at this distance ... ?
Have you thought about it ? travel, absence, stress, loneliness, cost, worry, jealousy, ........ ok ok that's enough
But I am just saying that these are some of the things that a distance relationship brings. I have been there and there have been many threads in this section of Boards dealing with the issues.

If you decide to go ahead ... don't go in to the complexity on the phone. Get together and meet. Anything might happen. You might change your mind. It might be great. He may be about to move somewhere . Even nearer you.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the reply. You're dead right about the distance thing although I'm not jumping that far ahead just yet!

I have commitments that will keep me here for another year then I hope to complete a masters abroad. These things make me think I shouldn't bother pursuing this but then I think: "Life's too short" why not just see where it goes.

I like your idea of not bringing anything serious up until/if we meet again. Think I'll just make sure he knows he's welcome to visit and see where we go from there.

I'm not/wasn't looking for a big relationship but you know yourself when you meet someone you click with all that goes out the window!

smileyscientist

I think you should meet up.. its not everday that you meet someone who really like.. Why don't ye meet in the middle for the first date and see how ye get on? You never know, might just have been a fluke!;) and if so ye have nothing to worry about.. If ye do get on as well as yer first encounter then ye can work it out.. 100miles isnt that long really and if ye both like each other enough ye will do whatever it takes to make it work.. My BF lives 10,000 miles away and we are making it work!

See how it goes.. don't jump the gun- just enjoy the first date and take it from there.. best of luck!;)

LegacyUser

A few years ago I met a lovely man in circumstances somewhat similar. In my case I decided not to pursue things because he lived a couple of hours away. And you know what? I regret it. I'm not holding a torch to this guy or anything but I've never met another man I "clicked" with in the same way. Sometimes I think about him and wonder what might've been. Maybe things wouldn't have worked out but I'm sorry I didn't even give things a try. If I had a chance to go back in time and change my decision, I would.

Merkin

Whooaaa there. You've only exchanged a few texts, he's not suggesting you donate an organ. Why are you overthinking this and being so anxious when you only met this man once (by chance) and you don't even know him? Why don't you give him, yourself and the situation a chance before assessing how you feel or analysing the plethora of circumstances and feelings that may or may not materialise? I get that you're in your 30s (hardly a fossil) but one has to take chances too. Sending a Dear John text before you've even been on a date seems terribly premature and ever so slightly odd. Take a chance and see where it leads - you might even have some fun!

LegacyUser

You're telling me to whoa? I don't get it?

I had posted another reply but it hasn't shown up.

Basically, I would like to get to know this man better. I have my own life, am a student who hopes to travel to study next year. I only gave my age for some context, not as a biological clock warning

Thanks for the replies, I just wanted to bounce this situation off some people and I do appreciate the replies.

I'm not looking for a 'happy ever after' scenario I just wanted to see what others thought of this situation.

We've been texting this evening and it's nice, he's nice, I'm nice, it's all nice except that I live so far from him.

Merkin

I said "whooaaaa" because it seems like you are overthinking this. If you like him then go with it and enjoy it. 100 miles is nothing. Genuinely, on the grand scheme of things it is very little and will not be an obstacle if you really take a shine to one another but even thinking like that is running before you can walk. Take that out of the equation for now and enjoy the flirtation and the buzz of having the attention of someone hot and getting to know someone!! One step at a time!