Depression. Help.

RobynneOS

Hey there.
I don't know if anyone can help me. Im an 18 year old girl and I get these really bad lows when I could stay in my room for as little as an hour up to a few days just lying there crying myself to sleep. This has been going on since my granda died when I was 7. So first off death was the main trigger of it all.My relationship with my mom gets worse and worse, so that contributed and I was badly bullied at school(Eventually moving school last year but its something that you can't run away from).. I was suicidal at one point and those thoughts come back occassionally and I hate it. I've had 4 of the best friends turn against me and I've been treated so badly by guys that I think my own insecurities and trust issues are really effecting my current relationship with the most amazing person. He hasn't done anything but some days I think maybe I should just break up with him because it gets too much for me to handle. Now at home with the ressession we've terrible money problems and I understand but its hard to come up with a new excuse as to why I can't go to certain parties or anything and the guilt of asking my parents for money kills me, so I've found myself Completely cut off from everyone. I was just wondering if anyone knows what I should do. I hate talking to friends about these things because I feel like a moan, and I can't talk to family about it because they're stressed enough as it is. Did you ever just hate something so much, you can't stand to look at it, think of it, acknowledge it. Now imagine what its like if you felt that way about yourself. Thats how I feel. So just any advice would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you very much for your time to read this at least

Odysseus

Hi sadly we cannot give out personal advice here, so I'm going to redirect your post to the person issues forum. Where you will get more responses.

RobynneOS

Odysseus wrote: »

Hi sadly we cannot give out personal advice here, so I'm going to redirect your post to the person issues forum. Where you will get more responses.

Oh ok thank you. I'm still trying to get the hang of this site sorry.

Taltos

OP - I am really sorry but it is against site policy to allow threads where an OP is feeling suicidal to remain open.

Unfortunately no-one in PI is qualified to help you with this issue and leaving your thread open could lead to someone unknowingly making you feel worse.
If you have a look at our Charter there are a few links there at the end that you may find useful - some of them have 24 hour phone lines for around the clock support. By far the best thing you should do though is go speak to your GP immediately or another doctor if you don't feel comfortable. Repeat everything you have written here and ask them for help. Don't be put off if your GP can't help you, sometimes you need a 2nd or 3rd opinion.

Don't feel ashamed of this - for you what you have gone through it is quite normal - but do go and get the help you deserve.