Am I reading too much into this?

LegacyUser

Hi,

This is a strange one. I'm not sure or not whether a girl is coming on to me.

I recently started attending an evening course, which is run a couple of times a week, and I don't know any of the other people. Naturally there has been chit-chat among all attendees. There is one girl however who seems to go out of her way to come and speak to me.

She seems nice & friendly - but I'm just not used to having any female attention. It just never happens to me (which I'm fine with). I'm in a long term committed relationship and have no interest in anyone other than my O/H.

I'm generally fairly awkward around people I don't know very well - and I've always been even more awkward around girls/women. Small talk and chit-chat is not my forte!

But here's the problem:

I don't want to give the impression that I'm 'interested' in her. But I don't actually know if she is into me or just being friendly. So if I mis-read the situation, I end up coming across like I'm full of myself and thinking that she's into me.

Should I say nothing, just be polite and keep my distance, or should I say something - which could end up awkward & embarrassing if I have misread the situation...??

P. Breathnach

If all conversation is related to the course, then I would read nothing into it.

If the conversation ranges more widely, you don't have to read anything into it, either, but you should be able (without its being too contrived) to work in some mention of your OH.

snafuk35

Being-Big-Headed? wrote: »

Hi,

This is a strange one. I'm not sure or not whether a girl is coming on to me.

I recently started attending an evening course, which is run a couple of times a week, and I don't know any of the other people. Naturally there has been chit-chat among all attendees. There is one girl however who seems to go out of her way to come and speak to me.

She seems nice & friendly - but I'm just not used to having any female attention. It just never happens to me (which I'm fine with). I'm in a long term committed relationship and have no interest in anyone other than my O/H.

I'm generally fairly awkward around people I don't know very well - and I've always been even more awkward around girls/women. Small talk and chit-chat is not my forte!

But here's the problem:

I don't want to give the impression that I'm 'interested' in her. But I don't actually know if she is into me or just being friendly. So if I mis-read the situation, I end up coming across like I'm full of myself and thinking that she's into me.

Should I say nothing, just be polite and keep my distance, or should I say something - which could end up awkward & embarrassing if I have misread the situation...??

Body language is a good way to tell.
If she is looking right into your eyes, laughing a bit too hard at your jokes, playing with her hair, adjusting her clothes or scratching her neck, turning her body around toward you when she sits near you rather than sitting straight in her chair etc. then she is probably into you.
The best thing you can do is bring up your other half in conversations and subtly make it clear that you are in a serious relationship rather than embarrassing her by telling her back off.
Most importantly make sure that if you are attracted to her yourself and you think you might end up in a situation where you might end up cheating with this woman, to keep your distance.
Perhaps you do feel attracted to her and maybe this because there might be some problem with the other half and maybe things are going a bit stale which is why you feel so flattered that a nice woman like this could be taking and interest in you?
If all else fails you might have to give up the course rather than risk having an affair you might regret.
You can easily get tempted into one and then it could get really messy.
Best of luck.

Dellnum

I think if your gut tells you that this woman is interested in you then you are right, she is. My advice would be to be polite and keep your distance. It is not necessary to tell her to back off. As another poster said bring your OH into the conversation. Problem solved.

daisy1984

Luvy this is not complicated! If you have the slightest feeling thats shes into you just keep your distance, only talk bout college and keep it cool. Or you could do the other and just keep on on at her about how fantastic ur partner is! She'll get the hint. It works